Child support

[ameriken]

Well the response by a couple of you honestly gives me little faith on the actual intelligence of some marines...at no point did i say i never wanted to support my child, so theres no reason for me to man up, or stop being a dead beat.

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I already pay part of her bills and buy him what he needs, toiletries, food, clothes, toys, etc...Im trying to avoid the state getting involved and taking most my income to the point where i pay her rent, her bar tab, and her wardrobe allowance also.

yes, his mother and family will watch him while Im at recruit training.

now to the marines whom may actually understand what Im saying, feel free to respond accordingly.

Well the question posted in this thread honestly gives me little faith in the actual intelligence and integrity of some civilians.

We fully understand what you're saying. You're saying that you dont agree with Iowa child support laws, you have a scheme to get you out of your legal obligation to your child, and you want to know if it is ok to continue dodging the law. (Maybe Iowa law says that only the other dads in Iowa must follow it)?

The bottom line is Commdogs advice was very sound, and anyone with even an ounce of intelligence would follow it. Child support is the law, so man up, show some backbone and integrity and follow the law. It protects you and it protects your child.

As for the child support tables being high, well there's a lot of men who want to be single and free while leaving their ex with all the work, obligations and sacrifice of raising their kid. I am sure these men selfishly think that as long as they're paying for some food and diapers, that their ex's should do all the hard work for free and without complaint. Maybe the states are allowing these hardworking moms a few extra bucks in exchange for all that work. So dont whine if she spends it on her bar tab or wardrobe. She's making all the sacrifice so you dont have to, and I'm sure you'll happily pay a few extra bucks in exchange for all the work she's doing to raise your child.

[Zulu 36]

Honestly, some people.

OK, I am going to reiterate some things I've said. First, lets have a little background. I am divorced. Personally, I have custody of one of my kids, the ex has the other (the third is an adult). The court has said we're even in the child support department. But, that is me. The ex still gets half of both my pensions.

As a retired military man and retired police officer, I have seen dozens of friends get divorced or have kids out of wedlock. I've seen the child support travails they've gone through. I've been in court many times watching child support matters being argued and adjudicated. Further, I've arrested dozens of people (almost all men) for child support warrants and got to hear their tales of woe. Believe it or not, I read Michigan and Florida Court of Appeals decisions, which include child support cases. I know how these things run and it generally is not good for the fathers.

Paying child support "off the books," as you have been doing is nice and a responsible thing, but the courts rarely recognize it later when the custodial parent goes to court to put it on the books. You end up paying past-due child support from day one of the kids birth if the mother lies through her teeth because her lawyer told her how much more money she can get that way. Don't think lawyers (and women) won't do that. Don't be that naive.

"But, I already paid money." says you. "Prove it," says the judge. If you can and the judge accepts it, lucky you. Otherwise, you're stuck. How much have you paid the mother by check that says "Child Support for "month/year" on the comment line? Or was it in cash? Checks with good info on the comment line = proof. Cash = a gift (or receipt is flatly denied).

Get a paternity test. Make sure the kid is yours 100% Don't assume it is. Don't trust her word - your finances for the next 18-years are at risk. You would be surprised how many guys pay support for kids that are not theirs ("But she never cheated on me!" Bull crap).

Get a lawyer. If the kid isn't yours, let him tell her, "Sorry, but you're done with the support from my client, go hit up the real dad." A good DNA paternity test proving you aren't the real father = really good proof, but only before a judge orders support.

If the kid is yours, see if your lawyer can strike a formal, legal agreement with the mother for a set amount of monthly child support. Most states allow these agreements which may not follow the child support calculation tables. However, a judge still has to agree, so the amount has to be pretty reasonably close. If she will agree to a fixed amount, forever, so much the better for you.

Agree to pay it through the state agency that handles child support as it is much harder for the mother to argue later you've missed payments since you don't directly pay her. Use an allotment to make the payments so you're never tempted to skip a payment to buy a TV or some stupid thing (most states now require direct payments anyway).

If she (or the judge) refuses to agree to a permanent fixed amount, you're stuck with the state calculation tables, and she can return to court periodically for support review as your income increases. Hope like hell you can prove you paid support from the child's birth until the judge rules otherwise you start in a hole. Of course, if your income decreases (or hers significantly increases over yours - like if she hits the lotto or marries a millionaire), you too can go to court for a review.

Another tip from your Uncle Zulu: Watch what you say to and about Marines. We have no problems ripping your face off for an insult, real or imagined.

[commdog7]

Well the question posted in this thread honestly gives me little faith in the actual intelligence and integrity of some civilians.

What is it with civilians these days? Just when you think you are speaking to a man, you find out you are speaking to a child. When the answer we give them isn't what they were hoping for, they think we must be the stupid ones. Common sense isn't always common. 'Will the Marine Corps look the other way and allow me to continue to break the law?' No. I must lack intelligence for giving him a 'no' answer, since he was obviously looking for a 'yes'. It doesn't matter that I am a few months away from my bachelor's degree, I must really be stupid because that's what Marines are, right?

Wow....

[commdog7]

Ill reiterate what i said, and or those who dont know that word, means ill repeat what i said.....

I know what reiterate means, but let me ask you this, do you know what 'breaking the law' means? Obviously you don't.

[Zulu 36]

What is it with civilians these days? Just when you think you are speaking to a man, you find out you are speaking to a child. When the answer we give them isn't what they were hoping for, they think we must be the stupid ones. Common sense isn't always common. 'Will the Marine Corps look the other way and allow me to continue to break the law?' No. I must lack intelligence for giving him a 'no' answer, since he was obviously looking for a 'yes'. It doesn't matter that I am a few months away from my bachelor's degree, I must really be stupid because that's what Marines are, right?

Wow....

Don't feel bad CD7. I've got two masters degrees from colleges, plus a PhD from the university of the street, and some of these kids think I'm an idiot too. I think they look at the avatar rank and figure we must be dummies or we'd never "just" be Sergeants, or PFCs, or something.

Something else I don't think they notice: There are some Marines here who don't even have high school diplomas and who are still some of the smartest people on this site. I often wish I could have their wisdom.

[flatblack92xj]

Well obviously i missed alot...

Zulu...you by far have actually answered my question and i feel more informed by reading that.

Anybody thats responded to me with "attitude" please post back and let us all know if you've actually gone through the child support steps, or if you are just speaking as a parent who is still with the childs mother.

Again, i feel a few of you dont understand what i am saying. I pay for my son, i raise my son, i have him half the time, she has him half the time.

After that last part, answer me this....Why should i have to pay her 1/4 of my income when i do just as much work, and pay just as much(if not more) for my son?

And i meant no disrespect to any Marine, i just dont accept any forms of stupidity, unitelligence, ignorance with out reason, and inability to read.

[Lisa 23]

Another tip from your Uncle Zulu: Watch what you say to and about Marines. We have no problems ripping your face off for an insult, real or imagined.

I'd take this advice from Uncle Zulu if I were you.
You mess with one Marine, you mess with us all.


Obviously, you don't like the advice that has been given to you by the Marines here, so my advice to you is if you want to know anything more about the arrangements that you have with your childs mother on how you are supporting him without involving the state where you live, you should talk to a recruiter.

[Zulu 36]

Well obviously i missed alot...

Zulu...you by far have actually answered my question and i feel more informed by reading that.

Anybody thats responded to me with "attitude" please post back and let us all know if you've actually gone through the child support steps, or if you are just speaking as a parent who is still with the childs mother.

Again, i feel a few of you dont understand what i am saying. I pay for my son, i raise my son, i have him half the time, she has him half the time.

After that last part, answer me this....Why should i have to pay her 1/4 of my income when i do just as much work, and pay just as much(if not more) for my son?

And i meant no disrespect to any Marine, i just dont accept any forms of stupidity, unitelligence, ignorance with out reason, and inability to read.

Lets put it this way, if a judge says you will pay $X per month, you will. If you are in the military (not just the Corps), you WILL be paying to the penny. If you are a civilian, eventually you WILL pay, either in cash or freedom (or both). As any family court judge will happily tell you, child support is for the benefit of the child, not the custodial parent.

Why do I have to pay my ex $2,000 per month from my pensions when I'm the one with the scars on my body and mind? Because the law and a judge says so. Fair to me? Nope. But such is life. The ex thinks its just peachy. I'd rather pay her child support for my son, it would be much cheaper.

You are being disrespectful when you equate stupidity, unintelligence, and ignorance with the Marines on this forum. Some of these guys can out-think you with half a bottle of Jack Daniels in their system. I do not exaggerate.

Try playing Mr. Offended in the Marine Corps and see what happens to you. It will really suck having only $25 per payday for health and hygiene items after the CO takes the rest (except for your child support payments) for a few months, plus a stripe, and maybe 30-days in the brig. I have seen this happen more than once.

Snotty attitudes are not tolerated in the Marine Corps no matter how justified you think you are. The Corps does not much care how offended you are as long as you keep it to yourself, otherwise the lessons are most painful.

Now, drop the subject and go do as you've been advised.

[Phantom Blooper]

Give it up and cry UNCLE!

[flatblack92xj]

im going to drop this now, and maybe delete it, but last question.

When was i offended?

As for the half bottle of jack, i fortunately have the privilage of sobriety, so alchoholic references are not the best for me.

[Lisa 23]

Young man, your questions have been asked an answered, just let it go already.

[NoRemorse]

...you are being disrespectful when you equate stupidity, unintelligence, and ignorance with the Marines on this forum. Some of these guys can out-think you with half a bottle of Jack Daniels in their system. I do not exaggerate. ...

You're shortchanging some of these Marines. I do believe I've seen them do it with a whole bottle in their system and "a few beers so I'm not on an empty stomach".

[Zulu 36]

Young man, your questions have been asked an answered, just let it go already.

He's like a typical teenager. Has to have the last word even if it means a slap in the suck.

[Phantom Blooper]

You're shortchanging some of these Marines. I do believe I've seen them do it with a whole bottle in their system and "a few beers so I'm not on an empty stomach".

Don't forget the HAPPY PILLS!

[DADDYMAC34]

This is not true, anyone that spent some real time in Corps knows, some Marines need an ass beating......

[quote=WMarine;588951]You mess with one Marine, you mess with us all.