How can I make my futue spouse feel more comfortable overall..

[casualdecay]

Ok first i want to say I am not a Marine but a poolee..I plan on marrying my girlfriend before I go to boot camp. I have heard from various sources that it will benefit both she and I if we get the marriage stuff taken care before I leave to boot camp. Anyhow I was wondering how I could help make her feel more comfortable over all into transitioning form the civilian lifestyle to life as a military spouse. I want to make things more comfortable for her overall while im in the Marines. From boot camp to school of infantry and MOS school to deployments. I really appreciate all the answers I get thank you.

[fastback190]

i noyt going to tell what to do, but ask your recuiter if your are aloud, about month ago a poolee was on hear saying he got married before going to boot camp and they stop his enlistment, might be easier after to boot camp, it seems to me USMC has change alot since i was in back eariy 90s.

[Lisa 23]

Yes, talk with your recruter. If you do get married before you leave for boot camp, he has to do all of your paperwork over.
Overall, it's best to wait until you're in the Marines a few years to get married.

[DobbinsBlythe]

When you DO get married, just make sure you have your stuff in order. You need to know the processes of PCSing with a dependent, get her squared away in DEERS and Tricare, enroll her in dental, all of that stuff..

Make sure she knows what you're doing and keep her in the loop. I know too many Marines who keep their wives in the dark (for whatever reason) and it usually 1. makes them feel stupid, 2. creates a divide in their marriage, or 3. leaves them without the resources they need (or the knowledge of those resources) during deployment--usually resulting in MANY FIGHTS or divorce.

Even though she's not the one who's going to go through boot camp and MOS school and all of that, she's going to be as attached to the Marine Corps as you--if she's dedicated to you. She will have to learn that the needs of the Corps come before her needs. YOU are going to need to find a balance between Corps life and home life. It's rough and as long as you always remember to rub her feet and remind her how much you appreciate her, you will probably have a happy marriage

Definitely talk to a pastor, preacher, or whoever you trust together before you get married--I'd suggest a military chaplain if at all possible, to prepare you two for the life ahead. It's a very intense life. While she may not be a Marine, she will hardly be a civilian.

The biggest thing you can do to make her life easier is BE PREPARED and BE A GOOD MARINE.

Once you're married, you don't live for just you anymore. Everything you do should be for the betterment of your lives together. The Marine Corps and the accomplishments you make in it can definitely add to that experience.

Good luck with everything!!!

[TinDragon]

My first thought when I read the thread title posted in a Marine Corps forum was "Don't get married." Haha.

[DobbinsBlythe]

LOL!!! TinDragon, you know that for a lot of people, that would be the best answer.

[scubadiveFWB]

i am a poolee as well. i am engaged at a young age and already are having difficulties. the closer i get to leaving for bootcamp the more we fight. i was told by my recruiter to wait till i get stationed in the fleet so i can finish the paperwork properly and talk with a lwayer about living will bank accounts etc. i know it will be very hard for the both of us but it will either make or break the relationship.

[Rocky C]

Buy her Clothes and Jewelry.
That will make her more Comfortable

[redman1]

If the Marines wanted you to have a wife they would issue you one.
That's what I heard when I was in boot camp
Life is hard enough as it is but its really hard on a young married couple
We made it but hard times and no money to spare
We also made it 17 years before divorce
Semper Fi Redman

[Wyoming]

Send me her phone number, by PM of course, and I will arrange a conference call with her, me, Fist, Rocky, Slinger, Buddy, Redman, and most of the Gunnys, among others, and I'll even kick in an Occifer or two.

We will do all we can to make her comfortable while you are at boot, in the fleet, or deployed, while in the Marines.

[TinDragon]

Send me her phone number, by PM of course, and I will arrange a conference call with her, me, Fist, Rocky, Slinger, Buddy, Redman, and most of the Gunnys, among others, and I'll even kick in an Occifer or two.

We will do all we can to make her comfortable while you are at boot, in the fleet, or deployed, while in the Marines.

As will your best friend, your other best friend, your roommate, your neighbor, and that random guy you talked to at the bar last night.

[tdrt]

never Get Married Before You're 30!!!

[redman1]

OOH RAH!!!! We had a young Marine in Boot Camp go awall because someone wrote him that his wife was messing around.
All the DI's always said they were screwing my wife
If he marries before Boot Camp he will be in for some ****
Thanks Big A for adding me to the list hope she looks good
Semper Fi Redman