I need some advice for my son...

[RockingRobin69]

My son is between a rock & a hard place. I'll do my best to abbreviate the story as much as possible. He's a young marine. Finished boot & also AIT & was sent to Ft Leonardwood for MOS training. Was sent home on convalesence leave as he broke his foot. He has a daughter from a previous girlfriend, who one night while he was home, went out & broke many laws & was thrown into jail. Because there was children involved, Colorado Social Services stepped in, removed his daughter from the home & the court awarded him temporary custody. I'll also add, that at this time, they plan on recommending to the court that my son is awarded permanent custody. He is back at Leonardwood, foot is healed. Living in a motel with his daughter. Social worker has flown out & performed a well being check on my grand daughter & has even met with the 1stSgt. as he had some doubts about the validity to my son's situation. It seems that no one down there can make a decision as to what to do with him. According to them, he cannot go to MOS training because that requires him living in the barracks. Obviously, that will not work. They suggested OJT training but that was shot down by someone higher up. Everyone he talks to, quotes "no single marines w/children in the corps". For the time being, he goes to the units's office every morning & basically does nothing. They won't even allow him to go on work details & be with fellow Marines. Supposedly, a packet has been sent to HQ Marine Corps for someone to make a decision at that level as they will not or don't know what to do down there. They have figured out a way for him to draw BAQ to help with the motel & his daughter goes to daycare that a Sgt. referred him to go see. Is there anyone that has has been involved in this type of situation or anyone in a command position that can suggest what he should do? He loves the corps but his daughter must come first. Thank you for your time.

Robin...

[irizavrima]

What is your desired endstate? Something sounds extremely wrong here, I believe he should be receiving basically allowance for housing because of his dependent situation. This 1st Sergeant sounds like a real joke...I could not imagine a command that would allow this to go on. This is definately a request mast issue. If this daughter is legally a dependent, then he is entitled to $$ to support his daughter.

[kentmitchell]

If request mast doesn't work, he might have to see the IG. Won't make any points in his unit, but it looks like his unit has written him off . . . Semper FU
It's time for him to take care of himself since the Corps won't. I hate it when I see stuff like this.

[irizavrima]

Tell him to request mast with the CO before an inspector general. People start to do their jobs when paperwork gets involved. I am pretty sure living in the barracks isn't as important as your grandaughter.

[RockingRobin69]

It's not my endstate that is of concern. I believe that my son would like to continue being in the corps with his daughter but they are telling him that it is not allowed. The child needs to be elsewhere. Colorado is saying just the opposite. The daughter must be with him. As to the 1stSgt. Hes on board with the situation now but no clue how to solve it. As to her being his daughter? I believe he is still being garnished from his pay to the mother. It takes time to put a stop to it. I appreciate your questions, but the most important thing right now is for my son to remain in the corps with his daughter. Is this possible? Do they discharge WM's when they get a divorce? If not, whats the difference? Thanks.

Robin...

[Drafter]

Yeah the situation sucks, but here you have the ramifications of making poor choices. Now he has to make some more important choices. He needs to fulfill his obligations as a parent and to the USMC. Sounds like he needs some family to step up and help him out.

Why is it incumbant of the USMC to solve his personal problems? His unit didn't let him down, he made a committment that he can't fulfill. Maybe he should seek a discharge and take care of his personal responsibilites, maybe grandma should step up and talk to Colorado about taking custody.

Sounds like a pretty complicated matter but it sure the hell is not the USMC's problem to figure out. He needs to get his situation squared away his daughter is depending on it.

I have no sympathy for this kinda crap, he made the baby with a woman who is obviously an unfit mother, take care of it!

[irizavrima]

I had to really sit here and think about this one. It is quite possible that he would be eligible for a hardship discharge, but that's not a good idea. The Marine Corps IS reponsible for supporting this child because it is his dependent. He needs to get officers involved in this one. A First Sergeant has no right to tell a junior Marine to go find a place for his kid. Sounds like he just doesn't know how to deal with this and that it needs to go higher. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY A REQUEST MAST ISSUE...there is NO WAY around this!!!

[Rocky C]

Contact your Congressman Robin. He also sits on the Veterans Affairs Committee.
Worth the shot.
Here is the link to contact him.

Good Luck.
Rocky

http://markudall.senate.gov/

[Drafter]

I had to really sit here and think about this one. It is quite possible that he would be eligible for a hardship discharge, but that's not a good idea. The Marine Corps IS reponsible for supporting this child because it is his dependent. He needs to get officers involved in this one. A First Sergeant has no right to tell a junior Marine to go find a place for his kid. Sounds like he just doesn't know how to deal with this and that it needs to go higher. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY A REQUEST MAST ISSUE...there is NO WAY around this!!!

But it is not responsible for the care of said child, the parent is responsible for that! In no way shape or form is the United States Military responsible for the care of Dependants. What if he gets deployed, what then?

[Petz]

or, here's a better idea.... you be the childs legal guardian and your son go train.... then after getting to his ACTUAL unit he can do what he needs to do.

the problem is that he's still in training status... the 1stSgt can't do much as his hands are tied.

so... find out about making that happen and leave the congressman out of it until it's absolutely necessary.

[Petz]

I had to really sit here and think about this one. It is quite possible that he would be eligible for a hardship discharge, but that's not a good idea. The Marine Corps IS reponsible for supporting this child because it is his dependent. He needs to get officers involved in this one. A First Sergeant has no right to tell a junior Marine to go find a place for his kid. Sounds like he just doesn't know how to deal with this and that it needs to go higher. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY A REQUEST MAST ISSUE...there is NO WAY around this!!!

the Marine in question is still in training status.... there are rules in place for a reason.

if he was married he wouldn't have his kid or wife there.... 'cause he's there to train.

stop talking trash about his command when you have no idea why they are saying it for. Stop being a barracks lawyer.

[RockingRobin69]

Drafter,

I understand your judgement, but that is not what I was asking for. I was hoping to find a high ranking NCO or Officer who has been exposed to this type of situation in the past & can offer some guidance how my son can remain in the corps & have his daughter as well.

He has not been in the F.M.F. He is still considered in training & no one at the battalion school level seems to know what to do. Can't train him because there is the barracks requirement. Can't let him live off base for school with his daughter because that breaks MC regs. but we can let him live off base while we try to figure it out? I can see the answer, but maybe others do not. Thanks for your time & interest.

Robin...

[irizavrima]

I am more curious as to what his intentions are after school. How is he supposed to take care of his daughter and have a full time career? What happens in school is one thing, however this is going to be a disaster when he hits the fleet.

[Petz]

nooo... I know plenty of Marines who are single parents.

lots of double Marine families deal with one or both deploying... it's not impossible.

the command will make things flexible for him.

[irizavrima]

My Gunny who was our chief at the time deployed with our unit as a single parent. His daughter was having some issues so he spent about a whole month in country before he was shipped back.