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  1. #1

    Getting Married

    My recruiter wants me to get married after I get back from boot camp. The the thing is my girl and i are expecting a baby the same month i leave, in august. I would really like to get married to her before we have the baby. He really didnt elaborate on why he wanted me to do this. Someone please shed some light.


  2. #2
    A Gunnery Sergeant of Marines once told me to NEVER marry before boot camp. Not even to have a relationship. It's just a recipe for disappointment.


  3. #3
    My cousin who is now a Marine had a baby before he went in and was not married and when he returned he was married. Its really all about your relationship with your young lady you know what i mean. I have a special girl in my life also that im leaving but she is in the Air Force but is being discharged for medical. Its all about the relationship you have and apparently its a good one if your expecting a baby or id hope it would be. Good Luck with your decision but id get married when i returned as a Marine.


  4. #4
    Squad Leader Free Member Big Jim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mattlw201
    My recruiter wants me to get married after I get back from boot camp. The the thing is my girl and i are expecting a baby the same month i leave, in august. I would really like to get married to her before we have the baby. He really didnt elaborate on why he wanted me to do this. Someone please shed some light.
    Its most likely due to the fact that your wife and new baby will have DEERS and have sufficient health care coverage as soon as possible as they'll need it. But, if you still question it....just ask him!!!!


  5. #5
    Hope you have a big bank account,lol.


  6. #6
    If you get married before you go to boot camp, you will receive BAH... so you'll be bringing in some pretty good money while you're gone.

    Maybe he doesn't want you get to married right now because you'll be leaving soon after... who knows...

    I say if you're with your girl and you love her (don't think about the baby) then get married.... don't get married just because of the baby... that, more than likely, will end horribly....


  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by mattlw201 View Post
    My recruiter wants me to get married after I get back from boot camp. The the thing is my girl and i are expecting a baby the same month i leave, in august. I would really like to get married to her before we have the baby. He really didnt elaborate on why he wanted me to do this. Someone please shed some light.
    Well, I hope no one minds, but I have to speak about this from a religious viewpoint: If you are having a baby, and love each other, I believe you should get married (notwithstanding you two should have gotten married BEFORE you had a baby, but that's another issue altogether). I believe marriage is what God would want in a situation like this. And if you two believe in God, He can strengthen your love for each other and your marriage. I hope that helped, and message me if you need any personal/religious advice at all!
    Ask God to guide you in this, and He will!


  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by mattlw201 View Post
    My recruiter wants me to get married after I get back from boot camp.... He really didnt elaborate on why he wanted me to do this. Someone please shed some light.

    Maybe ask him, the one who intially told you this, to elaborate? Not trying to be a smart ass, but that really is your best route.


    On another note, i am married with a 8 month old son, and my recruiter seems happy... When I told him about my needing a dependent waiver, he just said "sweet that means more money."


  9. #9
    I am kinda in the same situation (my kid is 2). But we are not married. My recruter said that if you are married with a kid when you try to enlist all you can go in is reserve. I have no idea just what he told me. But we are getting married after i go in.


  10. #10
    Marine Free Member jrhd97's Avatar
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    Take the Gunny's advice. 13 weeks is a long time to be separated from a new spouse, especially a pregnant one. Whats done is done. When you get back from boot camp, if she still loves you the same as before you left, go for it. The person now WILL NOT be the Marine that comes back.

    CJ, I agree with you whole heartedly. At this point the dead is done. Nobody can change that. Marriage can wait a little longer at this point. Even if they don't get married, as long as the child is taken care of.
    Whats worse, or better? An unwed mother or a likely divorce? Not saying they will, but statisticly it is likely.
    Every one has played around. I thank God I didn't get in this bind until after I got married. In the end, this will not keep the young man, nor the girlfriend from heaven. It is all forgiven, all they need to is ask and it is given.


  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Psurichie View Post
    I am kinda in the same situation (my kid is 2). But we are not married. My recruter said that if you are married with a kid when you try to enlist all you can go in is reserve. I have no idea just what he told me. But we are getting married after i go in.

    That is completely false. I don't know why he'd tell you that, but I know we got boots in our shop fresh to the fleet and fresh out of school (and at that, obviously fresh from bootcamp) that have kids -- pre enlistment children.

    I'm active, they're active, see what I'm sayin?


  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Haffner View Post
    That is completely false. I don't know why he'd tell you that, but I know we got boots in our shop fresh to the fleet and fresh out of school (and at that, obviously fresh from bootcamp) that have kids -- pre enlistment children.

    I'm active, they're active, see what I'm sayin?

    Yeah, I am pretty sure that in certain situations they make you go reserves first and then move into active in the future. My recruiter explained all of this to me, but he said in my particular situation, I should be able to go active right away.

    I am kinda in the same situation (my kid is 2). But we are not married. My recruter said that if you are married with a kid when you try to enlist all you can go in is reserve. I have no idea just what he told me. But we are getting married after i go in.
    How are you going in with a kid and without being married? The way I understand it is that all branches of the United States Armed Forces do not accept single parents? I guess you may not be the biological parent?...or you can give up your parental rights, but then you can't be called a parent.

    Just curious...help me understand.

    Thanks.


  13. #13
    Ok, I'm pretty GOD DAMNED SURE I just said that at my shop we have FRESH BOOTS who only graduated bootcamp in October who were MARRIED and had KID(s). Your recruiter is trying to make it seem like he's hooking you up.

    Whoever told you that bull**** in your last paragraph probably suffered a traumatic brain injury. Similar situation for a Marine at our shop who only just graduated boot in the beginning of November; went to boot with a kid and no marriage. Didn't give up his parental rights or any dumb crap you just spewed out.


    Edit


  14. #14
    Oh, by the way, you don't just freakin' quote a Marine, MOREOVER an NCO on up and just say, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure [that you are wrong]" Yes, before your commodore 64 brain housing group finally says, "I DID NOTS TEYEP DAT," that's what you implied.

    And another thing: "Pretty sure" KILLS. How are you going to give advice/answer a question when you're not 100% sure beyond a shadow of a doubt?


  15. #15
    Or you could read my post and you would realize I was agreeing with the Marine I quoted.


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