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  1. #16
    Marine Free Member gwladgarwr's Avatar
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    Arrow Instead of fearing for her, show support for her

    Quote Originally Posted by WorriedMother
    My daugther has nothing in common with you. She is not joining because of stupid supercilious reasons such as GUYS and UNIFORMS. You have a lot to learn dear and you are still very young and immature.

    She's just looking for a way out of her current situation. She says she does and is very determined to go and try to join the Corps, I'm just very afraid for her.
    Ma'am:

    You have a lot of very experienced and wizened Marines on this site, including the young ones. You asked for advice and opinions, and you got it. The usual response is not to insult Marines and call them "young and immature". The condescending attitude I sense from you regarding the military and the Marines is the only immature thing I'm getting here.

    Tying herself to four years of doing something? Have you ever had a job outside the home for four years? I know I have. How about your daughter tying herself to four years of NOTHING but regret, depression, frustration, exhaustion, or misery? Let your daughter make a decision on her own for once in her life and let her WANT to grow up. She's already made that decision by joining the Marine Corps. She knows the responsibility she's taking on and she is fully aware of the obligation she is taking on by "signing her life away for four years." It's called "taking responsibility for oneself."

    All this talk about GI Bill and tuition reimbursement is just a distraction. Benefits are there, sure. But, the Marine Corps is not an "escape hatch". If you can't or won't do for youself, I think it would be fair not to expect the Marine Corps to do it for you. She may well have other reasons for joining the Marine Corps that have nothing to do with the "bennies". It's those intangibles that her school life, social circle, her church, etc. are not able to provide that she may really be after. Things such as pride in oneself, pride in our country, pride for caring for someone else other than oneself, responsibility, integrity, self-discipline - if these such things are what she's after and has joined the Corps to find them, that only implies that she hasn't found them where she is now in her life.

    Far be it for me to stand in her way.

    The old saying "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" applies here. It appears she wants to lead - at least be leader of her own destiny. Give her a big hug and tell her you love her for that - and don't send her cookies at boot camp.

    Just for the record, I got my undergraduate degree BEFORE I joined the Marine Corps and I got my graduate degree WHILE I was in the Marine Corps (and am still there.) I'm working on my PhD now and planning to put it to use in the Corps, not in the corporate world or in academics. The Marine Corps will back you up if you show initiative toward yourself AND toward the Corps.

    Your daughter has taken that first step toward initiative - by taking control of her life while also looking beyond herself and her own needs. Don't bag your daughter for that - back her up 100% for growing a backbone and taking ownership of her life. That's what you want for her, isn't it?

    You worry as Moms are supposed to do. Just take care not to make your worries for her become HER worries.

    Sgt gw


  2. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by WorriedMother
    My daugther has nothing in common with you. She is not joining because of stupid supercilious reasons such as GUYS and UNIFORMS. You have a lot to learn dear and you are still very young and immature.

    You asked why she wants to join...well she wants to join because she can no longer afford college and she doesn't want to live with her parents. She wants to be a musician and she know she can get playing experience from the Corps and that they will help pay for her music education degree after her four years. But I just want her to pick another path that doesn't make her commit her life to something for 4 years. Once she gets out of the Corps, she's going to be very behind on her bachelor's degree. And I am afraid she'll be miserable in the Corps and won't make it through college afterwards. I don't think deep down inside she really wants this, she's just looking for a way out of her current situation. She says she does and is very determined to go and try to join the Corps, I'm just very afraid for her.

    Ma'am:

    First off, some of the best Marines I've known joined for 'stupid supercilious reasons'. What, you think everyone is some high and mighty patriot? Or something else? She's 20, and sounds perfectly fine to me. Everyone has their own reasons for joining the Marines, and she has hers.

    Cut the freakin apron strings.

    She'll grow up, and become more mature than you will have ever hoped. She'll get to do and see things that most young people only see in video games, or call 'extreme sports' and pay to do. Instead of sitting on the sidelines, or living in your basement becoming just another ******* with a BA degree in hand painted hair nets or basket weaving or modern folk dance, she'll become part of the new 'Band of Brothers'. If she is good enough to make it into one of the bands, that fact alone will get her well on her way to becoming a professional musician, if that is what she wants to do. Then again, she might find another career path. Either way, once she earns the title, Marine, its' something no one can take away from her.

    Your attitude, (why can't she do something better...wasting four years, etc etc) is typical but not surprising these days. Tossing insults at Marines wins you no points here, just as in Sparta, everyone here is held accountable for their words. That's Marine culture, and that's the way we are. That's the way we are taught, and that's the way your daughter will be. While we may trade insults with one another, we've EARNED that right.

    You....have not. Consider this a mild rebuke and a lesson on manners. Take it for what you will.


  3. #18
    Mom you have got her to 20, and now she wants to go out to the world. Give her a chance to do something she wants.
    I joined to get the heck away from my parents and i stayed for 12 years. Went to school (college) while i was in and they paid for my degree.
    Mom I know it is hard but she will need your support in what she has now signed up to do. It is not easy and let me say this if you get it easy you don't care if you lose it but if it takes all you can give to get some thing then you are more likely that will will keep it for the price that you have to have paid for it.
    Mom just back off and support her that is what she needs form you.


  4. #19
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    WorriedMother,
    The first thing that comes to my mind is that the Marine Corps, as well as any Armed Force, is a military service. Somehow, this little tidbit of information often times gets lost in the information shuffle. I hope that your daughter has been well briefed before she signed on.
    Regardless, the deed has been done and it would be in your best interest to support your daughter. There are thousands apon thousands of stories of parents and loved ones overcome with pride as their sons and daughters complete the transformation known as Boot Camp. You might have even heard of the graduates saying to their parents or loved ones, "Thank you for all the supportive letters, they really helped me get through my training."
    Don't miss out on this opportunity to work as a supportive team member with your daughter. Take one step at a time. Your daughter will be doing the same.
    "...give away 4 years of her life." I don't know about that; that may just be your idea of how the world should be turning in reference to, perhaps, the plans that you had for your daughter.
    How about the idea that she is contributing four years of her life?
    Try to be as positive as you can. It will enrich you.
    Best of luck to you both.
    Gary


  5. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by SgtHopperUSMC
    Was that speed bump spelling? Sorry couldnt help it.
    Money and English actually lol! Just got off work and was in a bit of a hurry to respond and give a little advice. Have to have a life off the computer too


  6. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Phantom Blooper
    marine2103 Mine are as follows: the guys ( I plan marriage early;short life),the rigor, toughness, domineering attitude and the pride.I love the uniforms and stuff.

    Stay home and grow up....you can get laid by a sanitation worker in uniform! Maybe you may change your goals!

    HAHAHAH....That's what I'm talking about. When I read that a few days back, I just rolled my eyes and thought back to the matresses in MOS school....not the real matresses.....you know what I'm talking about..haha.


  7. #22
    I joined the Marine Corps when I was 17 and a senior in high school. I was desperate to get out of the house and couldn't stand the thought of 4 more years of school. I picked the Marine Corps because the Air Force recruiter didn't impress me, the Navy, well lets just say that there was NO WAY I was wearing bell bottoms, The Army, to disorganized for me. The Marine Corps had the best uniforms! The hot guys were just a bonus. So I guess my reasons weren't all of the best, however it was THE BEST DESCISION OF MY LIFE. The dumbest decision I ever made was getting out. If she is not cut out for the Marine Corps her Drill Instructors will definetly find that out. She may just surprise you! It is natural to be worried, but there are worse decisions she could make. I wish her luck, at boot camp


  8. #23
    Marine Free Member Wyoming's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tntmondy
    I joined the Marine Corps when I was 17 and a senior in high school. I was desperate to get out of the house and couldn't stand the thought of 4 more years of school. I picked the Marine Corps because the Air Force recruiter didn't impress me, the Navy, well lets just say that there was NO WAY I was wearing bell bottoms, The Army, to disorganized for me. The Marine Corps had the best uniforms! The hot guys were just a bonus. So I guess my reasons weren't all of the best, however it was THE BEST DESCISION OF MY LIFE. The dumbest decision I ever made was getting out. If she is not cut out for the Marine Corps her Drill Instructors will definetly find that out. She may just surprise you! It is natural to be worried, but there are worse decisions she could make. I wish her luck, at boot camp
    Samo samo!!

    Also, there were mattresses at all bases, even in the RVN. The Navy & AF gals were the ones that come to mind the quickest, especially around the 1st of November. They liked the BD party.



    One other thing, to WorriedMom, why don't you turn your Daughter on to this site. She is 20, AND, if she cops an attitude or whatever, the WM's will drop kick her a bit, not to mention the MM's.


  9. #24
    Phantom Blooper
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    HAHAHAH....That's what I'm talking about. When I read that a few days back, I just rolled my eyes and thought back to the mattresses in MOS school....not the real matresses.....you know what I'm talking about..haha.
    I remember the mattresses when I was stationed at Kanaohe,HI with 2/3.Some of the mattresses had bed bugs that bit.....you know what I'm talking about..haha. SHAME ON ME! LOL!

    Proffitt, some of my posts over the years have been deleted.....and some not.....because I am a firm believer in telling a person to go to hell and make them enjoy packing for the trip! That's TACT! God,I love those leadership traits and principles!




  10. #25
    Phantom Blooper
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    Yes Ma'am! God I love the Marine Corps MOM's,WIVE's & wimmen! Now that's LOVE!




  11. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Phantom Blooper
    I remember the mattresses when I was stationed at Kanaohe,HI with 2/3.Some of the mattresses had bed bugs that bit.....you know what I'm talking about..haha. SHAME ON ME! LOL!

    Proffitt, some of my posts over the years have been deleted.....and some not.....because I am a firm believer in telling a person to go to hell and make them enjoy packing for the trip! That's TACT! God,I love those leadership traits and principles!

    When I read your reply, something came to mind...."A Few Good Men"....
    ""You can't handle the Truth!"" haha. Sometimes, actually all of the time, I just want the damn truth. Don't sugar coat it...it tastes way worse when after the first bite the sweetness goes away.


  12. #27
    Marine Free Member Marine84's Avatar
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    I agree with all these other Marines. I'm a woman now but, back when I was your daughter's age, I went in the Corps for the very same reasons. I did 2 years of school and couldn't see it going any further, working dead end jobs just to pay for that school and wasn't having ANY fun along the way. I had NEVER commited to anything to achieve anything. I decided to join the Corps and it was THE best thing I EVER did for myself, I grew up in the process AND I had fun along the way. My Mother secretly thought I wouldn't make it either - the longer you tell her that, the harder she's going to prove to you that she can. LET HER AND SUPPORT HER WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART like my Mother did and you will be AMAZED at what the Corps will send home to you after only 3 months at Parris Island.


  13. #28
    Mam:

    I'm a counselor by profession, and would say the worry your feelings is normal. However, I would also say that you appear to be looking at this as a 100% negative event.

    I see some similarites with how my mom was when I was getting ready for bootcamp. You said you want her to pick a path that doesn't involve a four year commitment. Like what? Also, you said you were afraid she was going to be miserable in the Corps. O.k., is this based on your own personal feelings. If your daughter wants to be miserable in the Corps that's her choice. I'm a firm believer in something Abraham Lincolns said that people are as miserable or happy as they make up their minds to be. (paraphrased).

    I'm just going to come straight to the point. After reading your post, I'm wondering if you're more afraid for your daughter or yourself? Say she spends four years in, and get's out and picks up where she left off. You say she'll be behind on her bachelors degree. I doubt that. There are plenty of opportunities to continue your education in the Corps to include online classes. If your daughter doesn't progress in getting her degree, than the responsibility for that rests on her.

    That's the great thing about the Corps, you are responsible for how far you go or don't go. And quite frankly, your post comes across as if you're blaming the Marines for any future problems she might get herself into. I would suggest you get a book entitled, " Above and Beyond." It is about former Marines that have gone on to successful careers in the business world and elsewhere.

    You're worried about your daughter. O.k., well that to me means your a good mother. However, this is a choice she made; you may not agree with it, but at the same time, don't focus only on what you perceive as negatives. Her joining the Corps, while you might think as a bad thing, might not be so bad for her in the long run.

    Jahhead88


  14. #29
    She will be fine. She may not like it at times but I believe that it will make a difference in her outlook on life. If she wishes to talk to someone who has been through becoming a WM send her my way. Im only 23 so I think that since she and I are close in age that I may be able to give her some advice. Good Luck and I hope that things turn out well.


  15. #30
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    for the worried mom,

    my son just graduated from PI. on Dec 7th. it was the proudest day of my life. he too had little direction before he went in. he was a great kid and never got into trouble, but was unsure what he wanted. since he sigened the papers to join, he has been so focused. i understand your worries as a parent. i too had some of the same feelings. but once i started getting into the Marine Family, things changed for me as well. there have been some that have been bashing you on this site. some of the remarks you made were a little off color. they need to cut you a little slack, and explain things a little better for you. not everyone knows the Marine life, or the Marine mentality. though it is a great one, not everyone understands it. cut her a little break, it sounds to me that she is looking for a little advice. she is just a worried mother, who is losing her oldest daughter to the Marines. i am sure she is just acting like other mothers have .... just let her go, and you will be the proudest mother in the world after 13 weeks.

    there was no father more proud then i was... now my son feels like he has a purpose in life. in one of his letters to me, he said thank you for supporting him 100%. with out me doing that he would have failed. his mother was worried as well, and has since seen the light ( for lack of a better term ).

    good luck, and my prayers are with your daughter....

    michael


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