Help with friends parents....

[RSSGreecePoolee]

I have a friend who wants to join, very badly. Right now he's 18 and wants to enlist, however he hasn't because he doesn't want any bad blood back at home with his parents for not listening. They're pushing for him to do a year at college first(why only 1 year, I do not know, best guess says they want to change his mind entirely in the process). I tried rationalizing with him first about how they are his parents, and they'll come to grips and still love him regardless, but that wasn't enough.


They refuse to listen to anything a recruiter says, they think they're all liars and will say anything to get people to join. What doesn't help is that his father has a co-worker who's son is a recruiter and says he lies all the time. More over, my friends cousin was in the reserves and has all sorts of gripes about the Corps.


I'm looking for some sort of argument I can present to his parents, or at least him mom. His mom is a smart woman, but cares about him alot and doesn't want him to get hurt. His dad on the other hand is completely stubborn and closed minded and won't listen to a word otherwise than to what he thinks, no matter who it is. For months it's been a battle. He said if I can get his mom on board then that's enough for him and he'll go and she can talk to his dad since he won't listen to me.



I'm just wondering what it is I can say? I had a few things in mind, but most of it is stuff I've said before at some point.

[DGardner]

Maybe it's just me... but he'll have to do it at some point. Why not just enlist? Mommy and Daddy won't be happy at first... it's happend before. It's his life and he needs to start doing things on his own.

On the other hand... they are his parents and they should be put at ease...

Why not invite them to take a look and chat with some of the Marines here... they don't get anything whether he enlists or not... they have nothing to gain... so why would they lie?

I still think he should man up and do it.... then again... it just might be me.

[Marine84]

Incoming!

Search for the other 113 threads on how to handle parents (one of them you even posted your question on and it's only about 2 or 3 threads BELOW this one!) - the answers won't be any different.

[OB MSG]

*putting on my helmet to block the flying clods*

Greece,

Here's a little story for you from my own experience. In 1998, I was in college. I always knew I would go into the military but I wasn't sure what branch. I had almost enlisted in the Army, but my recruiter got arrested, (another story), then I looked to the Navy and Chair-force. My dad was pushing the AF but I didn't want to go there, to cushy. I went and talked to them just quiet my dad. The Navy had a better chance, but they blew off a meeting with my dad and I so I went to talk to the Marines. At first I was skeptical, but then I found things in the Corps that I liked and that I could excel at.

So I told them that they had to sell my folks. I knew what job I wanted, what benefits I would get, and had a path of where I wanted my Corps career to take me. I told my mom about the recruiters coming over and she almost lost it. "Not the Marines,"she said. I asked her to hear them out and then give me her thoughts. I told her that at the end of the day it was my decision to make but I respected hers' and my dads' advise. The recruiters came over, a SSgt and a MSgt, and we all sat at the dining room table. They gave their speech and then let my mom and dad fire questions at them. They answered them all and then asked what I wanted. I said I was ready to go but I wanted to see what my folks thought. Because they had been so respectful and actually came to our house to talk, my mom was won over, ( I would have joined anyway and she knew it).

So, for you friend, tell him to tell his parents that he respect there advise and wisdom, but at the end of the day it's his life and always will be. He needs to decide this for himself and they can either support him or be bitter about it and let it come between them.

[RSSGreecePoolee]

*putting on my helmet to block the flying clods*

Greece,

Here's a little story for you from my own experience. In 1998, I was in college. I always knew I would go into the military but I wasn't sure what branch. I had almost enlisted in the Army, but my recruiter got arrested, (another story), then I looked to the Navy and Chair-force. My dad was pushing the AF but I didn't want to go there, to cushy. I went and talked to them just quiet my dad. The Navy had a better chance, but they blew off a meeting with my dad and I so I went to talk to the Marines. At first I was skeptical, but then I found things in the Corps that I liked and that I could excel at.

So I told them that they had to sell my folks. I knew what job I wanted, what benefits I would get, and had a path of where I wanted my Corps career to take me. I told my mom about the recruiters coming over and she almost lost it. "Not the Marines,"she said. I asked her to hear them out and then give me her thoughts. I told her that at the end of the day it was my decision to make but I respected hers' and my dads' advise. The recruiters came over, a SSgt and a MSgt, and we all sat at the dining room table. They gave their speech and then let my mom and dad fire questions at them. They answered them all and then asked what I wanted. I said I was ready to go but I wanted to see what my folks thought. Because they had been so respectful and actually came to our house to talk, my mom was won over, ( I would have joined anyway and she knew it).

So, for you friend, tell him to tell his parents that he respect there advise and wisdom, but at the end of the day it's his life and always will be. He needs to decide this for himself and they can either support him or be bitter about it and let it come between them.

If I can get them to at least agree to sit down with a recruiter, maybe thats a bit of a gain, but outstanding.


In reference to the other thread I posted in, that was more of a joining infantry, not just joining in general. Many parents are ok with their kids going, as long as the words infantry are never uttered. My dad signed and did so without gripe because my MOS is in Aviation, but had I said infantry he would have told me to go **** myself and wait till I'm 18. Go figure...


But thanks, hopefully I can get the recruiter and his mom to meet.

[Whitey]

here's how i did it: walked into the recruiting station on a rainy day ****ed off at the world cause college wasn't going fast enough and working full time at a retail store sucked. i told everyone i was picking up some of my photography i dropped off at a friends.

personally, college isn't for everyone but i must say i do have an edge on my peers and you can tell the maturity difference between those of us who went to college prior to joining and those that didn't

[JdnSmith]

My mom isn't very happy about me wanting to be a Marine. Mt recruiter said she would be more than happy to sit down and talk with my mom and answer any questions she had. Then we had a conversation that went exactly like this...

Sgt: Do you know what is between your thighs?
Me: Huh?
Sgt: Between your thighs what is that?
Me: That would be my d***
Sgt: Correct, and who does that belong to?
Me: To me
Sgt: Yes to you and only you so act accordingly

I got the point real fast. When you become a man you should be able to make your own decisions. Ultimately the decision is his and his only. His parents will still love him either way. But how would he feel if he passed on the opportunity to become a Marine because he didnt have his mommy's blessing?

[darkgreen0311]

Your friend needs to grow a pair of n**s. He's 18 and doesn't need his mother or fathers permission. The only person who needs to be concerned with what the recruiter is saying is your friend.








Semper Fi 4 Life
Yours is not to question why but to do or die!!!

[DarrinC]

Well I honestly never had this problem. My brother was a Staff Sergeant when I joined, so my mom is a very gung-ho type of person when it comes to the Marines.

If I was him I would just sign up anyway. They are your parents, they have to support you in all choices you make for a better future. College wasn't for me and its not for a lot of people. If his parents have a huge problem with it, he can still respect there opinions but they have to realize he is the one living HIS life. Either way he would have his new family to fall back on if things go terribly wrong.

Hope I helped,
Pvt Claude

[Darrell B]

Honestly if he can't man up to his parents don't send his ass the the recruiters office. Send him to the army, navy, coast guard, or some other branch; I hear the army lets you use cell phones and iPods in basic he might be interested in that.

-Poolee Brown

[WKranz]

I promised my parents I would do a year of college and regret it. It sounds like they will not support his decision even if it is delayed for a year. What I did was tell my parents what was up, why I am enlisting and what I chose the Marine Corps for.

I think once he actually enlists, they will come to terms with it, but while it is still up in the air the concerned parents believe that he can be talked out of enlisting.

[JoeInVille]

You can get college credit while in the Corps. I chose to go infantry which would make it very difficult for that to be accomplished but if you go with an MOS that isnt deployed as often or something I am sure you could take classes. I am going to college after my 4 years in the Marines and maybe doing something like PLC. At this point in my life, the Marine Corps is the only thing that excites me so thats why I enlisted now instead of going officer right away. Parents have a large part in the decision but he should grow some balls and know its his life, not his parents.

[sparkie]

Man up,,, Do what you gotta do. Youn don't need more buiishet.