Son's Return

[TMann]

In several weeks my son is set to return from his first deployment to Iraq. We plan to be at Camp Lejeune for his return. For those that have been there before for such an event, what are they like? I know there will be some changes in him....to what extent I don't know. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

Regards, T-Mann

[jack246]

Hi TMANN , JUst like i wrote in my X-mass Card, stitches from wrestling baby bulls 250 , personal parachute 1200 , coming home from IRAQ , PRICELESS!!! congradulate him for me for a job well done ! It will be great to have him back.

[sgt03gunr]

You will see a change but he will still be happy to be home. I agree with Jack...Tell him he did a Great job and WE ARE ALL PROUD. Semper Fi.

Sgt "A"
http://e-5graffix.1freecart.com/

[sgt tony]

Yes thank him from the TOP of the World WELCOME HOME and have one one me

[TMann]

Many thanks to all of you. Still waiting for the exact date but we are now only days away.

[ScottsMom]

Welcome home to your son! May he enjoy some well deserved R&R.

[SGT7477]

Welcome that jarhead home with open arms, job well done Marine, Semper FI.

[MrsNix]

It will take him some time to adjust to being home. Depending on how often you were able to correspond and how frequently he was able to reconnect, in some way, with his home life...coupled with what he actually experienced while gone...the adjustment period could be a few days or a few months. Every Marine and every deployment is different.

Do NOT fill his schedule with parties. Do NOT invite the entire extended family to a loud and congratulatory barbecue on his first day home unless he specifically asks you to. Ask him if HE wants such an event. If he does, let HIM tell you when he'd like to have it...and do not press him for a date to be named.

Handle his other relations for him. Do not make him field 20 phone calls. They are all grownups. They can handle being told that "Johnny" needs a few days to decompress, and he will be calling relatives soon. If they want to get all butthurt about not being the center of your son's attention, please handle that for him. Don't lay guilt on a man who is trying to readjust.

Don't allow friends and family to demand that he come visit THEM. He's been deployed in the service of his country. They can come visit HIM.

Give him some quiet time to be alone and charge his batteries. Let HIM guide your schedule. Don't assume that a few days or weeks of "quieter than usual" equates to a serious bout of PTSD. It doesn't. It's a readjustment that will melt away as he gets warmed back up and familiar with his home environment.

Most importantly...don't treat him like a delicate teacup that might break. Men hate that. Talk to him and behave toward him in whatever way feels natural.

Finally...hug your boy and tell him how much you love him and how glad you are that he's home. Then FEED him.

[marinemama]

Welcome home to your son! I hope you are enjoying your time with him! Please give him a HUGE thank you from me, as well.

Mrs Nix....awesome post! Even before my son's joined the Marine Corps, they always counted on me to take care of schedules for them....even when they are home on leave, they know I keep them protected from all the crap, because everyone always wants a hunk of them....they come home to be home and enjoy chiilin. I so appreciate all the words you so eloquently typed. Thanks!

[MrsNix]

Back when my husband was a Corporal, I became the "den mother" so to speak. There was just hardly ever a night when we didn't have at least one single marine flopped on our couch for the night or two or three of them hanging out in my kitchen.

I'm a good chunk of years older than the average wife I run into with a husband in the same stage of career as mine. Back then, I was 28 dealing with young between 17-20. So...I felt like sort of a mother to these big floppy teenage boys, and I watched their families and girlfriends and such make huge mistakes when they came home from being deployed. I get protective of the "babies," if you know what I mean.

[jack246]

Hi again TMANN, just to clarify my response on 20 feb. My quote was in regards to my son Josh who returned before X-mas.You probably figured that out,but I wanted to make sure.Also to expand on mrsNix response alittle.She brings some valid points to think about.I would like to add that if your son is of drinking age,or even drinks at all,to please be careful and have a designated driver should he go out on the town with friends.I am not trying to sound like a " funhater ", I am just to familiar with how fast a serious car crash can spoil a homecoming or party! I suppose 24 years of being in law enforcement and hundreds of accidents urges me to write this as a reminder to simply be careful each time he goes out. Sincerely, Jack246

[marinemom]

Good post Mrs. Nix - and good advice. Couple of other things that you can expect when they come in - as I learned from my hisband in his time and my son now -

1. Make sure the water bill is paid - and that the hot water heater has been checked for extreme usage. Showers in the sand box were not long and not hot. I think that tigger came out when he realized that he looked like a 6'6" prune after about 20 minutes.

2. The odds are that the unit probably made some dvds of their more "interesting" activities - when shown, do not freak - I still remember the one that had a roof going out of the top of the screen as the house collasped into the sand.

3. Mrs. Nix was right on the money about his time - but the first 24-36 hours may result in a large lump under the covers. Dpn't worry, he is breathing - he's just enjoying a real bed.

4. Yes, get his favorite foods in - he has been on a semi-limited diet and will relish the "extras" - just do not keep asking him if he is hungry or wants anything. Let the emptying refrigerstor be your guide.

And last, just enjoy the time - let him decide what to do and when - have a great visit!

[TMann]

Thanks again for all of your comments. We went to Camp Lejeune for his return. It was great to see him again. It did take him several days to get use to driving again....we did have several instinctive breaking of the car as he approached items on the side of the road. As he said, old habits die hard.

Regards, T-Mann

[KawiGunny]

Glad to see your Marine is home. I don't know what his MOS is or what he did over there, but he should adjust fine. Freedom is hard to adapt to at first but he will grasp it soon enough. If he wants to talk about his experiences (especially the bad ones) he will. If not, so be it. If he needs anyone to talk to, he is more than welcome to hit-up any of us on here. Everyone deals with their experiences differently.

Welcome him home for me.

[MotoDad]

In several weeks my son is set to return from his first deployment to Iraq. We plan to be at Camp Lejeune for his return. For those that have been there before for such an event, what are they like? I know there will be some changes in him....to what extent I don't know. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

Regards, T-Mann

I know this is an "old" thread and I've read all the posts.....great comments and advice.....

However, I would imagine that much of "how" it will feel when he gets back from deployment.....or what family/friends should "expect" in his behavior or "mood"......depends on whether he actually saw combat, death or killing when deployed.....

Depending on their MOS, I've heard guys say they were "bored out of their skulls" while in the sandbox......alternatively, if he is a grunt or in recon, he may have been involved in several heavy-duty fire-fights and killed insurgents and/or seen buddies of his killed or severely wounded....

So my best answer to the original poster's question of "What should I expect when he gets home from deployment?:

It all depends on what he personally experienced over there.....

I would appreciate any Marine's opinion on this, as well.....

MotoDad out