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  1. #1

    Wink A Saturday Question

    A Saturday Question
    Posted By Laughing_Wolf

    After work and such this week, I'm a bit fried. Rather than go for serious this morning, I thought I would share a short tale and see if any of you would care to share you worst/funniest/etc. field culinary experience for a laugh.

    In my case, I was not the one who did it -- honest. In any group or team, civilian or military, there are people that you rapidly determine just are not the best choice for certain jobs. Yet, dictates are that sometimes the job, like cooking, has to rotate so that everyone has a turn. No matter how unsuited they were for the task.

    Years back, when the crust had barely cooled and dinosaurs walked the Earth, meals were not always for the individual and ready to eat. Breakfast was almost always a group affair, and we had quickly learned who did what the best and adjusted the schedule so that they had the duty at the appropriate time. It also meant that the least culinarily inclined, such as "M" as I shall call him, had the easiest times.

    Well, we thought it would be hard for M to mess up. However, none of us ever expected him to mistake cups of water for quarts of water when making pancakes from mix. Yep, instead of cups of water he put in quarts of water. We all stared, glared, and hit our carefully horded supplies of bait and dumped in packs of oatmeal and anything else we had that might bulk it up enough to be cooked in the time available. No go. We drank what we could of the uncooked concoction, sucked it up, and moved on.

    We did laugh about it fairly quickly, though I am sure that M was glad to see that day end. We razzed him about it for quite a while though. Guess we still are in a way.

    So, any of you care to share?

    LW

    Ellie


  2. #2
    Marine Free Member sparkie's Avatar
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    Like that story. I only had 1 little personal fiasco. Making c-rat coffee in a canteen cup. Made a little fire and got it heated, but when I poured in the powder, I had nothing to stir it with. I picked up a stick from the jungle floor and used that.. Damn strangest coffee I EVER tasted. Bitter and BAD. of course I drank it anyway ;] Wonder what it was?


  3. #3
    Hard lessons learned

    Over the years I have learned from trials and errors how to make a somewhat edible meal and other little details about preparing food in general.
    No matter how strong you are, you quickly find out that even the mightiest of Marines can not open many jars easily.

    Marines tries to open jar. Marine grunts and cusses at jar. Wife giggles. Marine is now on a mission. Marine sets jar on the counter and heads to the garage for a tool. Wife grins. As Marine walks back in to the kitchen with tools in hand, Marine sees wife with open jar. Marine sighs and takes tools back to garage.

    Wife explains to Marine that she just taps the lid of jar with a spoon then opens it. Marine makes mental note,. , .”beat jar to open it”.

    One day smart**s Marine wife is not home and Marine needs a sandwich but has to open a new jar to make it. Marine grunts and cusses and finally decides to get tools to open the jar. As Marine walks back in to kitchen he remembers ,. “beat jar to open it”. Marine looks around to make sure nobody is looking,. , Marine sets down tools and grabs a big spoon out of door. Marine hits jar, Jar breaks, Marine grunts and cusses while he cleans up the mess. Marine drives to McDonalds.

    ********************************************

    Dont put metal into the microwave. I also now know that foil is also considered “Metal” so don’t put foil in the microwave “again“.

    Stuff that comes out of microwave is HOT and I mean ##### HOT! don’t do that again.

    Adding spices to wife’s cooking normally results in getting hand smacked with wooden spoon. Smart Marine, hides wooden spoons when wife was not looking, Marine then waits for wife to be looking and adds hot sauce to chili, wife reaches for wooden spoon, Marine giggles, Wife gets the “oh yeah” look in her eyes and grabs big metal thing out of door. ,. , .Marine not add stuff to wife’s cooking anymore.

    ********************************************

    Wife asks Marine how he will eat when she is gone someday. Marine says,. Will get a new wife. Wife says but how will you eat for the many years it takes you to get a new wife,. Marine gets funny look and says ,. “Years”? Marine now walks with a limp but knows he is expected to mourn a while when he looses wife and has agreed to learn how to cook a few things.

    Simper Fi


  4. #4
    From Mark's(Fontman) personal website

    THE CHARLIE RATION COOKBOOK OR HOW TO EAT WELL IN A FOXHOLE


    During the Vietnam war Brig. Gen. Walter S. McIlhenny, U.S. Marine Corps, son of the 2nd company president of McIlhenny Company from his experiences with C-Rations as a Marine during WWII came up with the idea to send soldiers copies of the Charley Ration Cookbook filled with recipes for spicing up C-rations with Tabasco Pepper Sauce wrapped around two-ounce bottles of Tabasco Pepper Sauce along with a handful of a P-38 type can openers all in a waterproof canister. What follows will be a copy of the cookbook.

    http://www.thefontman.com/crat_cookbook.html

    Ellie


  5. #5
    Marine Free Member sparkie's Avatar
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    Funny, I just remembered.. Our first apartment in o'side while I was stationed at Pendleton. Food budget was very tight, $25.00 every 2 weeks at the commissary for normal food and $5.00 for "meat".

    One day my wife was making spagettie sauce and of course she used what we had. She found a bowl saran wrapped in the frige that looked like left over cooked hamburger, so she threw it in.. Much later, I asked her where that left over cat food went? The spagettie tasted just fine.


  6. #6
    Marine Free Member sparkie's Avatar
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    Remember those c-rat rumors? "Don't eat the cheese, it will plug you up". "Don't touch the crackers, they put salt peter in them".


  7. #7
    Today I understand that MRE’s have a neat little heating gizmo in them. When I was in the Corps we had about ten different MRE’s available. I found that you could warm a meal up by setting it on top of the radiator overflow in a hummers engine compartment. There was a nice little notch there so you didn’t have to worry about it falling out going down the road. Thirty to forty five minutes and you have a nice hot meal.

    I carried a lot of little items to make life a little more tolerable out in the field. In my asspack I had a roll of nice toilet patter wrapped in a few zip lock baggies. A sterno fuel can to heat up stuff with, a small canister of instant coffee, a travel pack with salt, pepper and of course a nice big bottle of hot sauce. I would carry a few cans of those little hotdogs and even some sardines or oysters to add in to meals. One of the best items I carried was a small one cup stainless steel coffee thermos. I rally miss that little thermos today. I could fill it up the morning that we left and have a hot cup of coffee 24 hours latter. It was the best thermos I ever had.

    I never had a lot of garrison time, I remember being in the field or on a ship a lot back then so I learned early on how to make it with what ever was available. I was quite the little packrat in those days. It doesn’t take going hungry to many times and you learn how to make your rations last and how to add to them.

    I remember that when we would go to a survival training course that many in my unit would loose a lot of weight but I was almost always the one that lost the least weight but I was also the one that would add bugs and worms in to my food all of the time while we were out there. It sounds yucky but most would have paid for a bug or worm eat near the end of those courses LOL.

    Most that have ever served in the military have one thing in common and that is hardly any of us are picky eaters. I am sure we would all agree that if you’re a picky eater in boot camp your going to starve to death. I think we first learn survival while in boot camp chow halls. You learn to eat anything they are willing to toss on to your trey and do so very quickly. There is really no need for knifes or forks just grab a big spoon and start shoveling it in LOL. Ahh the good ole days.

    As I am writing this my survival instinct is kicking in so I will cut this short and log off so I can order a pizza.

    Simper Fi


  8. #8


    Here is some miscellaneous information from around the internet:

    Milspec MRE requires no preparation or refrigeration. It is a meal ready-to-eat (MRE) hot or cold.
    Six tasty entree varieties to combat appetite fatigue
    Light weight, tamper proof pouch for an extended shelf life.
    Meals Ready to Eat are delicious nutritious dinner suited for any outdoor activity.
    Minimum 3 year shelf-life (may be extended if stored in temperatures cooler than 85 degrees Fahrenheit (29 degrees Celsius).
    A complete meal includes: entree, crackers, jelly, dessert, beverage and accessories (matches, moist towelettes, salt, chewing gum, and more).

    Wornick's MILSPEC MRE is the commercial version of the world famous Meal Ready-to-Eat. The MRE meals need no preparation, no need to boil, cook, or even add water to the entrees! MRE products also have a long shelf-life, so they’re perfect for storage. Each waterproof, insect-proof bag contains a full meal, completely ready-to-eat!

    Sample Mil-Spec Menus

    Menu 1
    Parmesan Chicken
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Cookie
    Beverage Base, Orange
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 13.4 oz.

    Menu 2
    Beef Stew
    Fruit Side Dish
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Oatmeal Cookie
    Tabasco Hot Sauce
    Beverage Base, Orange
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 18 oz.

    Menu 3
    Vegetarian Pasta Fagioli
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Oatmeal Cookie
    Beverage Base, Orange
    Tabasco Hot Sauce
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 13.4 oz.

    Menu 4
    Turkey with Savory Vegetables
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Oatmeal Cookie
    Tabasco Hot Sauce
    Beverage Base, Coffee
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 18 oz.

    Menu 5
    Beef Chili with Beans
    Fruit Side Dish
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Oatmeal Cookie
    Beverage Base, Orange
    Tabasco Hot Sauce
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 18 oz.

    Menu 6
    Spaghetti and Meatballs
    Crackers (2-pack)
    Strawberry Jam
    Chocolate-Covered Oatmeal Cookie
    Tabasco Hot Sauce
    Beverage Base, Orange
    Tabasco Sauce
    Accessory Pack
    Total Package Wt. 13.4 oz.

    *Accessory Pack includes spoon, salt, pepper, matches, moist towelettes and chewing gum.
    ***Bowl, cup, and plate in the picture are not included.

    Approximate Nutritional Values (Average of the Six Menus):

    Net Weight: 427 grams
    Protein: 24 grams
    Fat: 24 grams
    Carbohydrates: 128 grams
    Calories: 840


    Rations per case: 12 (2 meals each of 6 varieties)
    Case dimensions: 15.5" x 9.1" x 9.6"
    Case volume: 3.1 cubic feet
    Case weight: 15.4 lb (7 kg)

    Ellie


  9. #9
    THE UNOFFICAL MRE RECIPE BOOKLET
    OR HOW TO HAVE FUN EATIN ON THE RUN

    With the demise of the C-rations in the early 1980s and the advent MRES the McIllhenny Company stepped up and produced an updated version of the Charlie Ration Cookbook. In 1984 The Unofficial MRE Recipe Booklet was brought out with the help of the Bettle Bailey crew to help the GIs spice up their rations. So here is "The Unofficial MRE Recipe Booklet" or "How to Have Fun Eatin on the Run"








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