My story (As best I remember)

[gunnyhiles]

I posted this at PTSD before I found this topic.

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My wife and I went to the Wall for the 10th Anniversary. We got there several days before the ceremony. On our 1st day we down and viewed and visited, no problem, all went well. Later that evening around 2300 we went again, the transformation was almost eerie. I felt weak and scared like there were men whose names were there asking why I came back but they didn’t, the same question I asked myself daily. As I exited the Wall there was a single tent still up and a young lady there. We went over and she asked if we would sign her petition. It was for Nam Vets and I signed it. Then she asked if I was in Vietnam, I said yes. Then she said something no one else had said to me, “Welcome Home”. I literally fell to pieces right there. When we got home after a few days, I was at work when this terrible feeling came over me. I had seen my Dr. for depression and was on meds, but until then the Nam did not link with my condition. He said to get in and see him right away. Long story short I was having a breakdown and was admitted to the “Shrink” hospital. Having Tricare (Champus) and work insurance I was good financially. I stayed for 2 weeks while my meds were stabilized and got in group discussion with others that experienced what I had. That was some 20+ years ago. I am still on meds, have a PTSD VA rating along with other combat related wounds that have approached 90%. That was back when AOL and Prodigy were about the only online services that allowed some sort of dialog. Eventually we grew into a community of Nam Vets representing all branches. Then for about 8 years we would all meet in DC over Memorial Day, visit the Wall and share what only we can share. Long story short, it was therapeutic for us all, but we had to be willing to open up. Sitting at a keyboard has advantages, you are more willing to talk, and most important, listen. As the years go by I remember less of the bad and remember the good, oh yea, there were good times. Now I’m 70, my memory adjusts itself to sometimes being confused from past events which might be a good thing. Maybe the Moderators will start a Room where we can meet and talk like we did on Prodigy.

[davblay]

Semper Fi Gunny!

The portable WALL visited my small Tennessee hometown in July 2006, and stayed 5 days. I had never visited the Wall ,mostly because I didn't want to find names of buddies I served with over there listed on it. I was medevaced in 1970 and I just spent the years thinking everyone made it home and had families and a good life as I did. Oh I watched the dedication on TV and all, I listened to the names being read off one by one, but I never really paid that much attention because I didn't want to hear any names I didn't already know was on that wall. But now here it was....in my town! What was I to do?

I had just had Colon Cancer surgery in February that year and was not fully recovered from that. Now here it was just over 4 months after surgery and I had to go see that Wall. It was like a magnet pulling me to it. I knew I would probably never be able to see the real one, but I still felt the over powering urge to go, and Go I did!

It looked like the County Fair was in town that hot July day. People everywhere, from everywhere around the surrounding counties, and this was on Friday morning at 0900! I made my way to the panels for 1969,1970,1971 and looked at each name for what seemed like minutes (I am sure it was only seconds), and thank God I didn't find one familiar name of anyone that I didn't expect to find on those panels! I went to the office and double checked the names there, as they had them in the computer, and founf the same results, Not one of my fellow Marines in my unit listed in there either!

By this time it was pushing noon and getting hot so I started to my truck to go home. On my weakened trip I ran into a few young Soldiers who stopped and chatted with me offering to help me to my truck and such. These young Soldiers had just returned from Iraq the previous October.

To make a long story short, I stayed, my wife brought me food, there were drinks available, and I stay until 0100 Saturday morning! Even in my weakened state from the recent surgery I had to stay, I felt like I owed those men and women, listed on the Wall, that much.

Since that time I have felt more at peace than I have since I got home from The Nam. Yet I think about them everyday, knowing how close I came to being one of those names! God Bless the Corpsmen! I often think about what if I had found even one name on that Wall, of a friend, that I left behind!

Semper Fi Gunny, and God Bless all my brothers and sisters that served in that nasty war! May our younger brothers and sisters never have to endure what we did! Welcome home!!

Dave

[montana]

a few years back they had a touring wall for montana kias in nam...i went to see it when no one was around...nice and quiet....was looking for the names of a cupple guys i grew up with...one a Marine the other army, when this car load of people pulled up and told me to get out of the way so they could take a pic....thought some things never change and left.....walls dont bring them back...or right the wrong

be safe