Understanding Parents

[MarineDAD92]

I’ve read quite a few posts on here looking for advice on how to convince parents to sign for young poolies to enter the DEP. Let me start off by saying, there is no tactic you can employ or no amount of quotes you can ramble off that will do that. We cannot be convinced or sold on the idea without knowing for sure that this is what is best for our children.

There are MANY reasons a parent of a 17 year old will not support this decision initially:

1. You are 17! You are in for some big changes in the next few years, how you view the world, your priorities and principles will change drastically. We were all 17 once too and know that what seemed like a good idea at that age, seems like a terrible one now.
2. Many of us come from a non-Military family or little Military involvement. Our knowledge of what the Military has to offer is limited to what we have been exposed to and depending on the era we were raised in, some of that was not good.
3. FEAR!!! For the past 17(or so) years, we have placed ourselves between you and the world, and all the evil and violence it has to offer. We have tried to teach you how to be safe, what situations to avoid, and how to deal with them if they do arise. Joining the Marine Corp severs this tie immediately and completely the minute you step on those yellow footprints. This is a tough one to take for a parent and not easy to give up. Please understand this as someday you may be lucky enough to be a parent yourself.
4. You will change your mind. Or should I say: you WILL change your mind. It may be in the form of a bit of doubt the night before you ship to boot. It may be during the swim week when you and everyone else is sick as hell or during the Crucible….whatever. You will have some doubts and we as parents have trouble with the thought of facilitating your misery. Even if we believe in “tough love”, this is pretty freakin’ tough stuff.

I’ve posted before on here that we in fact sign for our son. There were a few things that began to happen led to this decision for us. First and foremost was the fact that he quit trying to convince us. He had previously tried everything, we had MANY dinner table and late night discussions, all of them resulted in the same answer…..NO!

After awhile, he just quit trying to “sell” the Marine Corp and continued to prepare himself for Bootcamp by getting serious about PT and poolie functions. He also began to respect our decision as his parents and it became clear that he had made his mind up to join. He didn’t care how long it would take or what hoops he had to jump through, he was going to do this no matter what. It’s as if his whole outlook on things changed and he began to FULLY understand what this decision meant. This was when my wife and I decided that the next time he approached us, we would take him seriously.
This is what has happened in MY family, every relationship is different and complex and I don’t think there is any way to offer advice that will help 17 yr. olds convince their parents. It is not meant to be instructional, only to perhaps offer some understanding.

Tim

[Old Marine]

MarineDAD92:

Very good post with a lot of good points. How is your son doing?

[MarineDAD92]

MarineDAD92:

Very good post with a lot of good points. How is your son doing?

He is doing great, thanks for asking. He is getting to know Lejeune and the surrounding area...lovin' the beach right now(when he has time)! He speaks very highly of most everyone he works with or for.

[Tennessee Top]

No disrespect intended. But, your son did not join a corporation. What he did join is the United States Marine Corps. I'm sure he will appreciate you spelling it correctly from here on out (common mistake by civilians...and even some Marines on this site).

[MarineDAD92]

No disrespect intended.

Likewise.

I wish the edit button lasted longer. No excuse though.

[Old Marine]

He is doing great, thanks for asking. He is getting to know Lejeune and the surrounding area...lovin' the beach right now(when he has time)! He speaks very highly of most everyone he works with or for.

If I remember correctly, he is in Supply isn't he. I had a Supply primary MOS of 3041 with no supply school, just OJT. Had that MOS for 20 years with a secondary MOS of 8511. For me Supply was a great field to work in. Served in 1st Tank Bn (Korea) for 13 months, Worked at 1st Force Service Regiment, Camp Pendleton, worked in 1st Marine Division Ordnance Office, Camp Pendleton, spent 3 years on Inspector Instructor Duty training reserves. Three years at MCSC, Barstow, Ca. Clothing cash sales, then went to D.I. School. Trained recruits for 7 years at MCRD, San Diego.

As you can see, as a Supply man, you can serve just about anywhere there are Marines. Tell your son I said to just keep stacking those skivies.(inside joke)

[MarineDAD92]

If I remember correctly, he is in Supply isn't he.

Yes. 3DMSOB, MARSOC. That's about all I really know, he doesn't/can't say too much more, only that he is fortunate to serve with some outstanding Marines!

I had a Supply primary MOS of 3041 with no supply school, just OJT. Had that MOS for 20 years with a secondary MOS of 8511. For me Supply was a great field to work in. Served in 1st Tank Bn (Korea) for 13 months, Worked at 1st Force Service Regiment, Camp Pendleton, worked in 1st Marine Division Ordnance Office, Camp Pendleton, spent 3 years on Inspector Instructor Duty training reserves. Three years at MCSC, Barstow, Ca. Clothing cash sales, then went to D.I. School. Trained recruits for 7 years at MCRD, San Diego.

As you can see, as a Supply man, you can serve just about anywhere there are Marines.

Wow, what a career you've had! My son is learining just how far-reaching the supply MOS really is. He wanted Infantry(seems everyone does these days) but is VERY happy with how things have evolved for him....wouldn't have it any other way.

Tell your son I said to just keep stacking those skivies.(inside joke)

Will do

[SonNguyen]

this is exactly my problem right now, except that it's opposite, I am 17 and I trying to convince my parents.
I read your post and understand the whole thing, because that exactly what is happening in my family. The first time when I told my parents, they were just listen and making comments and point out their opinions and told me "You have to take this seriously and take full responsible for your decision, for this is not what we want to or ever encourage you to do". And I say "Yes, I understand and take full responsible for my own decision". Then my parents were like "Ok, we let you go"
So I was like ..... happy, you know. But then, 2 days later, out of nowhere, my step dad was like turn very serious and talk really fast (I didn't even have a change to realize what is going on!), he said "Listen, me and your mom talk about this and decide that you will have to go to college for 1 year first and then if you still want to go we will let you go! I know that this July you will be 18 and you can sign for yourself but Listen, I don't want to talk about this anymore until you finish your first year of college, Ok? Ok? Ok!" I was like "WAIT! WHAT?" and then he go play tennis!
I was so mad and confusing, I mean, why did they have to do that? Agreed for me to go and then said No? it's like a punch in the face!
So I haven't talk to them about this for 4 months already, but I am thinking about bringing back the subject, because there are couple of reason:
1. 1 year of college? I mean, really? I rather join the Corps right after high school, or go to college full time, and that is not my option, so that 1 year is just going to be a waste of time and money! (I wouldn't even try because how can I do good on something that I don't like???)
2. I need to join this summer and go to MEPS ASAP! Why? Because I may have glaucoma (it's a D.Q!), it's an eye disease and could lead to blindness. The doc didn't diagnosed me with glaucoma yet, he just say he really think that I need to go to a specialist to make sure, I did researching and ask many veterans/recruiters/doctor, most of them said it's depend on how servere it is, and if I join the Corps before I get diagnosed I may get it fix while in the Marines. I don't know about this, so I really want to go to MEPS and have them take a look at my eye (only the left one, they right eye is fine), and if I get diagnosed there by the MEPS docs, then, well.....

so what do you think? what should I do?

[Old Marine]

After reading your post, I suggest that you should go to college for one year and take just english courses.

[SonNguyen]

I know my English is not good, I immigrated to the U.S just about 2 years ago from Vietnam,there is still a lot of things for me to learn, and I will keep an open mind, thank you for your suggestion though

[USNAviator]

No where in your post did you give a reason for wanting to join the Corps other than having a possible glaucoma condition treated while your serving.

Let me get this correct, you may have glaucoma? Have you mentioned this to a recruiter? If so what did he say to do? If you didn't talk this over with a recruiter and somehow get past the doctors at Meps and your condition worsens ,you cold be charged with fraudulent enlistment. But I'll leave that up to some of the recruiters on here to correct me

I understand there are cultural differences at work here but I'm going to remind you when you turn 18, you can do what you want to do.

[MarineDAD92]

My advice is to respect your parents wishes for now. There is likely a good reason they have changed thier opinion.

Becoming a US Marine is a priviledge for those who are called by a sense of duty and posess the physical and mental capabilities. A college education in the U.S. is an opportunity that you should be grateful for and take advantage of while you can.

Just my .03 (adjusted for COL)

[SonNguyen]

@USNAviator: the reason I want to join the USMC is because even though I just came to the U.S not for long, but this great nation giving me so many things and I feel that I need to give some, I know I'll never be able to pay everything, but by serving as a U.S Marine, I know that at least I am doing something for the new country that I love. The day I left Vietnam, I left everything behind me, because to me, this is where I start my new life, it's like a rebirth.
I am not joining the Marines because of the pay check or medical care or whatever, even if the Congress decide not to pay a cent, I still joining if I qualify for the Corps. I made up my mind, that if I have diagnosed with glaucoma, I won't waste my time or the recruiter time, then I'll have to serve America some other ways. Because I know if I join any military services with a bad health, it's not just me, but everyone in my team will have to take care of me, I understand the situation and thus I can't risk American lives and missions just for some selfish thoughts.
I love the U.S.A and the Marine Corps with all my heart, and it is the truth.
@MarineDAD: thank you sir, I think it's a good idea to not bring the subject back right now since I still need to finish my senior year of H.S, and I'll have a specialist take a look at my eye, then I'll talk to my parents. And if I am D.Q, then I'll go to college, and firgure something out

[USNAviator]

Do you know what the pressure is in your bad eye? Is it greater than 21mm?

Current or history of glaucoma (365), including, but not limited to primary, secondary, or pre-glaucoma as evidenced by intraocular pressure above 21 millimeters of mercury (mmHg), or changes in the optic disc or visual field loss associated with glaucoma, is disqualifying.

[SonNguyen]

no sir, unfortunately I do not. After the examine then I went home and did the research and found out about the eye pressure, I called back to the doc but it wasn't his real office so he wasn't there.