The War In The Words Of The Dead
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    THE WAR IN THE WORDS OF THE DEAD
    By Jon Meacham
    Newsweek

    April 2, 2007 Issue - He was exhausted, but he wanted to talk to his daughter, and the only way to do that in Fallujah was to write a letter. "This war is not like the big war—there are no big sweeping maneuvers with hundreds of tanks pouring over the border and so forth," Army Maj. Michael Mundell told his 17-year-old, Erica (nicknamed "Eddie"), on Friday, Oct. 27, 2006. "It's a fight of 10 man squads in the dark, of ambushes and snipers and IEDs. When I go out to fight, it's usually with less than 20 men ... And I go out to fight almost every day."

    The pace, he admitted, was punishing.

    "We are weary, Eddie, so very weary. I can't tell you how bone tired I am. There are times when we get back in and ... it is all I can do to drag myself from the truck and stagger up here to take off all the junk I gotta wear ... " His tone briefly brightened as he thought of Erica's life back home, where she was a senior at Meade County High School in Brandenburg, Ky.: "Tell all of your friends and your teachers that I said hello from Fallujah. I am doing well and our battalion is considered the best in the brigade. We are fighting the enemy and hopefully winning, though that is difficult to measure." He signed off with a pledge: "Never forget that your daddy loves you more than anything and that I will be home soon." Mundell could not keep that last promise. At a quarter to 2 on the afternoon of Friday, Jan. 5, 2007, he was killed by an IED while on patrol in Fallujah; the casket was closed at his funeral in Kentucky.

    Never forget that your daddy loves you: As a soldier, husband, father and casualty of war, Michael Mundell is one of at least 3,230 Americans who have died in the struggle for Iraq. He was 47 years old and left behind his wife, Audrey, and four children, all under 18. By itself, Mundell's story is sad but familiar, even predictable. Wars have always made women widows and children orphans. When Mundell was laid to rest in a hillside cemetery in Irvington, Ky., he joined the solemn company of America's fallen warriors—men and women who become objects of veneration, commemorated, in Lincoln's words, as the "honored dead" who "gave the last full measure of devotion." They are garlanded and buried beneath white marble, revered but silenced.

    Yet they still have stories to tell, stories that bear hearing, and remembering. In letters and journals and e-mails, the war dead live on, their words—urgent, honest, unself-conscious—testament to the realities of combat. What do they have to say to us? This special issue of NEWSWEEK is an attempt to answer that question. We have collected the correspondence of American soldiers at war in Iraq, accounts written not for the public but for those they loved—wives, husbands, children, parents, siblings. Each of the warriors whose words are excerpted here died in the line of duty. Each of their families chose to share their stories with us, and with you. "It's become very important to me that these soldiers and Marines are viewed as individuals with lives, dreams, experiences and families," says Terri Clifton, whose son, Marine Lance Cpl. Chad Clifton, was killed by a mortar in Anbar province. "They aren't cardboard cutouts in shades of red, white and blue."

    No matter where one stands on the decision to invade or on the conduct of the conflict over the last four years, the Iraq War is indisputably a curious thing. For the first time in the experience of any living American, we have sent an all-volunteer force overseas to advance our interests for a prolonged period, and virtually nothing has been asked of the vast majority of those who do not have loved ones in the line of fire. The bargain is hardly fair. If we take the president at his word, the men and women of the armed forces are fighting and dying over there so that you and I will not have to face mortal danger over here.

    The administration may be right about this; it is impossible to know now. As wrong as the White House has been about the premise of the war (the presence of weapons of mass destruction) and about the way we would be received (as "liberators," in Vice President Dick Cheney's formulation) and about the conduct of the conflict once Saddam fell (we were unprepared for the sectarian bloodbath), history moves according to its own rhythms, not according to news cycles or presidential terms. Despite the depressing state of play on the ground, things may yet turn out better than most Americans suspect—or fear.

    The families who co-operated with NEWSWEEK did not do so to make unified political statements; their views are as divergent as the broad public's. "It's not an issue of being antiwar or pro-war, anti-Bush or pro-Bush," says Larry Page, whose son Rex died in action. "The real issue is that our young people are there, and they need and deserve our support. My son said to me in one of his phone calls from Iraq: 'Dad, we've taken the fight to them. If we don't fight them here, we will fight them on the streets of America. They proved that at 9/11. We don't want IEDs and suicide bombers on the streets of America.' My son and 3,000 others bravely gave their lives so that you and I could live in liberty and freedom." That is one view; there are, to say the least, others. "The words of our fallen soldiers bear silent witness to their valiant effort to do their best on our behalf," says Paul R. Petty, who lost his son Christopher. "They have not been defeated in battle, but neither were they given the wherewithal to achieve the desired result. Ill-conceived notions of a foreign culture led us to believe we could accomplish our goals easily and on the cheap." The point that unites them is grief—and the centrality of the human story of war.

    History, like memory, is selective. Reporters observe; historians imagine; aging soldiers spin threads of experience into tapestries of story. Veterans who come home and talk about what happened can never really re-create what it was like, or even what it really felt like, for, as Shakespeare noted, old men forget, and what they do not forget they tend to "remember with advantage." This is not to say that the survivors embellish on purpose. It is to say, though, that memory is not always a reliable witness. Painful details are suppressed; context is lost; events are elided, often unconsciously, in order to make the inchoate choate.

    The kind of history in this issue is the most bracing kind of recollection, for it is barely recollection at all. It is more like collection, as the warriors record what is happening to them virtually as it happens. The result is a window on Iraq we have not had before: the bravery, the fear and the chaos of war, and the loves and hates and dreams and nightmares of the warriors. Things are incredibly busy, then they are not. The Iraqis are welcoming, then they are not. The war is going well, then it is not. The mission makes sense, then it does not. Here is Mundell, in late August 2006: "This will be short, as time is very short, as usual.

    "The happenings of late: we continue to get mortared, with an occasional RPG shot at us thrown in for fun ... A little girl was killed yesterday in a cross fire between our Iraqis, the Marines and the bad guys. Sad.

    "Folks, I am very tired. We seem to be doing little, the city is mostly trash, rubble and AIF [Anti-Iraq Forces], and frankly I am tired of being a walking bull's-eye for anyone with an AK and nothing better to do, which includes most of the populace, apparently. We have found three IEDs before they could explode under our trucks.

    "Sorry this isn't funny or upbeat—there is nothing funny or upbeat to talk about right now. People are dying like flies here and I am sick of it."

    The warriors whose voices you will hear are, like Mundell's, more often interested in survival than in grand strategy. "A lot of people are ready to go home," said Army Sgt. Patrick Tainsh shortly after the invasion in 2003. "They can't wait to eat pizza or have a Dr Pepper. It doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters except to do my job and bring my guys and myself home. Not for pizza and for D.P. but for sanctuary." They are unsentimental, and have little patience for frivolity. In the fall of 2006 Mundell's radio operator, Joseph R. Pugsley, read about an animals' rights protest over how Ben & Jerry's treated the chickens that lay the eggs for the company's ice cream. He could hardly believe it. "Joe feels that these people have entirely too much time on their hands," Mundell reported home. " 'God, are they stupid! Get a life'," Pugsley said. ("There was more," Mundell added, "but most of it was rather obscene.")

    The violence is pervasive, inescapable. "My tank took another RPG this a.m. for a grand total of 8," Army First Lt. Kenneth Ballard wrote his mother from Najaf in May 2004. "It has turned into almost a game of sorts. They shoot, we get hit, we shoot back, killing them most of the time, only to repeat it all over again somewhere else in the city."

    And so it goes on, and on, in places like Najaf, Baghdad, Fallujah and Anbar province, places that are only names on the news. It is difficult for many Americans to explain how all the pieces of the war fit together, or what separates a Sunni from a Shia, or what a stable Iraq would look like. This has been a strangely contextless conflict. There is no consistent narrative, no battles to follow or specific victories to pray for. We do not have a president to tell us these things, for George W. Bush has chosen to forgo the example of the greatest American war leader of the 20th century, Franklin D. Roosevelt, who spoke often of the war, of its progress and its perils. "The news is going to get worse and worse before it begins to get better," Roosevelt told the country in February 1942. "The American people must be prepared for it and they must get it straight from the shoulder." Sacrifice was shared, and no one was exempt. All four of FDR's sons were in uniform, as were those of his chief political adviser, Harry Hopkins, who lost a son, Peter, in the Marshall Islands.

    A year after Fort Sumter, the philosopher John Stuart Mill contributed a piece to Harper's Magazine entitled "The Contest in America." Army Maj. David Taylor, who was killed in action on Oct. 22, 2006, always carried a quotation from the essay with him; it was found in his effects after he died. Mill's argument: some things are worth dying for. "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things," Mill wrote. "A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for ... is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

    What emerges from the following pages is the sense that the fallen are better men, and women. "We are really fine so long as we have each other over here," Ballard wrote home, and he meant it. Nations go to war over ideas and politics, but minds can change and politics may shift. By their very nature, matters of state are fluid and inconstant. What is constant in war is the humanity of the warrior, and the pain of those left behind, who reach for hands they can no longer touch and listen for voices they can no longer hear, except in the words you are about to read.

    Ellie


  2. #2
    To Topple a Tyrant
    Newsweek

    April 2, 2007 Issue - It's easy to forget how daunting and dangerous everything seemed on the eve of the Iraq War. U.S. forces were braced for the worst. Hardly anyone believed Iraq's claims that it no longer possessed any weapons of mass destruction—untold stockpiles of lethal biological and chemical agents—and there was no doubt that Saddam Hussein would use whatever he had. And American servicemen and -women spent months enduring real and simulated gas attacks. Hadn't the Butcher of Baghdad already gassed entire Iraqi villages in the 1980s when they had defied his rule?

    But as American forces raced across the desert to Baghdad, they encountered a far different threat—mostly scattered militias, often in civilian clothes, attacking strung-out supply lines with AK-47s and car bombs. The pinprick attacks were unsettling. Still, they hardly seemed a threat to the mighty war machine America had assembled. Less than two months after the initial "shock and awe" bombing runs, President Bush would announce from the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln an end to major combat operations, under a banner declaring MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

    In the fall of 2002, Congress authorized the attack on Iraq. While debate raged at the United Nations, troops readied themselves for war.

    Army National Guard Spc. Michael G. Mihalakis
    Nov. 2, 2002, Fort Leonard Wood, MO. (Basic Training)

    I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have a completely shaved head, Army uniforms, and zero fat. The very few seconds I get to look in the mirror while I shave each morning, I try to remember who I used to be. Every soldier is going through the same change. It doesn't matter who you are: prom queen, high school football star, scholar, idiot, or whatever. As soon as you get here, you become a copy of the person next to you. It sounds like hell, and to tell you the truth, it is. But I'm loving every minute. I'm learning so many cool things.

    In the weeks before the invasion, more than 200,000 U.S. and British troops assembled in the gulf region.
    Army Pfc. Jesse A. Givens


    April 2003, Camp Victory, Kuwait

    Hey, angel. [ ... ] Every day I think, worry, and pray for you. I want so bad to hug you. I want to listen to your breath beside me while I sleep. Please don't get used to me being gone. I am sorry I'm not there with you right now. I know it doesn't seem like it all the time, but I try to be there when you need me. Usually I can make it happen but there was no way to get out of this. I guess this way at least I can give you and Toad and the Bean food and a home. [ ... ] It may be awhile before we can make phone calls but I will continue to write as much as possible. I love you! Give Toad and Bean hugs and kisses. Count the stars ...

    Later that month, Givens wrote again to his pregnant wife, son and unborn son:

    [ ... ] In the next few days we will be moving again. We are heading into a real bad place, I guess. We have a bunch of want-to-be GI Joes who say they can't wait to kill someone. Personally I [don't] give a s--t if we kill someone or never fire a shot. I don't want medals or to be a hero. I just want to come home and be a husband and daddy again.

    Givens, 34, drowned on May 1 in Habbaniyah. "Bean" was born four weeks later.

    The first ground troops reached the heart of Baghdad just 21 days after they entered Iraq.

    Army Sgt. Patrick Tainsh


    April 7, near Nasiriya

    We are sitting at Al Salem Iraqi Air Base. [ ... ] I have a little time so I thought I would write. We've been in Iraq for 2 days now. Light resistance on the way here, and nothing but sand and mud-built shacks. The majority of the people greet us with open arms, but there are those who hate us. I'm doing good. This morning U.S. forces entered downtown Baghdad. We cheered [ ... ]

    It's weird, Dad, to be at war. These people are so oppressed that to see the kids living like this hurts. I cried the other day when 2 kids asked for food and I couldn't give it to them. We are very close to Baghdad, and sometimes you can hear the bombers overhead. I am glad to be here with these guys. They are really good men. Aside from lack of sleep we are all doing well. Please do me a favor and call Tracy and tell her I'm thinking about her and I miss her. [...] Gotta go. Write back.

    Tainsh
    April 10, near Baghdad

    We had a mission yesterday vs. a Baath Party-occupied village, and took 14 POWs with no casualties. [ ... ] We are advancing very rapidly with aggressiveness. It's really awesome to see a cavalry troop work and win. [ ... ] Everyone is doing their job well, and the commander is very pleased. I can't tell you where we are, but we are close [to Baghdad]. The region isn't desert; it's like a tropical region of the country—palm trees, vegetation and rivers.

    The people are very friendly and welcome us with open arms. They want to give us gifts, but we don't take anything. [ ... ] I traded a Marlboro to an elder yesterday for an Iraqi-made cigarette, and it was OK. He wanted me to take the whole pack, but I insisted he take mine, which he did. He said "Bamerican, Bamerican," and was very happy. They really want us here. You can see it in their eyes. They are very affectionate and appreciative, chanting "Bush, Bush."

    By mid-April, Saddam's regime had collapsed.
    Marine Cpl. Jeffrey B. Starr


    April 17, Baghdad

    Dear Mom & Dad,

    What's up!! Almost home! We leave this godforsaken palace either today, tomorrow or sometime next week. Then we hoof it back to nasty Kuwait. We will be there as long as a month or as short as a week. Either way home is almost here. Most importantly the fighting is over. We got in our last firefight, knock on wood, about 2 days ago. I am fine, I'm in one piece (no purple heart here, thank God), mentally I am still sane. No postwar trauma, [not] too bad anyway.

    I got your two packages, bubble-wrapped ones. Thank you very much, they were perfect. Well that's the latest, I'll hopefully call before I write again. I'm almost home and you can stop worrying.

    I love you guys.

    Mihalakis
    July 7, Baghdad

    How can I possibly put the last 7 days into words? We got into Baghdad on the 2nd of July. It was about an 8-hour drive from the Kuwait border to Baghdad. When we crossed the border it was like entering a new world. The sides of the roads were covered with starving Iraqis begging for food. Kids as young as what looked to be 4 or 5 would run up to the vehicles. We were given a direct order by the company commander not to throw food or water to the starving people because there are too many Iraqis getting run over by our convoys when they run after the food. It is so hard to tell a starving 5-year-old who is begging for food to go away. Every time our convoy would stop, we would be ambushed by kids trying to get food; it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch.

    Finally I gave in. Sitting up in the gunner's hatch, I can see everything. A sickly barefooted 6-year-old approached the vehicle; he looked so sick. He was touching his lips saying "please, please." I told him to go away and he just looked up at me. It looked like he wasn't going to make it much longer in the 133-degree weather we had that day. Again, I shouted "kief!" which is "go" in Arabic, and I pointed. As we drove away, I threw an ice-cold bottle of water out the window to him. Luckily no one saw me.

    I love you guys. And please try not to think too much about it, it sounds a lot worse than it is.

    Mihalakis died of injuries sustained when his Humvee overturned on Dec. 26. He was 18.

    Army First Lt. Kenneth M. Ballard
    July 27, Baghdad

    Things have really started to calm down [ ... ] One of the areas we patrol is largely Christian. They made/make up the middle class. We have little to no anti-American activity, [although] there is a lot more Iraqi on Iraqi violence. With more and more public services coming back on line, people are slowly getting back to normal. [But] no matter how hard we help to get the services back up, it is not fast enough. They don't understand that after 12 years of decay it will take some time, plus they don't want to work. Life is slowly getting better for us as well. Our new base camp (Kamp Krusty) will be finished in October. It is at their old War College. It will have a full-size pool. Our barracks building, which 3rd Infantry Division is still in, will have a private gym for us, [illegible], an Internet café, and last but not least, AC in every room [ ... ]

    Marine Capt. Alan Rowe
    Summer 2003, Najaf (audio recording)

    Right now I'm getting ready for bed. It's been a long day. Got to go out in town, I saw some interesting things [ ... ] I had a meeting at a restaurant and ate Iraqi food, which was very good. We had rice, and we had shish kabobs and we had an interesting meat, kind of a sausage thing, called tikit. [ ... ] There were some beans and some sauce, and we had some yogurt and some cucumbers and tomatoes. And it was really very good.

    [Then] we went over and visited some families who didn't have a place to live and we talked to them about finding a new place to live and they had a lot of kids and I had some candy and I gave it to the kids and they really liked that. There was a little girl about your age, Caitlin, and a boy, about your age, Blake, and they were cute and they smiled and I took my pictures of you and Caitlin out and I showed the pictures of both of you to the kids and they thought that was very nice and they actually kissed the pictures and that's one of their ways of showing respect and kinda like saying hello to you.

    Rowe, 35, and two other Marines were killed by an improvised explosive device on Sept. 3, 2004, in Anbar province. He was promoted to major posthumously.

    Ballard
    August 2003, Baghdad

    There are some times here that you are able to stop and look around you and find a moment of peace. We were crossing the Tigris River at night under a full moon. The light was dancing on the water, a light breeze floated through the trees. You think to yourself how nice this would be with someone special, then flares light up the sky and you see tracer fire off in the distance and the cold slap of reality sets in that you are in the middle of a war zone.

    Ballard
    Aug. 12, Baghdad

    Ok, so things keep changing.

    My company just got traded away to the 82nd Airborne's 2nd Brigade. What that means is we will live at Kamp Krusty but work in the 82nd's area. They have been getting the snot knocked out of them and they asked for tanks, so they sent us. The unit we are going to draws 400-500 gallons of fuel a day. My tanks use 2,500 gallons a day. [ ... ] On one of my tanks I carry as much small-arms ammo as one of their 700-man units. These guys are in for a big shock.

    Ballard
    Aug. 16, Baghdad

    The locals are different in every sector. In our old sectors we were able to build "good" relationships. In our new area it is a very different place: openly hostile is closer to the mark. We view most of the locals as someone to be dealt with and nothing more. Our CO wants us to embrace them with open arms and love our fellow man. Too many of us have a bad taste in our mouths about it all. They have no respect for weapons, each other and life; and if that is the case then how are we supposed to look at them any differently?

    Ballard, 26, died in Najaf on May 30, 2004, when a passing tree branch triggered the unmanned machine gun on his tank.

    On Aug. 19 a suicide truck bomb demolished the U.N. headquarters in Baghdad, killing 24 people and wounding more than 100. The attack signaled to aid workers that any foreigner, not just U.S. troops, was a target.

    Tainsh
    Aug. 29, Baghdad

    It's been a lot of dismounted stuff recently. After 9 hours in the heat with 80 pounds on your back, you don't want to do much except sleep when you get back. [ ... ] I saw the U.N. building today. It's pretty devastating when you see it up close. These people out here are something else. They just don't care that other people are trying to help them. But I guess that's the face of war, and yes, it's still a war. Don't believe everything you see on TV.

    Army Capt. Christopher P. Petty
    Oct. 30, Al Miqdadiyah, 60 miles northeast of Baghdad

    Happy Halloween, sorry it has been awhile since I wrote. Things have been busy. Ramadan began the other day and so far the attacks have increased each day. [ ... ] You will most likely hear about it in the news soon, but an M1 Abrams tank was destroyed last night. Reports are unclear as to what caused it. However, it was clear that 2 U.S. soldiers lost their lives and an acclaimed indestructible tank had its turret blown off. That makes six soldiers killed in our brigade alone in the past four weeks.

    Petty, 33, and four others were killed when their Humvee hit an IED in Najaf on Jan. 5, 2006. He was three weeks into his second tour.

    Tainsh
    Dec. 2, Baghdad

    I tried calling yesterday but got the machine ... We're doing ok just busy hitting the enemy hard lately ... Long days and nights ahead ... Division is saying we'll be home in March ... I know how many days but I can't tell you on an unsecure line ... Gotta go. I'll try to call again.

    Love, Patrick

    On the night of Feb. 11, 2004, Tainsh's patrol was hit by an improvised explosive device; an ambush ensued. His commanding officer wrote afterward: "Although Sgt. Tainsh was immediately mortally wounded, he started laying down suppressive fire in order to secure the area for the medic to move forward. Sgt. Tainsh stopped laying down fire only after he felt the area was secured. He then dropped down and tapped me on the shoulder to let me know he was wounded." He was 33.

    Ellie


  3. #3
    Hidden Enemies

    April 2, 2007 issue - As 2004 dawned, Saddam was in jail and his sons had been killed. But the initial, heady sense of victory continued to crumble. Iraq's civic and economic order had all but ceased to function—and many Iraqis blamed America. In Sunni-dominated cities and towns like Fallujah, shadowy insurgents mounted increasingly deadly attacks on U.S. forces; some were Saddam loyalists, others simply Iraqi nationalists with some military training, still others, radical Islamists from Syria, Saudi Arabia and elsewhere. In late March, a mob killed and burned four American civilians in Fallujah and dragged their bodies through the streets. The next month U.S. forces would engage in bloody house-to-house fighting not just in Fallujah but in Baghdad and Najaf, where supporters of the previously obscure Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr rose up against the occupation.

    The carnage and chaos seemed as if it couldn't possibly get worse. But with each passing month, it did.

    In March, the Marines took over from the Army's 82nd Airborne Division in Fallujah and immediately assumed a more high-profile presence on the streets.

    Marine Capt. Michael D. Martino
    March 22, Fallujah

    These former military guys are the ones probably causing all the trouble. You can't go through the town of Fallujah without being shot at [ ... ] The people away from the Sunni Triangle will wave at you, but the Sunnis will give you the finger and throw rocks at you. These are the little kids too.

    Martino
    April 2, Fallujah

    The marines are taking a different approach to things here, more aggressive. Two nights ago, I was briefly attached to the Light Armored Reconnaissance Vehicles (LAR). Our northern element got ambushed. Big mistake for the enemy, because a C-130 gunship was on station and made mincemeat out of them. I think they were expecting the Marines to run away like the army had in the past, but they have been surprised to see that we stop and fight.

    You may have seen on the news about the American security guys who were burned and paraded around the city. The security guys were the civilian security crew that protected the base at the small camp I was at, to the southeast. I know some of them, but I don't know which ones were killed. I saw the video on TV. I wanted so badly to shoot those bastards parading around the streets. These people are hypocrites. Islam strictly forbids its followers from desecrating the bodies of the dead, even animals. I have no respect for these people who claim Islam is the only true religion and don't even follow the rules of the Koran.

    Army Second Lt. Brian Smith
    April 7, Fallujah

    This first part will be nearly incoherent but I'll send it as I wrote it.

    [ ... ] I do not say that I have not slept. I have. About seven hours in the last forty-eight. Three of those in the turret of my tank.

    This run began when the Marines got their collective asses handed to them in Fallujah last weekend. They were hurting even before the civilians got dragged. Dragging. It amazes me that dragging a corpse could horrify or enrage a population. The corpse doesn't care. It won't turn into a freaking vampire if maltreated after death. Hell, most of the ways I am ... Screw it. I am too tired to bother with cleverness.

    You all know the background better than I do.

    Last Monday we picked up one of the Marine outpost missions while they headed into Fallujah. 12 hour shifts. The drive down there is through some of the most dangerously narrow, canalized terrain in sector. We had two IED spottings on the way out, both later shown not to be IEDs, and had one vehicle throw track when it had to turn around after I ran out of road. [ ... ] I got about three hours of bad sleep in the turret.

    We got back, put the tanks in the barn and started to go to sleep. Then back up, down to the barn and out as Hajji started to attack everything that moved in Khalidiyah. One of Apache [Company]'s Bradleys took a very unlucky RPG hit. The initial report was that the commander had been killed. Every crew in Apache mounted up and stormed Khalidiyah. We assembled in the barn and set out sections as needed. After nightfall we were killing anything that moved.

    When Sadr's followers also revolted, the Americans faced a haunting prospect—a two-front insurgency.

    Army Spc. Justin W. Johnson
    April 8, Baghdad

    A big battle broke out and we were in the middle of it. We had to escort wounded soldiers to another base and were getting shot at. My front right tire got shot out, and after our tire got fixed, on the way back to base, we got ambushed. They missed my truck but hit the one behind me. That night we lost 10 soldiers and 49 got wounded. [ ... ]The next night we took a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of Sadr City around midnight. We had to drive through burning roadblocks, ram cars to get them out of our way and do about 60 mph to get out alive. We were informed that it is no longer a peacekeeping mission, now it is war again!

    Johnson, 22, died on patrol on April 10 when his vehicle was hit by an IED in Sadr City.

    Having completed his first Iraq deployment in April 2003, Corporal Starr returned in March 2004.

    Starr
    April 17, Fallujah

    Holy s--t. I never thought that a week and a half ago I would have been through what I have. A few of my close friends have been hurt and one of them killed, but it hasn't really hit me yet so I am alright. The worst is over.

    This s--t should be done in a few weeks so I can talk to you more then.

    At one point during the fighting, Starr's unit was trapped behind enemy lines. He later wrote an essay describing the incident.

    After moving west a few more streets we turned on around and started heading south. By this time we were shooting at everyone we saw, weapon or not. Next thing I know I am on the floor of the track looking up at a ball of fire. I was covered in blood and had parts of our lieutenant's leg on my face and flak. [ ... ] An armor-piercing RPG [had] penetrated the front left side of our track. [ ... ] The driver [ ... ] didn't know there was a fire and continued heading south. He was lost and the noise of the track [prevented] us from yelling to him and the fire [prevented] us from getting to him and the lieutenant.

    [ ... ] I don't know exactly what time it was but late afternoon is when we dismounted the burning track. As we exited out the hatch of the track we were taking fire from the north, east, and west. That left south into the houses our only direction to egress. Most of us ran across the street to the front lawn of a house and started to return fire. The driver of the track was in shock and wouldn't leave the track. McCarver and our platoon sergeant, Staff Sgt. Segrado, pulled Lt. Ayers from the flames. Garcia had run back for the crew chief but he was trapped inside and unable to escape. The rest of us continued to fire at the enemy who was down every road and in every window like cockroaches. We ran into the house to clear it [ ... ] and 3 of us immediately went to the roof to keep the enemy from coming any closer.

    [ ... ] I noticed the sun was getting closer to setting when RPGs and rockets started hitting the rooftop. We had to fall back inside and downstairs. All of us were in the hallway [ ... ] There we waited. It's hard to say how much time went by before we start-ed hearing them all around us. At first we hoped it was friendly, but it was definitely Arabic.

    Starr was killed by a sniper on May 30, 2005, while on patrol in Ramadi, walking point. He was 22.

    Smith
    April 26, Fallujah

    Try not to kill somebody at night. It is difficult to grasp the experience at night. Tank commanders have a thick layer of technology, and often other soldiers, between them and their targets at all times but after sunset, acquiring, engaging and destroying targets (i.e. people, vehicles, buildings, livestock, what have you) takes on the feel of a video game.

    Hosing down person-shaped, gritty green blobs scampering around in the gunner's sight does not really allow for full appreciation of the impact of the act of ending the life of another human being. Add another layer of separation by ordering someone else to actually perform the act. In the end, I felt and feel nothing. Not a damned thing.

    I was not sure what I expected to feel, much less what I wanted to feel. This is one of the questions about myself I hoped to answer by joining the Army. I am really not satisfied with the answer I found. How can I even appreciate the humanity of the person I had killed if all I ever saw was a green mass lying in the grass? I gave the fire command, the gunner lased then engaged with [the] coax[ial gun] and the target disintegrated.

    For those of you professionally interested, the fire command was nothing more than, "Kill that guy."

    With images of the bloody fighting in Fallujah dominating Arab satellite channels, U.S. commanders signed onto a plan to pull back and allow troops led by one of Saddam's former generals to police the city.

    Martino
    April 28, Fallujah

    I'm back at our camp for 24 hours to get some R&R and resupply myself. I haven't changed my clothes in about a month. I've been living out of a backpack the entire time. [ ... ]

    Right now we are holding back because of the so-called ceasefire [...] I'm not sure how long it will be until something constructive comes from the negotiations. My personal opinion is that we should level the city with air strikes and make it into a parking lot. We are fighting mostly terrorists who don't care about the city and won't negotiate [ ... ]

    I love and miss everyone. Pray for me and my fellow Marines. I look forward to seeing you in October.

    Martino, 32, died on his second tour of duty, when his helicopter was shot down on Nov. 2, 2005. He was promoted posthumously to major.

    Army National Guard Sgt. Frank Carvill
    May 1, Baghdad

    Fighting like this is a disaster for the U.S. and CPA efforts to get Iraq running again. As long as there is a guerrilla war here, then it will be impossible for Iraq to recover from the near endless wars and economic sanctions since 1980. That is the tremendous obstacle in the way of American "success" in bringing peace and prosperity to this unfortunate country. [ ... ]

    Although several of my colleagues would disagree, I don't think we have "lost" the goodwill of the majority of the Iraqi people (yet). While I only have my limited exposure in Baghdad, I think it is accurate, up to a point. But if we keep getting drawn into fights in Sadr City, Fallujah, Najaf, etc., we only feed the propaganda machines of the insurgents who paint us as murderers.

    In late April the world saw the first photos of the prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib.

    Carvill
    May 10, Baghdad

    I am at a complete loss as to what happened with regard to the prisons. The guys I work with simply don't understand what caused this to occur. We have nothing to do with the prisons. [ ... ] We are a National Guard unit. Many of the guys are older, with families and simply want to do the tour and go home. We have been and continue to operate in dangerous and volatile areas with amazing restraint considering we are repeatedly engaged. No one in my unit would have anything to do with what those idiots did. [ ... ] FYI, one of our heavy vehicles got stuck today in soft ground. The local Iraqis came by with a bulldozer and a front-end loader and helped us. The Iraqi guy who organized the vehicle rescue refused to take money. We have not lost yet.

    Carvill, 51, died in Baghdad on June 4, when his convoy was ambushed. As an office worker at the World Trade Center he had helped evacuate the building after the 1993 bombing. He received a posthumous promotion to staff sergeant.

    Smith
    May 11, Fallujah

    I honestly do not remember how many days I spent out there. I am doing my best to ignore the passage of time.

    Eventually, we surrendered and went back to [Camp] Manhattan. It sure looked that way to us on the ground. The Marines pulled back, Iraqis showed up with old Baathist-era flags and tried to cross the bridges we were guarding. We were not allowed to shoot them. This happened about the same time the press learned that detainees were being abused in the prison east of Fallujah. Goody.

    What did Hajji learn that week? First, the U.S. can be defeated. Second, if he surrenders he will be stripped naked, have electrodes attached to his testicles and [be] made to stand in a tub of water. F---ing brilliant. Where is my *******ed propeller-hat? I need to get into the spirit of things.

    Smith
    May 27, Anbar Province

    Hot. Overworked. Temper short. Iraqis stupid. Hajji trying to blow me up. Insert new date and repeat.

    Marine Lance Cpl. Kane M. Funke
    June 2004, Hit

    Hi Mom, sorry it's been so long since I've last called. Listen, I've got some news for you. Now don't worry I'm fine, but I got a story to tell you about today [ ... ] We left in the morning to go do a route clearing patrol on MSR [main supply route] Bronze, the main highway, and I ride in the first vehicle usually but they decided to bring along an interpreter and he took my spot in the first vehicle and they moved me back to the third vehicle. Now the thing about an IED is that it usually hits the second or third vehicle because they use the first and fourth vehicles as kind of an aiming post to know when to blow it. I told them when I first got back there I hated being in that vehicle and that I had a funny feeling about that mission. Well sure enough, on our way back from the patrol, right on Bronze we got hit [...] No one was injured just minor cuts and bruises.

    [ ... ] Earlier tonight we went out on the same kind of mission just different part of the road and there was no interpreter so I got my usual vehicle. I usually sit inside behind the driver but they wanted me up in the turret on the gun today. So I'm the only one exposed to the outside. I told them I was scared and didn't want to go up there. I already had a bad headache from the first one. They wanted me up there because they didn't want me to be in shell shock and they wanted me to get back in the game.

    [ ... ] On our way back to go to Bronze maybe a mile away from the last one another one hit us. This one was bigger. It was a 155 [mm] artillery shell filled with C4 [explosive]. [ ... ] The force of the blast knocked me out and slammed me against the gun, and they said I fell lifelessly down into the hummer. They shook me and turned me all over looking for blood but there was none. Lance Corporal Daniel shook me and I came to, finally, and all I remember him saying is, "FUNKE get back on the gun, damn it! Get back on the gun." I did. I got up and got back on the gun. I was ok. [ ... ] Your boy's alive mom.

    Funke was killed in action in Anbar province on Aug. 13, about two weeks before he was scheduled to leave Iraq.

    Smith
    June 26, Anbar Province

    "There it is again."

    "I see it."

    "What is that?"

    I shook my head to knock loose the sweat collecting at the tip of my nose. The heat was brutal and we still had another three hours to go in the shift. I was pretty sure I knew what Kimmerling was pointing at. An intermittent white flash coming from a second story window or doorway about 300-400 meters away from us. It looked like someone was flashing us with a mirror. This happened sporadically for an hour or so every few shifts when we were in this zone.

    Kids. Screwing around with a mirror. I had ignored it earlier in the year. The heat had drained me of all patience now.

    "Can we shoot it?" This from Sgt. Hise.

    "Yeah. Traverse left. Up. More left. Little higher. That gap right there between the palm trees. No, up higher. More left. Hell with it. That will do. When you see it, engage and kill it."

    We waited. Maybe whoever it was would notice that the tank's cannon was no longer looking down the road but was now pointing directly at him. Maybe he would realize that this is not a game. Maybe, just maybe, he would realize that we were hot and tired and terribly, so terribly frustrated with this place and these people that we would respond to even the slightest provocation with enthusiastic and brutal violence.

    Smith, 30, was shot dead in Al Habbaniyah a week later.

    In September, the death toll for U.S. troops in Iraq passed the 1,000 mark.

    Marine Lance Cpl. Richard Chad Clifton
    Sept. 5, Ramadi

    I've been in Iraq since like last week (it's Sunday now) and it's hot as balls, bro. I'm in Ar Ramadi, in the Al Anbar province. Ghetto s--t hole from hell. We had a convoy the other day through town and there was only serious hate going on there. No smiling children, no waving dumb asses like on TV ... just a bunch of mean-looking young Iraqi males capable of causing me to have a bad day.

    Marine Cpl. Bradley T. Arms
    Oct. 31, Camp Fallujah

    Over this last ops I was really thinking about why I am out here fighting this war and feel it is becoming more clear now. When driving or walking through the small villages the kids run out and cheer us on [ ... ] but as we get to the marketplaces we only get cold stares from the men over 20. [ ... ] It's extremely hard to change hearts that have hated for so long. But as long as we can keep the younger generations openminded then we will win this war, even though the fruits of my labor will not be realized [until] the children of this country rule [ ... ]

    Arms, 20, was shot and killed on Nov. 19 in Fallujah as he went to the aid of fellow Marines during house-to-house fighting.

    Army Sgt. Cari Anne Gasiewicz
    Nov. 3, Abu Ghraib

    Subject: not a good day

    Hi Mom, I just wanted to email you to tell you what happened yesterday [ ... ] Here is the story. At 0900 hours we had a convoy of vehicles passing in front of the prison get hit with a bomb that was planted on the side of the road. Its purpose was to stop the convoy, and then a car loaded with explosives, in our parking lot in front, was suppose to come and hit the convoy. They had people lying in the grass all around the prison and started shooting at the towers. The towers saw what happened and started shooting at the car and the people. They killed the driver of the car bomb and everyone in the convoy was ok.

    At 1230 hours we had a firefight that lasted 45 minutes. All the towers were shooting at the same grass points as in the morning. Well a guy I work with from another office (a civilian) thought someone was knocking on his door. He didn't realize that we had rounds coming into the compound from all around. He opened his door and got shot in the stomach. This morning I found out that he died from his wounds. They stopped the bleeding, but it started up again and they couldn't stop it.

    It has been absolutely crazy here, we got like 400 new soldiers in and they are sleeping all over the place. It has gotten nasty, muddy and wet here too. It has been raining for the past 3 days. [ ... ] Miss and love you guys,

    Gasiewicz, trained to be an Arabic translator, died Dec. 4 in Baqubah, riding in a convoy that was hit by a pair of IEDs. She was 28.

    U.S. forces launched their assault to retake Fallujah on Nov. 7.

    Marine Cpl. Ian Stewart
    Nov. 6, Fallujah (journal entry)

    The battalion commander came to talk to us. He told us it will be a tough fight. Some of these buildings are rigged to blow. Suicide bombers will be out and IEDs will be on the street.

    I am not so much scared as I am VERY AFRAID of the unknown. [ ... ]If I don't get to write again, I would say I died too early. I haven't done enough in my life. I haven't gotten to experience enough. Though I hope I haven't gone in vain.

    A week later he updated his journal during the fighting:

    For seven full days we have been moving through the city doing door-to-door searches and clearing the buildings [ ... ] We find weapons, AK47s and RPGs and knives.

    At night we stay in houses belonging to the people. The first night our interpreter cooked for us food left in the house. It is a good thing the Iraqi people have big families so there is plenty of room to sleep. They have these really soft blankets. [ ... ]

    We are the only ones in the city so the stores are open to us to get candy, soda, and cigarettes. Sometimes I feel bad for the people, but also am mad at them for not fighting for their own freedom.

    Stewart
    Nov. 23 Entry:

    They say the city is not fully cleared now and so we need to press on. That means leaving a comfortable house. [ ... ] After sixteen days we still have yet to shower, eat hot chow, or more importantly use the internet. Supposedly we will be going back for Thanksgiving dinner. That means for sure we will be back for Christmas dinner! Smile.

    Stewart, 21, was ambushed and killed in Fallujah on Dec. 12. Despite his early misgivings, his parents said he came to speak highly of the Iraqi soldiers he knew.

    Marine Lance Cpl. Trevor D. Aston
    January 2005, Haditha Dam

    We're still hitting it hard and working 16-18 hours a day, everyday. [ ... ]The talk about what we're going to do when we get back home is nonstop. A good steak is high on my list.

    We've taken a lot of casualties—three from our company. Good Marines, all of them. It's really hard to say goodbye. I won't kid you, it's taken its toll on us. I'm sure I'll have a few sleepless nights when I get home.

    Thanks for all the care packages, and the car info. Those brochures are dog eared. I think I'm just going to look for a good used truck. After we get back to Austin, I'm going to head your way for a few days and eat all your food, and use up all your hot water!!

    Well, I've got to go now and get back in the fight. I love you, and I'll see you soon.

    Semper Fi,

    Trev

    This letter was never mailed. Aston, 32, died in an accident at the dam on Feb. 22.

    Ellie


  4. #4
    A Glimmer of Hope

    April 2, 2007 issue - By the third year of the war, the white house focused on turning Iraq into a showcase of Middle Eastern democracy. In the first of three elections in 2005, millions of jubilant Iraqis waved their purple-stained fingers for the cameras—a rare triumphal moment. The fact that the vast majority of them were Shiites and Kurds was an ominous sign. As elected politicians wrote a constitution and divvied up ministries, the Sunnis who had not voted were increasingly marginalized. Terrorists like Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi fed off that resentment, launching a horrific series of bombings aimed largely at Shiite civilians in hopes of sparking a civil war.

    For U.S. troops, increasingly ensconced within their huge, relatively secure bases, the violence became a constant but sometimes distant drumbeat, and mission fatigue began to set in.

    Clifton
    Jan. 1, Ramadi

    Hey, sorry I've been a bit absent. I've been trying to find the energy, both physical and mental, to drag my ass over to the internet center and all that it entails. To say I'm exhausted is beating a dead horse with a stick, I know, but s--t ... I'll come home and I'm going to sleep, uninterrupted for three days, except to **** and eat. And maybe not even then.

    Been running some ops, quick little insignificant raids and whatnot. Keeping busy. Everyone is all spazzed out over the lack of direct contact [ ... ] It's like that scary music in a horror movie that keeps building up to a climax but then it's just a cat or something stupid that crawls out from the shadow ... anti-climax, sort of, but keeping with our paranoia.

    [ ... ] I asked one of my buddies what his [New Year's] resolution was. He said to kill one more dude before we leave. Don't think he was joking.

    Missing you,

    Chad

    Iraq's first post-invasion election—for an Assembly to write the new Iraqi constitution—was scheduled for the end of January.

    Marine CPL. Kyle Grimes
    Jan. 16, Firm Base Pickering (Fallujah)

    There will be heightened security for elections. I expect to be busy around that time, just because these people feel safe whenever we are around. I wonder why? I usually get so incredibly bored whenever we are working with civilians. But you also can't trust any of them. I am getting tired of not being able to trust average people. But I really have no choice with this place and an enemy like this. One thing is for sure. I know men that I can trust my life with. That is a great feeling.

    Grimes was one of 31 U.S. service members who died on Jan. 26 in the crash of a CH-53E helicopter near the far western city of Ar Rutbah.

    Army CPL. Stephen McGowan
    Jan. 20, Ramadi

    Well, things are definitely picking up here now. Apparently there is a cell of suicide bombers in the area as well as Mr. Al Zarqawi himself. So we are getting hot and heavy for the elections. Our FOB [forward operating base] was mortared today with one casualty. A suicide bomber hit and killed four soldiers yesterday, and a sniper is out taking shots at us now. So I have a lot of work to do.

    [ ... ] A new, nasty rumor has been floating around lately. Some of the officers are thinking that we may be extended until December for the [parliamentary] elections here. The last unit was extended for these elections, so who knows. So while you're praying, pray that we come home soon as well. I would rather not do another four months on top of the year. But we will stay as long as we have to.

    Clifton
    Jan. 24, Ramadi (journal entry)

    I was on post this morning with Ben and basically we were talking about why the f--- we are here, besides you know, having fun and being bored all the time and people trying to kill us. All this was while aiming weapons at traffic (it's necessary when you have a scoped rifle, and you need to use the scope, don't judge me!).

    I realized, we're in Iraq because it doesn't matter about freeing Iraqis. They will **** away their freedoms [ ... ] It's their culture. But at least all these foreign fighters and extremists now have a battlefield, a place to stick it to us Americans. And that's fine with me. I'd rather fight them here than have my family killed in a bombing or [have] snipers gun down an innocent in the street [in America]. So basically, we're here to be like ... f---ing bring it. Its better here than home, you know?

    Pick your battles.

    Clifton
    Jan. 27, Ramadi (instant-message exchange)

    IT'S ROB: Did you hear about that guy ... a Marine who went nuts and killed cops back home? He was stationed at Pendleton and he didn't want to go back.

    [CLIFTON]: Yeah, King knows him from 2/4.

    IT'S ROB: No s--t!

    [CLIFTON]: They lived with us before the war ... we replaced them here ... cool guys ... we turned into them ... when we got here, everyone was like, damn these guys are depressed. They shoot at everything ... we won't do that. Here we are now. If it moves, it dies. We are so those guys ...

    Clifton, 19, was killed on Feb. 3 in Anbar province. He would have made corporal in March.

    McGowan
    Feb. 1, Ramadi

    Well the elections are over, as I'm sure you have seen on CNN. [ ... ] The only unfortunate part was that only 1,500 people voted. That's about half of one percent of the city's population. So I wouldn't necessarily call it a success, but it was the first real election here. [ ... ] Some people are disappointed at the election turnout, but you have to understand the society we're dealing with. These people have never had even a taste of the freedom we are offering them. They have never had a country of their own that was worth fighting for. It's like offering a book of wisdom to a blind man. It's useless without helping them along. But, I do know this country will be left better than we found it. So I will continue to throw on my flak vest and pick up my weapon each day, head out the gate, and try to get them one step closer to freedom, and myself one step closer to home. Take care, all.

    McGowan
    Feb. 5, Ramadi

    Just a quickie today. Things have calmed down a little since the elections. And since it's been raining recently, hajji just doesn't want to come out and play. So, I have been catching up on sleep and getting back to my old schedule in the gym.

    Army CW4 Matthew Scott Lourey
    Feb. 9, Balad

    I have 2 days left at Balad air Field, then it is a move north. I am looking forward to the change. I expect the danger level to remain the same. I have already operated in the [new] area a couple of times, it actually borders the sector we patrol, so it isn't much of a change. Enough to make me look forward to it, though. [ ... ] I never have much to say because things seem so stagnant.

    Lourey and a fellow soldier died on May 27, a day after their Kiowa Warrior helicopter crashed under small-arms fire in Buhriz.

    McGowan
    Feb. 11, Ramadi

    I hate always saying the things are the same here, but they are. Sometimes the good guys get hurt, sometimes we get the bad guys. We have done a couple of raids the past few days so that's about normal. The raids we go on are becoming routine for me. I know they must seem exciting to people back home, but the adrenaline isn't quite the same any more for me.

    McGowan, 26, and three other soldiers were killed by an IED that hit their vehicle inRamadi on March 4.

    Army Sgt. Kenneth Levi Ridgley
    Feb. 13, Mosul

    Hi honey,

    I hope you have a good Valentine's Day. I love you sooo much! I can't wait for all this to be over. Five guys got hurt today. They were dismounted (walking) in the city and a car came at them, shooting out the windows. A single drive by killed an Iraqi soldier, shot a little kid in the face, sent two guys to Germany, then home. Luckily the others just had minor shrapnel injuries. One of my snowboarding buddies was shot in the abdomen. He's doing OK, but will be going home. The other guy was shot in the leg. Sometimes I don't know what to think about all of this. It seems so senseless that all this bloody combat will ever solve anything.

    Ridgley was shot and killed in Mosul on March 30. He was awarded a posthumous Silver Star.

    Army col. Theodore Westhusing
    April 14, Baghdad

    It is really an eye-opener how the real person comes out over here in battle, the heroics by so many ... At times, things appear suspicious with a few [Iraqis] we are training and working with, and we don't know how they are going to react. Remember, some were Saddam's elite army special forces and guards, who never liked us and now we work/fight side by side. There is a chance the enemy could be right beside you.

    Westhusing
    May 10, Baghdad

    Life is worthless over here to so many. Killing everywhere and always ongoing. So many people don't care and have appeared to have given up. But I won't, I need to be here to help them ...

    Westhusing, 44, died in an apparent suicide on June 5. He was less than a month away from going home.

    Army National Guard SPC. John f. Thomas
    June 12, Baghdad

    Dear granddaddy and Manolita,

    I hope all is well when this letter reaches you. All is well with me. [ ... ] So far we have only lost soldiers to injuries and family problems. There is a soldier who went home for 10 days to see his newborn. That was 18 days ago now. We are assuming he has no plans of returning.

    Thomas, 33, was killed by an IED on July 24 while on patrol in Baghdad. He was promoted posthumously to sergeant.

    Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Travis L. Youngblood
    June 23, Anbar Province

    I'm going to need a lot of support from you guys when I get home. I have accepted the fact that any day I'm here could be the day I die. That doesn't bother me anymore. I've come so close to dying on at least 10 different occasions, I figure I can keep my luck, or whatever's working, up until I leave. I've had RPGs fly within inches of me. I've seen the guys they've hit. It blew them to pieces. We literally had to move rocks and debris to find hands, legs and other parts so we could send them home. I've had roadside bombs explode next to me, but they've been placed wrong, so I didn't get hurt [ ... ] I've been shot at countless times, I mean machinegun fire pinging and zipping past me. I had the goggles on my helmet shot.

    Ever since the AAV (the s--tty armor[ed] tank-tread troop carrier we ride in) got blown up and I ran through the fire and exploding rounds/rockets/grenade/explosives that were on fire to pull out bodies of guys that I knew were dead, I can't sleep for s--t. Seeing guys with third-degree burns so bad that the skin comes off when you touch them, screaming bloody murder, really has a habit of f---ing you up. [ ... ] Just remember, I love you! And I'm doing everything possible to make sure I come home in September or October or whenever they turn us loose from here. [ ... ]

    Love, Travis

    Youngblood, 26, a Navy medic assigned to a Marine reserve unit, died on July 21 of injuries sustained in an IED explosion in Hit.

    Army PFC. Marc Delgado
    Oct. 19, Baghdad

    Hey mom. Sorry it's been so long since I've written. But we've been working 12-hour days and then doing other stuff on top of that, so writing to you is hard. I'm sorry. But I took the time to write you [now] because I'm tired anyway and I don't really care anymore. I'll just be tired ... I do the same thing everyday so any news is new news to me ... Well, I can barely keep my eyes open so I'm gonna go. Love you, mom. I'll see you in about 3 months or so.

    Delgado, 21, was killed on Nov. 24 in Baghdad when an IED detonated near his Humvee, causing it to flip into a canal.

    Army Capt. Ian P. Weikel
    Dec. 15, at Taji

    Please pray that I stop worrying about the IEDs and such. It's good to have a healthy sense of fear, but with all the focus and bad thoughts I think that it's making me dwell on it too much and that's not a good thing. It doesn't make me effective as a leader. It gets back to trusting God. Please pray that I learn and pray to put this whole deployment in his hands [ ... ]

    Weikel, 31, was killed by an IED on April 18, 2006, in Balad.

    Ellie


  5. #5
    A Soldier's Journey: Stephen M. McGowan
    From Iraq, a fallen American serviceman chronicled his ventures electronically.

    Newsweek

    March 25, 2007 - In 2004, Army Cpl. Stephen M. McGowan spent some time in Kuwait before being deployed to Iraq. The following are unedited excerpts from his e-mails to family and friends from the last year of his life.

    Thank God for Subway
    8/08/04
    Hey everyone,

    Just a quick note. I found an opening at the internet cafe so I jumped on it. I am in Kuwait and doing fine. We got here at 326 am and it was 98 degrees. I have sand in every orifice thanks to the storm that came while we were getting our bags. and I saw my first camel outside of the zoo today. Pretty eventful so far. Oh and my first meal in country was subway if you can believe it. Steak and cheese. Thank God for American commercialism and the free economy. Take care all and I will contact again as soon as possible. All my love,
    Steve

    Mortars Every Day
    9/10/04
    Hey Everyone,
    Well if you haven't figured it out yet or you are new to the mailing list [from Iraq], I have little opportunity to write. So, I send out these mass emails with personal notes at the bottom. SO here's the latest:

    I have just returned from an OP (observation patrol). In the past 4 days I have gotten 6 hours sleep. Check that, I had 6 hours off and 4 hours sleep. So I have been busy to say the least. Things have been crazy here, but should calm down soon. I have been out on OP's, PSD's (being a bodyguard for the brass), and IED hunting as well as QRF (quick reaction forces). Our first casualties came the second day we were here. It seems hadji is testing the "new unit" he sees patrolling now. One of our HUMVEE's was hit with an IED. One soldier took shrapnel in the leg, one in the arm, one (CPL Kruass a medic) burst his eardrum. But, two civilians were hurt. One died. Then a soldier got shot in the face. The bullet went right through his cheeks. All he lost were some teeth. One sergeant died the other day from an IED. He was too far out of the hatch and caught shrapnel in the face. Tonight we took direct contact and went into the city to search the nearby houses. And after all that, when our shift was over, we came back in the gate and took indirect mortar fire. The rounds hit about 60 meters to our front and to out right. I'm getting used to that though. Mortars come in everyday. Sometimes you just shrug it off and sometimes you seek cover.

    We went into downtown Ramadi a couple of times. The people down there do not like us and it is apparent on their faces. Kids throw rocks at us too. There were signs saying "death to the occupiers " and American flags drawn with swastikas instead of stars.

    I got a bunch of packages recently so I am getting mail now. I even moved into a new room. It has AC (thank God) and concrete walls. A lot better than the tents we've been living in.

    I have a mission tomorrow. We have to guard the battalion commander while he goes to division HQ. HQ is one of Saddam's former palaces by the way. It's looks awesome even though it's bombed out on the back side. I'll send pics.

    Well I have to run and get some sleep. I will write when I can. I love you all and hope my fellow soldiers are well.

    Send Letters
    9/17/04
    Hey everyone,

    I have been receiving numerous emails from you all, and I appreciate it. I look forward to my mailbox every time I can sit down on a computer. So thank you to all. Most of you are asking if you can send things for the troops here. So I will say this. For the most part we are well stocked on personal supplies. Wet wipes, power bars, snacks and so forth are still greatly appreciated. However, I think the thing that is most beneficial is contact from home. Letters or cards mean a lot to us. It makes our jobs easier when we know that we are remembered back home. So if any of you are interested I would be happy to email you a list of names you could write to.

    Anyway, things are still good here. We have anticipated some increased resistance as the elections draw nearer, but we haven't seen much yet. Hopefully, we won't. There is talk now of sending soldiers home on R and R. We all put in our preferences and are waiting to hear back. So maybe in a couple of months you will see my smiling face again.
    Love Stephen.

    Moving to Fallujah?
    9/25/04
    Hi Everyone,
    Well here's the latest: The recent talk around the campfire is that we may be moving to Fallujah. This would be a major undertaking considering we just got settled here. So what they are going to do is send us to Fallujah for a week long mission. If they decide that they want us there permanently then we will move later. So we will see.

    When Someone Dies
    10/07/04
    Hey Everyone,
    Well it looks like the move to Fallujah will be delayed for a little while. The Marines want a second chance at securing it. They don't want to give it to a bunch of Army guys and lose face. … Same old same old with the mortar attacks and stuff. I'm just plugging away at the time trying to make it to leave. By the way, sorry for the lapse between emails. The Army has a policy here. When someone dies they shut off the internet and phones. That way no one notifies the family before the Army does. So it has been down lately and I couldn't get back to you all sooner. I hope all is well with you all. Take care and God Bless.
    Stephen

    More Mortars
    10/20/04
    Hey Everyone,
    Things are getting a bit more intense here. We had a mortar attack yesterday that came in close enough for it to blow out the windows in my room. One of the medics was walking near the battalion office and got hit. He was MEDEVACed out to Baghdad, but he will most likely lose his leg. His name is CPL Luke, so pray for him. … An OP saw where the rounds came from so we went after the guys who did it. We captured one and killed the other. They were outside a local sheiks house and he came out to talk to us. We were about to search his house but he handed my Platoon Seargent a SAT phone and the CIA was on the other end. Turns out the sheik was a friendly and was protected from on high.

    Other than that things are the same here. The weather is getting a little colder. It gets to be about 60 degrees at night now. It feels like freezing compared to the 100 degree days though. And it actually rained for the first time. It only lasted for about 5 minutes, but it's the first precipitation we have had. I'm a little scared to come home in March. I think the weather might kill me. Well that's it for now. Take care all and of course all my love.

    Iraqi Soldiers Graduate
    10/25/04
    Hey Everyone,
    Well some good news... My buddy Cpl. Luke will be keeping his leg and starting rehab soon. So thank you for the prayers, it seems they worked. … I went to Fallujah the other day for an escort. We were transporting a platoon of newly graduated Iraqi soldiers. They had just completed their training with the Marines and are being sent to various areas to begin securing their homeland. They were really excited. It reminded me of when I graduated basic training. It was great to see something like that. And it's great to know that these guys are the ones who will be securing their country for the future. They were so proud. My seargent equated it to being part of the Revolutionary War for us. Sounds about right. And they were excited to speak to us with the basic English that they have learned. It was pretty cool. Anyway, that is the latest. I hope everyone is well and I will write again soon.
    Stephen

    Stolen Addresses
    11/5/04
    Hey Everyone,
    We just completed a cordon and search on a very large section of the town. We found some weapons and money as usual. We also found a person we believe to be one of the snipers. But the most troubling thing was a box of addresses we found. Apparently, someone paid a base worker to dump our trash in a certain spot. And then someone else came by and took the return address labels off mail that had been sent to the troops. A list was made of who was on it, and I wasn't, but exercise caution in opening any packages that look suspicious.

    On a lighter note, we received no contact on the raid. Actually people were very accomodating. I even got a chance to play with some of the kids. Some of the younger females were also entertained by us. It just proves boys will be boys and girls will blush and flirt with them.
    Stephen

    What I Want for Christmas
    12/5/04
    Hey Everyone,
    A lot of people have been asking me what I want for Christmas. Well I have to say nothing. Unless, I go Tiny Tim and say peace on Earth. But seriously, don't send me anything. I have been getting so many packages from you all that I had to buy an extra footlocker to hold all the snacks and stuff. And now the footlocker is full too. I feel like a fat kid at weight loss camp. I'm hiding Twinkies in my sock drawer now. I appreciate it all, but I would rather do something different for Christmas. Instead of sending me something, send a toy for one of the kids here. Or make a donation to a charity. I am blessed enough to have everything I need, so let's take care of those who don't. Ok that's it. Take care and of course all my love.
    Stephen

    Escorting Santa
    12/25/04
    Merry Christmas Everyone,
    Well the latest here is pretty exciting. In the past few days we have gotten a lot accomplished. First we captured the group associated with the two [weapons] caches we found last. Out of the 12, 9 of them were mid to high level insurgents. Two days later we captured 13 males out of which 11 were mid to high level insurgents. One was even an Al-Qedia member. So we were pretty happy. Two days from now I will be pinned with my combat medical badge. I will be representing the medical platoon in the ceremony. So I'm pretty psyched. I'll try and get pics.

    It's a little rainy today, but I can't complain. We've been on one mission today. We escourted Santa to a combat outpost so he could visit the soldiers. Later we will be running out chow to everyone who has to miss dinner. So far its been a quiet day and I hope it stays that way.

    Well I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and and Happy New Year. I wish I could be there. Take care and enjoy. I will be kicking back today with two beers I hope. That's our Christms gift. And it's just what I wanted. I love you all and wish you the best.
    Stephen

    Hit By IED
    1/11/2005
    Hey Everyone,
    Well things have been a little hectic lately. That's why I haven't written in a bit. Good news first: I got hit with another IED the other day. It went off next to my truck, but we were all confused about what it was because it didn't sound like a bomb. … It turns out only the blasting cap went off on the device and the 155 round didn't detonate. If it had we would all be in a lot of trouble right now. So that's good news. Bad news: A commanding officer here was hit with an IED yesterday and it doesn't look good. Everything that could be done was, but he's only been given a 40 percent chance of making it.

    We have done quite a few missions lately for the humanitarian effort. And it is starting to pay off. Business is increasing in the area, and electricity and water are almost completely restored for the entire city. So hopefully things will be perfect by the time we leave.

    Some of the female medics I know have signed up to be in the "Lioness" program. The Lionesses go with infantry units and deal with the women and children they come in contact with during raids etc. I will be teaching a class for them on operating in close combat. It's kind of funny since I'm a medic. But, I was requested because, as scouts, we are outside the FOB [Forward Operating Base] more than anyone else. So I will be passing on some of my experience here.

    I hope all is well back in the States. I miss you all and hope to see you soon.
    Love Stephen

    The Elections
    2/01/05
    Hello to Everyone,
    Well the elections are over, as I'm sure you have seen on CNN. Thankfully, they went off with little interuption. Only a few small problems, but nothing too big. The only unfortunate part was that only 1500 people voted. That's about half of one percent of the city's population. So I wouldn't necessarily call it a success, but it was the first real election here. So now they can begin to write their constitution. Next December will be the presidential elections. … Some people are disappointed at the election turnout, but you have to understand the society we're dealing with. These people have never had even a taste of the freedom we are offering them. They have never had a country of their own that was worth fighting for. It's like offering a book of wisdom to a blind man. It's useless without helping them along. But, I do know this country will be left better than we found it. So I will continue to throw on my flak vest and pick up my weapon each day, head out the gate, and try to get them one step closer to freedom, and myself one step closer to home. Take care all.
    Stephen

    A ‘Funny' Thing Happened
    2/11/05
    Hello Everyone,
    Cruel irony reared it's ugly head the other day. ... A buddy of mine, Sgt. Pope, got hit with an IED and took shrapnel in the foot. He's fine, but he got sent to Germany for some surgery. The "funny" thing was it was one day before he went on leave. So my fingers are crossed that I don't share the same fate because I laughed at him. So I hope my Irish luck holds out. That seems to be it for now. I'm still counting down the days (1 until I can see you all again. Hope this finds you all well.
    Stephen

    High-Risk Operation
    2/18/05
    Hey Everyone,
    Well, the latest for me is I will be going to an undisclosed location for a 2 week operation. It is a high priority/high risk deal. This is one you should see on CNN soon. I will not be returning to the FOB during this time so emails and phone calls will not happen. I have asked about what will happen if I am supposed to leave in the top of next month for leave, but they have no answer for me. That means I will be pushed back. So my battalion is living up to its reputation for screwing the soldier. So I don't know what to tell you all about leave. As soon as I know, you will know. I will be leaving tomorrow so don't bother writing back. Take care all and hopefully I will see you soon.
    Stephen

    Leave Date Given
    3/2/05
    Hello Everyone,
    Well the mission I was on isn't over, but my part is. So when the rest of the elements make their way back in the next few days, I will be able to tell you what all the hoopla was about. … Unfortunately, it's hard to keep up with the losses we sustain. On our most recent mission, a friend of mine was killed. He was a guy I played rugby with in Korea. He was hit in the neck with a mortar during an attack. The good news was that the round didn't explode so five other soldiers walked away from it. I can only hope to do this job long enough to catch the insurgents who did it.

    On a lighter note, I have been given a leave date. I am supposed to leave country on the 22nd of March. That should put me in the States around the 25th. As the day gets closer, I will be more certain of times and dates. So keep checking the email. I'm sure you can imagine that I am pretty excited. So hopefully we will be tossing back a few beers together in 3 weeks. Until then, I send all my love to you all.
    Stephen

    McGowan and three other Marines were killed by an IED that hit their vehicle in Ramadi on March 4. McGowan became known as the 'Beanie Baby' soldier because he often handed out the small plush toys to Iraqi children.

    Ellie


  6. #6
    Things Fall Apart

    Newsweek

    April 2, 2007 issue - The air changed early on the morning of Feb. 22, 2006. That day a gang of saboteurs, presumably Sunni, destroyed one of the holiest shrines of Shiite Islam, the gold-domed Askariya Mosque in Samarra. The restraint that Shiites had demonstrated in the face of insurgent attacks quickly evaporated. Over the coming months, more and more corpses turned up in the alleys and vacant lots of Baghdad, many of them bound and bearing marks of torture. Families fled mixed neighborhoods for the safety of sectarian enclaves—or left the country entirely. Roughly 10,000 civilians were killed in the capital in the year's last four months alone.

    Worse, the death squads were known to have infiltrated Iraq's uniformed security forces, especially the police. The Pentagon's exit plans depended on training and arming those Iraqi troops. But how could America dare to leave behind a covert army of ethnic cleansers whose members were trained and equipped by the U.S. military?

    Marine Pfc. Rex Page
    Feb. 24, Fallujah

    Hey guys,

    How are things going at home? Warm here, like in the 80s. And they're talking about a civil war here now, with the bombings of the [Samarra] mosque. People are flocking to the city. We had to shut down one of the entry points to the city this morning because too many people were trying to come in.

    Page, 21, was standing watch on a rooftop in Fallujah on the night of June 28 when he was killed by a sniper. He was promoted posthumously to lance corporal.

    Army Capt. Jason Hamill
    March 5, Baghdad

    Yeah, s--t's been pretty crazy. Locals have been out of control because the Golden (Shia) Mosque was blown up. [ ... ] There is going to have to be a civil war. It has to happen. If it happens while we're here, so what. Our stance is we're not going to get involved. We'll pull back and overwatch. [ ... ] The Shia are upset, though, that we're here to bring stability to the area and we are not doing it (not taking their side I mean), so they also sometimes attack us to get the message across. We can deal with it.

    Hamill, 31, and two other soldiers died on Nov. 26 in Baghdad when an EFP (explosively formed projectile) pierced their armored vehicle. He was scheduled to go home the next day.

    Army First Lt. Amos C. R. Bock
    March 12, Baghdad

    The best we can tell is it was the work of hardcore Sunnis, think Al Qaeda types. So who gets the blame? That's right, us. I have actually heard out on the streets where some of these people think it was an American suicide bomber. Since that is one of our favorite tactics, I can see how the average hajji would come up with this idea. But on the [off] chance that the Americans didn't have anything to do with it, the Shia were going to burn a couple of Sunni mosques and kill a few Sunnis just to be on the safe side. The Sunnis are now worried about random violence aimed at them, so they start shooting up random cars that come into their neighborhoods, including police cars.

    Now for the government response. A 20-hour curfew will be put into effect and enforced by the Iraqi Security Forces. These forces include the Iraqi Police (IP) and Public Order Battalions (POB) in our area. These wonderful forces are under the Ministry of Interior, which is a hotbed of militant Shia groups out of Iran. Now, the IP and POB are the ones that have been given an order by their government to protect the Sunni neighborhoods against reprisal attacks, and orders by their religious leaders to kill Sunnis. This is a no-brainer: they go about killing Sunnis and shooting up local mosques. The few who aren't actively involved in the violence refuse to do their jobs and stop the violence. The curfew may have worked in some parts of the country—think Green Zone—but it was a complete bust for the first three days here.

    That same day Bock wrote a separate e-mail to his uncle:

    Lynn,

    I just shot out the normal long email, but will fill in the gaps. First, for the day of the bombing. One of our [platoons] found the Mahdi [Army] killing locals just outside the FOB. A small firefight ensued and the Mahdi got the worst of it. They killed between 5-7 [militiamen], wounded probably [twice] that many and captured four. I ended up getting the mission to transport the prisoners later on that night along with my normal patrol. Two of them were IP. I wonder if they will get fired or promoted because of the incident. Since then the number of bombings in our area has taken off. We are seeing them every other day at least, and the route into work is not improving. They blew the s--t out of an M1 yesterday right outside of the FOB. [ ... ] We are waking up to explosions every morning at this point.

    Bock, 24, was killed by an IED in Baghdad on Oct. 23.

    Army Capt. Blake Russell
    Mar. 13, Baghdad area (instant-message exchange)

    BELLINDA (9:18:14 AM) How do you feel about those Mahdi guys?

    BELLINDA (9:18:26 AM) Good thing? Bad thing?

    BLAKE (9:18:38 AM) I hate them

    BLAKE (9:18:43 AM) They are a cancer

    BELLINDA (9:19:07 AM) Are they just like a big gang or something?

    BELLINDA (9:19:30 AM) Going only after the Sunni?

    BLAKE (9:19:32 AM) Yes

    BELLINDA (9:20:22 AM) The only story I had heard about them said that they had attacked a group of Sunnis that had been known to sympathize with U.S. attackers

    BLAKE (9:20:16 AM) They 'protect' Shia

    BELLINDA (9:20:34 AM) So they are like thugs then?

    BLAKE (9:20:52 AM) They suck

    [ ... ]

    BELLINDA (9:23:47 AM) Are most of the IA [Iraqi Army] Shia?

    BLAKE (9:24:23 AM) Yes

    BELLINDA (9:25:02 AM) I always wonder how they feel about their own population and the things going on there

    BLAKE (9:26:36 AM) Like everyone, if they are educated they understand the complexities of civil society but the uneducated are easily manipulated

    BLAKE (9:26:53 AM) It's always easier to hate what you don't understand

    BELLINDA (9:27:16 AM) That is why people like Saddam try to keep their people uneducated....

    BLAKE (9:27:30 AM) Yes

    BELLINDA (9:27:55 AM) See, you are knee deep in psychology and sociology there

    BELLINDA (9:28:08 AM) You thought you had it bad at home!!!

    BLAKE (9:28:20 AM) Yes I am

    BLAKE (9:28:25 AM) You are rubbing off on me

    Russell, 35, died July 22 from an explosion while investigating a munitions cache outside Baghdad. He was on his second tour.

    Army Maj. David G. Taylor Jr.
    Aug. 9, Naghdad (journal for his newborn son)

    It occurred to me again that I don't know how old you'll be when you read this. It wouldn't do to write things an 18-year-old might understand if you read this when you're five. I think I'll assume you're young when you read this. Anything you don't understand, we can talk about when you're older.

    That was on my mind the other night when I was sitting in my HMMWV [Humvee] on a street in Baghdad, waiting for one of our companies to raid a suspected militia warehouse. It's a bad part of town. It was 0300, I was tired, and I started thinking of some of the more complicated aspects of this fight here.

    [ ... ] We were raiding a place reputed to be where one of the Shia militias stores rockets, IEDs, and small-arms weapons. We were the Shia's saviors when we arrived in 2003. Back then, only disgruntled Sunnis who were loyal to Saddam attacked us. Now it's kind of the other way around.

    Shia militias kill Sunnis. Sunni militias kill Shia. Foreign terrorists kill them both to incite more Shia/Sunni violence, hoping for a civil war. All of them target U.S. forces, but the Shia and Sunni aren't bold enough yet to admit they do it. [ ... ] It's annoyingly complicated [...]

    So what does all this have to do with you? Well, in my sleep-deprived frame of mind the other night, not knowing if we were about to get into a fight, I thought it was going to be very important for your mom and me to help you through the moral and ethical ambiguities in the world. Everything seems to be more complicated as time goes by. It's probably hard for some people to not just throw up their hands and go with whatever "everyone" else thinks on a complicated moral question. It's our job to arm you to know the right thing to [do], in all situations [ ... ]

    But how do you live those things in a place like this? Being gentle gets you killed here. [ ... ]

    Army Maj. Michael Mundell
    Sept. 1, Fallujah

    The question has been asked, by many of you, what [this place] is like. Try to imagine this: If you go out in your front yard, take a weapon with you and stare REAL careful at all the neighbors' houses. One of them may be on the roof, trying to snipe you. Also, don't stay out too long—someone down the road just might lob a few mortars at you, or drive by and fire some machine guns, or perhaps shoot an RPG rocket. So, if you are outside, be armed and know where the closest cover is—all the time. If you get in your car to go to the grocery, you can never ever go by yourself—you gotta have at least two cars and at least three people in each one. And make sure that at least one of your passengers is a medic. [ ... ]

    The very second you leave the driveway, everything that is not immediately recognizable is dangerous. Is that a trash bag? An empty box? Or is it a command-detonated bomb. [ ... ] Never let any other car get close to you—EVER. Check them out closely. Is it another grocery-bound traveler? Or a car bomb. Maybe they have a machine gun sticking out the back. If they get too close, wave a flag at them, shoot a flare at them, honk the horn and blink your lights. If they don't move, or keep driving at you, you kill them. Period. Because if none of that works, they are certainly going to try to kill you. That is what it's like here.

    In September, as sectarian killings continued to mount, thousands of troops were sent to Baghdad in one more failed attempt to quell the violence. Among them were the members of the 172nd Stryker Brigade, whose tours were abruptly extended.

    Army Sgt. Kraig Foyteck
    Sept. 10, Baghdad

    ... Today we had a big meeting and they pretty much said the only reason we are here is to show the terrorist what we can do. [That way] the terror-ist doesn't want to fight us. Blah blah... Then he said he doesn't know when we will go home but we will not get extended a second time. Apparently everything is a secret, so they aren't telling us much.

    Mundell
    Sept. 14, Fallujah

    Audrey once asked me what the attitude of the troops is over here, about the war, about the President and so on. I have to say, it's pretty darn cynical. You can't see what we see every day (like today, dead kids [killed by an IED]) and not get a little cynical about it all. High-minded political phrases sound pretty hollow out here. Our standard joke is "we are doing (whatever it is) as our part in the global war on anti-terrorism." This isn't to say that any of us doubt that we are doing the right thing—we don't. It's just that things look a lot different down here at the point of "W"'s spear. The ones at home rattling the loudest saber aren't here helping load dead kids into an ambulance. WE are. And that just sucks, I gotta tell you.

    Taylor
    Sept. 19, Baghdad (journal entry)

    Found out a few days ago we'll be pulling out of Baghdad about a month from now. It's pretty good news and also bad news at the same time. We'll all be glad to get out of here. I can't wait to get home to you and your mom. [ ... ] But we all hate to leave an unfinished job. This place isn't ready to stand on its own yet.

    Army Staff Sgt. Ronald Lee Paulsen
    Oct. 2, Tarmiya

    Remember when I told ya that as the forces swept through Baghdad the bad guys would move to the surrounding areas? Well, guess what. They're here. For the last two weeks, the camp has been mortared daily. We lost one of our CA [civil affairs] teams to a roadside bomb. I'm really getting ****ed off. [ ... ] You have to hand it to the U.S. Army, though. We're training the best terrorists in the world. We drive around passing out money and building things, and the enemy practices their bomb-planting skills. Sometimes they hit, sometimes they miss. They're getting really good, though.

    Paulsen died of injuries from an IED in Tarmiya, a small town about 40 miles up the Tigris from Baghdad, on Oct. 17. He was 53.

    Mundell
    Oct. 5, Fallujah

    It wouldn't be so bad if we were taking an eye for an eye, but we're not. They won't stand and fight us, for obvious reasons—we outgun them, for one. This one injury here and two casualties there crap is really wearing me out. Worse, the jundees [grunts] are starting to get restless with the populace. Few, if any, of our [Iraqi Army trainees] are from this area. Most of them are from down south, from Nasiriyah and Basra. They are Shiite, and the people here are Sunni, so there is enough tension as it is. This faceless bombing stuff is just making it worse and worse.

    Taylor
    Oct. 17, Baghdad (journal entry)

    Just talked to your mom. I could hear you crying a bit in the background. You were hungry.

    It made me think of the week you were born. I'd hold you on my chest. You would do this thing when you were hungry—the women called it "rooting." Like a pig roots around for truffles. You would push your head back from my chest and then start bouncing it against me, over and over. Your mouth would start going like you were trying to nurse. Your head would move left and right, back and forth. It was entirely instinct, but you were so determined and so alive. It also was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. I never failed to laugh when you'd start. I don't think I could ever imagine it and not smile. I'm smiling now, even.

    And today was a brutal day across Baghdad. I responded 5 minutes after a suicide bomber drove a bomb into a National Police checkpoint. Blew it to smithereens. Severely wounded about a dozen, and half of them surely died later. They were a mess. Killed one outright. As we were securing the area and treating those still alive, we took small arms fire. ... Anyway, after all that, I imagine you rooting around and I can smile again.

    Taylor, 37, was killed by an IED in Baghdad on Oct. 22.

    Mundell
    Oct. 20, Fallujah

    This is the sort of thing that goes on here. A couple weeks ago, Major Mouhammed, commander of headquarters company, got kidnapped in Baghdad while he was on leave. They let him go the next day. Two days ago, the [Iraqi] battalion doctor was murdered there and Maj. Lathe, 1st Company commander, was badly wounded when he went to identify the body. My guy, Captain Achmed, is late coming back from leave because he was threatened and had to move his family. Nice place, isn't it?

    Foyteck
    Oct. 21, Baghdad

    [in] Mosul we were being at-tacked every day. Out here we are not the targets. It's one religion against an-other, we are just caught in the middle. However, if we are in the way, they will attempt to get rid of us as well. The problem here is they [the officers in charge] are limiting what we are "allowed" to do. ... If we get shot at, they want us to run. I mean, what kind of job does that mean we are doing? We take away bombs from people but we are not allowed to arrest them. Doesn't make much sense.

    Foyteck, 26, was shot and killed on Oct. 30 while searching a house for weapons in one of Baghdad's more prosperous neighborhoods.

    Mundell
    Nov. 8, Fallujah

    One more thing. I hope that no one is making any decisions about the war based on what I am saying. I don't know what's going on in Baghdad or Ramadi or Mosul or anywhere else. You all have more access to news than I do. I can only tell you what I see, hear, think or experience. I don't have the vaguest idea as to who is winning this war, and I don't care. My job is to bring home my boys and I will do whatever I have to in order to accomplish that. Lance Corporal Danny Catron, all of 19, his wife (1 and their new baby are counting on me not to screw it up here. I could care less what is going on in Baghdad. Or anywhere else.

    Mundell, 47, was killed by an IED in Fallujah on Jan. 5, 2007. (Corporal Catron is still serving in Iraq and is due to return home soon.)

    Army Sgt. William Sigua
    Nov. 14, Fob Summerall, outside Bayji

    Mom,

    [ ... ] Sure, by the time we leave from this deployment we might turn this city around, but you cannot erase the deep-[seated] hatred between the [groups here]. They have been mercilessly slaughtering each other for long before this war has been going on. No amount of American influence will be able to remedy that.

    But I still don't think we should pull out anytime soon. Sure, Americans are going to die, and the soldiers will complain. But if you were ignorant enough to enlist into the Army hoping to stay in the comfort of the U.S. your whole military career you would be wrong. [ ... ] I am honored to have the opportunity to give back to the country that has given me so much, and anyone who thinks differently should be ashamed of themselves. If I do not come back from this deployment, you can tell people that you are proud of me, and I of myself.

    Sigua was killed by small-arms fire in Bayji, midway between Ramadi and Mosul, on Jan. 31, 2007. He was 21 years old.

    As of press time, approximately 3,230 U.S. servicemen and -women have lost their lives in Iraq.

    Ellie


  7. #7
    A Soldier's Journey: Michael Mundell
    From Army training to Kuwait to Iraq, one fallen American serviceman chronicled his ventures electronically.

    WEB EXCLUSIVE
    Newsweek

    March 25, 2007 - In the spring of 2006, Army Maj. Michael Mundell prepared to head off for training before his deployment to Iraq, where he helped train an Iraqi Army battalion. The following are unedited excerpts from his e-mails to family and friends from the last year of his life.

    Heading Out for Training
    03/25/06 11:06 AM
    Hi everyone! I am leaving Ft. Bragg (thank goodness) on Tuesday or Wednesday and heading to, of all places, Ft. Knox. I will stay there for a week or less, doing some "Cultural Awareness Training" and then some digital battlefield software training. After this, I am headed for Ft. Hood, Texas, to draw equipment and weapons. I have been assigned to a "Mobile Transition Team", meaning I will be living with and training an Iraqi Army Battalion, along with three other Americans. After a few days at Ft. Hood, I will be sent to Kuwait to do some more training ... and then to Tadji, Iraq. From Tadji, we will be dispersed to various units across the country. I dont know where exactly I will be. I am happy with the assignment—it sounds like a lot of fun and excitement.
    Mike


    Getting Back Into Shape
    05/03/06 8:07 AM
    Dear friends and family,
    I finally met my team on Monday and they seem to be really great guys. ... All together, there are three majors, three captains, and three sergeants on the team. Hopefully, we will come home with all nine of us.
    I finally got some specifics as to my assignment. We will be advising (not training, there is a difference) the 3d Battalion of the 1st Brigade, of the 1st Division, Iraqi Army. They are stationed in Fallujah and operate in the area between Fallujah and Ramadi (east, towards Baghdad). Should be very interesting, as this is right smack in the middle of the "Sunni Triangle" area. I am not sure what that means, other than we will be busy boys. I just cant wait—I have had ENOUGH training—time to get to business.
    I am well and continue to get this old, old body back in shape—PT three times a week will do that.
    Love to all, Mike


    'Banshee Battalion'
    5/20/06 11:00 AM
    Hello to all from sunny and HOT Ft Hood!
    The team I am on consists of 11 men (no women). ... We are short two men, an NCO [Non-Commissioned Officer] to help me and another major to oversee maintenance. They will be here this week, I am told. Good men, all of them and I feel confident going with them. We work hard together and are developing a team spirit. Our brigade nickname is the "Lobo Brigade", which none of us like. We have decided to call ourselves the "Banshee Battalion" and my son Zach, the artist, is creating a logo for us to paint on the sides of our HUMVEEs and so on.
    All is well at home—except that [my wife] Audrey is slowing going crazy, I suspect. Knowing my kids, I can understand why. She is doing a great job taking care of business and it is a great comfort to me knowing that my kids are in the best of hands with their mom. She is one tough lady!
    I hope to hear from everyone and hope that everyone is well!
    Mike

    John Wayne and Fudge
    5/23/06 8:33 AM
    Hi to All!
    One of the captains in 2d Battalion is an IRR [Individual Ready Reserve] call up like me. He was within a month of the date when he could resign his commission and to top it all off, his wife is two months pregnant with their first. Needless to say, he is not the happiest of campers. ...
    This morning, I ended up next to him as we were shaving. He was still downcast and unhappy, almost morose. Understand that it was around 5:30 in the morning and our faces were both lathered with shaving cream:


    ME: Josh, am I gonna have to take you out behind the barracks and adjust your attitude?
    JW: Sir, I dont think you can do it. And besides, I dont think it would work.
    ME: Well, dammit, it worked for John Wayne in the Sands of Iwo Jima, didnt it? Straightened Forrest Tucker out. And yeah, I could. I am bigger than you.
    JW: My parents often said that old people have strange thoughts.

    Not the greatest of humor, I assure you, but he laughed, and I laughed and another day had begun.

    Aunt Shirley mailed me some fudge yesterday, which I thoroughly enjoyed. However, I forgot THE cardinal rule of food shipments and the barracks—one should NEVER let anyone know he has it. Especially fudge. Homemade fudge. I felt as if I were in the swirling center of a shark feeding frenzy. As people returned from training, the word went out—"hey, Major Mundell has fudge, from HOME!". Aahhh... I have about half of what she sent remaining, which I locked in my wall locker and steadfastly refuse to admit that it exists. Especially the peanut butter stuff. This is, of course, a blatant hint to all my other relatives who would like to become famous in the barracks and in emails.

    Some other random thoughts:

    * Although the battle armor will keep my hind end safe, I HATE it. It is heavy (35 lbs- we weighed it), uncomfortable as hell and HOT. Add to that weight a helmet, a rifle (8 lbs and awkward), another 4 lbs for a pistol, 15 lbs or so of water and another 20 lbs of "other stuff" (1st aid kit, ammo, etc) and I end up feeling like a damm mule. Add onto all of that heat into the mid to high 90's and the unpleasantness is manifest to all. Watching guys trying to run in this reminds me of the turtle that raced Bugs Bunny in the cartoons. It will, of course, only suck worse over there. Something to look forward to, I suppose.

    * I still like machine guns. Yeah, I know that's a little weird, but they are neat. Lots of bullets and shoot real fast.

    * Firing tracers at night has a beauty all it's own... little fireflies that zip and spin and bounce, red flashes against the dark night. I took pictures, by the way.

    * My son Ryan wants me to mail him "things" from Iraq—helmets, equipment, etc. He even asked me to mail him a weapon. All of that caused two thoughts—why does he want a rifle from there and how long before he asks me to send him a real Iraqi person?

    I hope everyone is well and that all my beloved aunts, sisters, friend's wives, etc. got the whole fudge hint. Mess hall food is ... adequate, but exceedingly boring. Kinda like eating in the school cafeteria three times a day, every day ... all week ... get it? Anyone out there feeling sorry for me yet? My address is available.

    Mike


    'Things Are a Bit Black'
    6/06/06 8:29 AM
    We are very close to going [to Iraq], very. Our wheels up is 8:35 PM, 18 June. I want to get this done and over with.

    I am constantly tired, and out of energy. It's not so much the training, but the ... wait, the mental drain. I am responsible for 10 other guys and trying to get them ready and myself just wears.

    I remember when I was preparing to go to school—I couldnt wait either. Perhaps he will learn some new and valuable lessons, perhaps not- all that remains to be seen. As does the future for all of us.

    I told you the other night, I forsee very rough times ahead and shortly ahead. Given all of the intelligence we are getting, both classified and open source, plus the situation reports the guys we are replacing are sending, all signs point to an urban offensive sometime in the very near future (1-2 months). Ramadi is a city of 500,000. gonna be a tough go, particularly given that [Abu Mussab Zarqawi] has made it public that he will stand and fight there.

    Things are a bit black now, as we all feel the pressure and it feeds off of one another. Oh, the joking and laughing continue, but they are of a bit darker nature—"If you get killed, can I have your laptop?", that kind of thing. I guess we will see what happens. Sometimes, I feel like a sacrificial lamb that the Army is tossing out to the wolves, sometimes I really believe in this mission, what it represents and what good we may accomplish.

    Love
    m

    Farewell
    6/14/06 2:14 PM
    Hello to all family, friends and assorted loved ones.
    And, perhaps, goodbye. It is Wednesday, the somethingth of June. Our plane, as noted earlier, leaves on Sunday at 2035 hours, give or take a few minutes. ... I will have limited or no capability to get to the internet once I arrive in Kuwait and no address. I will be able to send letters, but not recieve them. And, my cell phone will not work. This is the Army at it's best. And worst. Once I arrive at FOB Ghost, my home away from home for the next year, those issues will be solved to some extent.

    Our team, of 11 stalwart soldiers, has been assigned to the 1st Battalion, 2d Brigade, 1st Iraqi Infantry Division. They are, as noted above, based out of FOB Ghost, which is SOMEWHERE along highway 10, between the oasis of Fallujah and the soon-to-be-rubble of Ramadi. I say soon to be, as all signs point to an offensive to re-take (so to speak) that volatile city. An offensive, according to published US reports, that will be wholly Iraqi, with support (air, artillery) provided by us. This does not bode well for yours truly or the remaining 10 stalwarts. City fighting just plain SUCKS. No one likes it, but that is what it is going to be. One of the reasons we all hate it is that it soaks up troops like a sponge. Warning to all news watchers—should (when) this little tiff breaks out, watch CNN—you may see me or some of the other Banshees on TV. We will be, in the current parlance, up to our asses in a street fight. Which, as I have already said, sucks about as bad as it can.

    We call ourselves the Banshee Battalion, a name selected and ram-rodded thru by me. The ground swell of discontent is growing, with a contending nickname of the "Fighting Squirrels". The symbol, drawn by our own Cpt Warren Snook, shows an angry squirrel, holding a spear, and guarding two really large acorns. I leave it to your imagination as to what the acorns represent. The motto is "These we will defend". Also perhaps best left to the imagination. The guys have taken to shouting "Crouching Banshee, Hidden Squirrel!" at odd moments. The pressure, I suspect, effects us all in different ways. A bunch of my guys watched the movie "Jarhead", which has the memorable phrase "Yes. It sucks. But EMBRACE the suck!".

    At the risk of sounding maudlin and exceedingly melodramatic, this may indeed be the last time I speak to some of you. Make no mistake, we are going into (pardon the language) a "****storm" in and around Ramadi. The guys we are replacing are down 30-40% and one team is down to 50% of its original numbers. If I wanted to go to jail, I could quote exact numbers of IEDs and car bombs and ambushes that are occurring daily in the Anbar province (for some reason, it's secret, even though the bad guys already KNOW). It is evident that the death of Zarqawi has spurred action, rather than quieting it. Our job is to make the [Iraqi Army] an effective fighting force. The bad guys want the opposite and thus we are becoming choice sniper targets, or so we are being told. All in all, the mood is downcast, yet determined. What will be, will be. There has been a raft of late night "pacts"—if this happens, do this for me and so on. Sometimes I feel like I am in a really bad movie about WWII. Nevertheless, we are 11; they are in legion, unseen and unknown and more slither across the Syrian and Iranian border every day. I have been staring at this last line for about ten minutes, as I seem to have run out of words. Good luck, Godspeed and love to all. I cant think of anything else to write. I will see you all on the far shore, what ever that holds for all of us.
    Mike


    Arrival in Kuwait
    6/23/06 5:01 PM
    Hi to all friends and family,
    Yes, I have arrived safely, more or less, in the lovely country of Kuwait. Anyone not detecting the sarcasm there, have your detector checked—immediately. ...The camp is, to put it nicely, in the middle of NO WHERE. We are packed into metal framed plastic tents, 60 to a tent. They are air conditioned, but when the heat comes up, they struggle and sputter ... it's good when it is only 90 or so inside. We sleep on cots, VERY close to each other. So close, in fact, that I had to warn my battle buddy, CPT Warren Snook, to stay off my side. Nevertheless, it isnt too bad. For 3-5 at the county pen, anyway.

    Other goods and bads. Mess hall= Good. Actually, great! No lines (it's big), plenty of good food, juice, fruit, ice cream and even FRESH donuts. Amazing. Nothing too fancy, just good and lots of variety. And ESPN on the TV. Showers= semi OK ... we get to take combat showers, which is get wet, turn off the water, lather up, then turn it back on and rinse and you are done. 15 gallons a man per day. Bathrooms= BAD and worse. Portajohns. In the desert ... hot, smelly, 'nuff said. Dont get downwind. Just some friendly advice.

    Now, to the heat thing. It is 120-130 EVERY DAY. To feel this, turn on a blow dryer, point it at yourself and stand there. And stand there. And stand there. Throw some dust from the vacuum in the air everyonce in a while. Viola! You are experiencing Kuwait. It is with out a doubt the MOST oppressive thing I have ever felt in my life.

    All else is well. I cant talk much about training, or when we leave for Iraq (soon). They are quite hostile about the bad guys reading our email and so on. Apparently, they spy on this place all the time. Oh well. At any rate, I am healthy and reasonably happy. I would call home, but the wait is worse than the wait for this. I hope everyone is healthy and happy. I will email as soon as I can, whenever THAT is.

    Mike

    Boredom in Baghdad
    7/08/06 1:00 AM
    Dear Family, friends and assorted other loved ones,
    We have been here at Camp Striker, in Baghdad, for two days now, with one more to go ... nothing to do, boring, boring. We have to wait here until the Phoenix Academy in Tadji has room for us in the training pipeline. Only One More Training Thing, and we can actually start to do our jobs. I am utterly sick of training. Utterly and completely.

    Anyone who fools around in the stock market, here is a tip. Invest in Kellogg, Brown and Root-KBR [a division of Halliburton]. These guys own EVERYTHING here. Mess hall? Run by KBR... bus services between FOBs [Forward Operating Bases]? KBR... hiring and firing of personnel who work around here (mostly Phillipinos and Pakistanis)? - KBR. For goodness sake, I went into the porta-potty and guess who provides THAT? KBR. Buy their stock, immediately.

    I say you would think this place is boring, except for one thing—we get the war by remote control. The first night we were here, there was a huge firefight—machine guns, RPGs, etc. Yesterday, there was a big big boom, followed by a vast plume of smoke. The helos buzzed all over that thing and the Apaches looked as if they were firing rockets (hard to tell). Last night, we heard the distinctive giant "zipper" sound of an A10 minigun, interspersed with lots of small arms and RPGs. Someone in Baghdad is obviously upset. Yes, Virginia, there really IS a war.

    I am well, but frustrated. I wanna get where I am going and do what I gotta do. This being in limbo sucks. Everyone likes time off, but this is ridiculous. My big event for the day? Re-packing my dufflebag and cleaning around my cot and washing some socks and underware. Goodness, the excitement never stops.

    Mike


    Meeting Hadji
    7/14/06 11:14 PM
    Dear Loved ones, friends and family,
    I have met Hadji (which is how we refer to the locals). I was walking to the gym one night and came across a bunch of Iraqis (mess hall workers, gate guards, etc) playing soccer. They invited me to play and viola! Now I play every night, as the "pet American footballer". They are as good as you might suspect, much as if you had a pick up game of baseball at home. I am able to stay with them, for the most part, though there are a few who are really good. It's fun and good exercise. My team comes out of the barracks to watch, so that they can abuse me later when I mess up, which they do. After the first night, SFC Fulford decided that I was probably going to need a walker in the morning. HAHAHA. I told him I would get him later.

    Still here at Taji, getting trained at the Phoenix Academy. So far, I gotta say that I have learned little of use—a lot of it is Generals coming to tell us how great things are. Of course, we have been mortared every night (not close) and there have been random sniper attacks almost every day (again, not close). Yeah, things are going just SPIFFY. I did find out that as of 1 August, we all belong to the 1st Infantry Division, which means I can take this stupid Iraqi Assistance Group patch off (it looks like an arrow with a wreath) and wear the "Big Red One". Yeah, childish, but it's those little things that get you going. Sorry, Uncle Brud, but no 2d Armored Division stuff here!

    We are eating Iraqi food a lot in the mess hall, which is ... interesting. We eat a BUNCH of rice, which caused several people to state that "there will be NO rice served at home when I get back", or words to that effect. I rather like it. I ate what I thought was apple pie, only to find out later it was dates. It was still good and I still eat it. It tastes kind of apple-peachy and is very sweet. Great with ice cream, when we have it.

    All else is well, though the stress is beginning to show. This walking around armed with loaded weapons and KNOWING we are close to the end of training (which seemed ENDLESS) ... guys are getting touchy. However, we truely are trying to take care of each other and help over the rough spots. As team "Mom" (the XO), I spend a lot of time outside the barracks, listening. Also as team "mom", I deliver out a few spankings when needed as well. Nothing like giving a good butt chewing to release some tension.

    Cecil....I have not seen ONE scimitar since I have been here! Now, that just stinks, dont you think? I would like to bring one home! Seen lots of AKs, but I am not allowed to "souvenir" one of them, darn the luck.

    Keep those emails coming! I read every single one, but cant often answer, because of time. Once we get to Ghost, we will arrange satellite internet (negotiations with a US firm are ongoing, thanks to CPT Stewart) and I will be able to answer everything then.

    Love
    Mike

    On to Fallujah
    7/17/06 6:22 AM
    Dear Audrey,

    2d Letter on the way

    we are moving to Fallujah via ground convoy...at nite. This is NOT good. Not at all. Last two convoys were hit and hit badly. Oh well, I am not making the decisions. Will write when I get there.

    Love
    mike

    Not a Virgin Anymore
    7/24/06 7:57 AM
    Dear Friends, family and loved ones,

    Sorry for the gap in writing, but we have zero internet and have to wait until we travel the 15 miles to camp Fallujah, which is east of the city. Yes, I have finally arrived here and yes, it is STILL hot, and yes, it is interesting. So far.

    Ok, to get yet another thing out of the way. Yes, we have been under fire, several times, hence the reference to the "not a virgin any more". Two days ago, we were preparing for a movement. All of the sudden "BOOM!....BOOM! BOOM!" and our radios were filled with shouts of "incoming!". We took three mortars in close. The guy I am replacing called me and said "we need to go to the IA [Iraqi Army] HQ". Which is next door. Out in the open. So, we run over there and see if there is any damage, then walk outside to do crater analysis. You can actually tell what direction it came from and how big by looking at the hole. Rob and I are out there looking at the holes (it's our/my job ... no one but an idiot goes out when mortars are falling are have recently if they don't have to) and "CRACK" ... one sniper round. It kicked up dirt 20 or 30 meters away. He looked at me and:

    Rob: You know, we ARE exposed out here (there are houses all around us)
    Me: Really? Ya think? Thanks for bringing that up.

    We only took that one round though.

    The IA staff are pretty nice, though my counterpart is a fat, arrogant pain in the rear. I was invited to dinner with Lt Mactimit at Number 3 company and had a good time. They were watching, of all things, WWF. One of his fellow Lt's leaned over and asked me.. "this wrestling...it is real?" I couldnt help the laughter. Try explaining THAT one. Our wonderful, great country and what do we export? WWF.

    We have numerous missions coming up and so we will be out strolling the streets of Fallujah. I really dont like going into people's houses. It is.... unnerving. And you feel sort of ashamed. However, one old man shook my hand and said "Americans good... keep Fallujah safe, safe for children." That was pretty cool. And the kids like us. We have candy, soccer balls and BEANIE BABIES to give out on occasion. Bribery works with kids. Some little old lady gave me the meanest look I have EVER seen. Of course, we WERE arresting her son for having an AK47 in his house (it is illegal to have weapons in Fallujah) so maybe that explains it.

    It's busy. We had a midnite and later mission that I cant talk about last nite and I am always doing something. I have to admit, I LIKE this... not as if I were at home with my family, but this is the most intense, most REAL thing I have ever done in my life. The Jundees (IA privates) look to us as if we were heroes come to save them and most of the officers are so pathetically grateful for anything we do to help (except MY counterpart, who is more interested in how many wives I have than learning tactics). They really want to do right and I think this year will be worth all of the pain it is causing me to be away from all of you.

    I miss all of you. And no, Mark, Joe and all the rest of you perverts, I did NOT pee my pants under fire. Not yet, anyway.

    Getting Tired
    8/03/06 2:13 AM
    Dear loved ones, family and friends,
    This will be short, as time is short on here. A short guide to what is going on for me:

    I get up at 5 or so and we usually have some sort of combat op with the IA ... almost every day, sometimes twice a day. For those of you who heard me say that it would be fun to be in combat, well, I lied. I am getting rather tired of it. I have constant planning and briefing sessions with the IA, plus getting woken with alerts throughout the night from "Celtic'" (the Marines near us) and "Alamo" (my brigade). All in all folks, I am tired physically and frankly tired mentally—I am getting shot at daily (yesterday was one mortar round, landed way short—a cause for celebration) and the fun has worn off. Intell says Sheik Abdullah somebody is planning to hit one of our three bases, so we are prepping the walls. Sorry I am not being too funny today—there is relatively little to be funny about.

    Mike


    Still Tired
    8/27/06 9:25 AM
    Dear Everyone
    This will be short, as time is very short, as usual.

    The happenings of late: we continue to get mortared, with an occasional RPG shot at us thrown in for fun. The last one was funny, as not only did they miss the gun tower, they missed the whole base.

    A little girl was killed yesterday in a cross fire between our Iraqis, the Marines and the bad guys. Sad.

    Folks, I am very tired. We seem to be doing little, the city is mostly trash, rubble ... and frankly I am tired of being a walking bullseye for anyone with an AK and nothing better to do, which includes most of the populace, apparently. We have found three IEDs before they could explode under our trucks. Sorry this isn't funny or upbeat—there is nothing very funny or upbeat to talk about right now. People are dying like flies here and I am sick of it.

    Mike

    Recruiting and Hamburgers
    8/31/06 4:46 AM
    Hi to all and sundry,
    Things here in Fallujah still suck, just so you know.

    We had recruiting here in town for IA soldiers. We got an entire 35 volunteers. It seems that the Imams said that we Americans are not nice and working for us is working for the devil. Hmmmm. The recruiting sucked, as we had constant rifle fire by the Iraqi Police, who were running the traffic points outside the base where we were. They shoot at everything. On the way there yesterday, we saw that they had killed a water tanker. No kidding ... it was sitting on the side of the road, leaking water from about twenty holes in the side. It's pretty bad when that is the funniest thing you see all day.

    All else is as well as it could be. They have cut us off from drawing frozen hamburgers and lunch meat and so on. It seems that none of us is a trained food handler. Funny, we can make decisions about shooting people every day, but we arent big enough boys to decide if meat is bad or not. One of our guys wrote his congressman. Maybe I will too. Worse, the people that make those decisions get to eat in the mess hall everyday, the bastards. All I want is a burger now and then. Is that hard?

    Stay well, everyone
    Mike


    West of Awful
    9/19/06 1:58 PM
    Dear Everyone,

    These past few weeks have been somewhere west of awful. We have had the usual round of unexplained firing, and all of that—that's normal. Bullets whizz around here and no one knows where they come from or who in particular they are aimed at.

    My friend, Maj Brian Hoffman, has lost nine marines WIA [wounded in action] in the past week to IEDs. He is not happy at all.

    The worst was Thursday. The bad guys set off an IED next to a crowded soccer field. Eight dead, five wounded, including several children. It was awful in the worst possible way awful can be.

    We are running cordon and searches every other day, in between the big operations. We are all getting very tired. We have a patrol this afternoon and a search tomorrow morning.

    Film from the aftermath of the soccer IED was on Al-Jazeera (Arab CNN) the very next day. We raided a house that was a possible filming site. Of course, no one knew anything, saw anything, heard anything.

    I am well, just mortally tired. And my armor stinks of sweat to high heaven, but there is no time to take it apart and wash it, so I just smell.

    Mike

    Ramadan Starts With a Bang
    9/26/06 9:17 AM
    Dear Everyone,

    Ramadan has started and started with a bang. We lost an IA the other morning when his truck hit an IED right outside the gate. He lost both hands and a leg. Later, we took some random sniper fire, which wasnt close.

    Yesterday was apparently the big day for all the Muj[ahadeen]. We went out early in the morning, then right after we got back, three mortar rounds into the compound, followed by an RPG that missed everything (including, I presume, the earth) and some machine gun fire. This is curious, as we noticed that we have been attacked twice at the end of every month. We were missing our last end of month of attack and were worried that someone didn't love us any more. Todd and I were going to call 1-800-Terrorist and DEMAND our attack. After all, they did OWE us one.

    We have some operations coming up, no details as of yet. I am sure they will be fun. That, in case anyone didn't notice, was sarcasm at its best. As long as the Iraqi Police know, the bad guys will know. And we will waste our time on some big operation, and find nothing.

    Everything else is the same as it always is here. We patrol daily, looking for them, sometimes we find them, mostly they find us. We kill one or two, the shoot a few of our guys. Someone, I assume, will run out of men sooner or later. They ship theirs in from Syria, Jordan and other places. We get ours from ... well, I dont exactly know.

    I am collecting some stuff for Audrey and the kids—Arabic jewelry, clothes, candy, etc. I hope to have that off this week. Anyone else? Just drop me a line. Our interpreters can get it cheap.

    All else is as well as can be. Happy Ramadan, everyone!

    Mike


    It's Been Busy
    10/31/06 3:16 PM
    Dear Everyone, friends, family, loved ones, etc.,
    It has been a while since I have been able to read mail or write. The only time I got to a computer is to order Dale's birthday present and that's it. Things have been very busy here of late. We are told that offensive action in Baghdad and Ramadi are driving the Muj here, and that they are staking a claim to the city, to drive us out and embarrass both the US and the young Iraqi governments. It's been busy.

    We have lost, this month, four jundees killed in action and around 15 wounded. All the KIAs are from IEDs or suicide vehicle bombs. I SAW one IED strike, not 75 meters from the front gate. The driver was killed instantly, all three other passengers wounded.

    An incident of note, among many. We have started shutting down the city, meaning that we close all of the entry control points (you cant get in to the city without going through one). After they are closed, every military unit of note rushes out and does snap Traffic control points. In English, this means we set up at a busy intersection, stop all traffic and search EVERYONE. We were out on one and the Marines got into a firefight to our south, big enough that they had close air support flying in low and dropping flares. My little force of 15 men total, US and IA, was called in to reinforce. We went south, way south and got there as things were at their crescendo. After we linked with the Marines, we were told to withdraw, as we didnt have enough combat power to do what they wanted us to. As we were leaving, my truck came under sniper fire and we took a hit in the windshield, eye-high, on my side. Thank God for Lexan [a bullet-proof glass].

    We have been mortared three times in the past week, one bomb not exploding. We had to call EOD to come blow it up. The highlight of this was when my brigade called and asked "how did the mortar round get there?" I told them that Santa Claus brought it. Jeeeeeeeez, some people really ARE that stupid.

    Finally, I was interviewed by CBS news today, some female radio correspondent. ... She did everything she could to get me say that the war was wrong, the IAs suck and that Bush is a stinker. It didnt work out well for her. I believe my comment was that "Since I am here and will be here for a while, the politics of it all are rather irrelevant, dont you think?" and "the Jundees will fight, I have been with them doing it, have you?" It was an interesting experience, to say the least.

    I am sorry this isnt very funny, there just hasnt been a whole helluva lot fun going on here. With so many missions, we are tired and tired people make mistakes. People who make mistakes here die. I have to constantly nag and bug and harass to keep the boys from forgetting, from getting sloppy or lazy. Fredette has started calling me the "team *****". Oh well, if it keeps them alive, they can call me anything they want.

    Mike


    Army Maj. Mike Mundell, 47, was killed by an IED in Fallujah on Jan. 5, 2007.

    Ellie


  8. #8
    'With the Heaviest of Hearts'
    They bunked together off base in Anchorage, more like grad students than grunts. One by one, the war claimed their lives. The letters the soldiers left behind.

    Web exclusive
    By Dan Ephron
    Newsweek

    March 24, 2007 - Of the dozens of e-mails Army Sgt. Sean Fennerty wrote home during his three months in Iraq, the most wrenching dispatch reached his parents on Dec 12, 2006. "I write this with the heaviest of hearts," Fennerty typed into a military computer at his base in Baghdad, after attending a memorial service for two members of his airborne brigade killed in a roadside bombing. "They were two of my best friends and that was the squad I moved to, and then moved back from," he wrote. Fennerty, a 25-year-old college graduate, had a bond with the two dead soldiers, Spc. Micah Gifford and S/Sgt. Henry Linck. The three were older than most members of their unit. While stationed in Anchorage, Alaska, they rented an apartment together off base, decorated the walls with flags and memorabilia from previous postings, and lived more like grad students than grunts. All three left Anchorage for Iraq in October 2006, but kept the apartment and planned to return to it. "My two roommates dead, it's kind of hard to swallow and keep working, but that's what I'm doing. This is war and I knew full well what would happen."

    Weeks later, it happened again, only this time to Fennerty: a bomb exploded under his vehicle during a patrol in Karmah near Fallujah. Three months after their deployment to Iraq, all three roommates were dead.

    But their letters remain. Three months ago, NEWSWEEK began gathering letters and e-mails written home by troops killed in Iraq, hoping to learn something about the war that can't be gleaned from the daily press accounts and news analyses. Nearly a thousand families were contacted. Many wanted to know their letters would not be used to make a political statement for or against the war. Once reassured, they poured out to our reporters, forwarding e-mails, faxing handwritten letters, mailing in recordings with the voices of their loved ones. "With less than 1 percent of the U.S. population serving in the military, this project will put a name on a number," wrote Karen Meredith, whose son, First Lt. Kenneth Ballard was killed in May 2004.

    The result is a special issue of NEWSWEEK next week, on newsstands Monday, almost entirely devoted to the writings of service members who lost their lives, and complementary material on our Web site, Newsweek.com, which will continue to publish soldiers' messages home in an ongoing series during the coming weeks. Strung together, the letters draw the arc of the four-year-old conflict, from the initial invasion, through the rise of the insurgency, the stabs at democracy and the spasms of civil war.

    Separately, the letters tell us something more intimate about people at war. Fennerty, both in the run-up to the deployment and in Iraq itself, talked about anticipation and fear. "This sitting around and waiting so close to our goal gets old," he wrote his family from Kuwait, where his unit spent more than two weeks waiting to enter Iraq. "All joking aside, there's some stupid stuff going on up north and I'm anxious/nervous/excited/scared to go." In Iraq, his job was to comb Baghdad neighborhoods for roadside bombs ("improvised explosive devices"). "We hunt for IEDs on a main highway and set up checkpoints. Taking small arms fire and patrolling is the easy stuff. The hard stuff is finding these damn IEDs and keeping focused." Later, he tells a few family members (but not his mother, so as not to alarm her) about the first of three attacks on his convoy. "The night of Thanksgiving ... my truck was blown up. No one in my team was hurt, it just scared the bejesus out of all of us and did some serious damage to the truck. None of us saw this thing coming." Almost always, he signed his letters GO BEAVERS, a reference to the football team of his alma mater, Oregon State University.

    Fennerty, who grew up in Portland, Ore., enlisted after getting a degree in history. His father had been a doctor in the Navy, and the memories of military life were sweet for everyone in the family. "It was the best period of our lives," says Sean's mother, Maureen. She said Fennerty tried to hide his comfortable upbringing from friends in the military, but his constant reading set him apart. After long days of training, other soldiers would get mad at Fennerty for keeping the light on in the barracks to read his tomes, like Tolstoy's "War and Peace." "They'd yell at him to turn the bleeping light off," Maureen says. As a sergeant in Anchorage, he began hunting for an apartment off base.

    Gifford teamed up with Fennerty in the search, and Linck (whose family could not be reached by NEWSWEEK) joined later. A 27-year-old staff sergeant and the son of a preacher, Gifford graduated from Harding University, a Christian liberal-arts school in Arkansas, in 2003, then moved back in with his parents in Redding, Calif. He decided to enlist after watching the beheading of Nicholas Berg, an American businessman who had been kidnapped in Iraq. "We were both just totally aghast," says Gifford's mother, Marsha. "My older son was serving in the Marines, so we were glued to the television, and when this came on, Micah got angry." The beheading took place in May 2004. Gifford was in boot camp by August.

    He wrote few letters from Iraq. In one from Kuwait dated Oct. 21, 2006, Gifford described the routine to his girlfriend, Niki Milano. "As for the things I can talk about that you may or may not want to know ... the camp here is pretty chill. We train every once in a while and the squad leaders try to keep us busy in a good way. Sgt. always ends up asking me what I think we need to work on and I am flattered that he thinks to ask me, but at the same time a little disheartened at the fact that he needs to ask me. Also, the guys get ****y when they have a choice to train or sleep and I come up with something that we need to train on. Then they get mad at me for being the reason they are training and not sleeping."

    Later, Gifford tells Niki how soldiers in his unit pass the time: "Reading, playing PSP, watching episodes of House M.D., the Simpsons, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, playing nerdy PC games linked to each others laptops, playing with I-tunes and wandering around aimlessly, doing crossword puzzles and su-dork-u's ... When someone comes up with training that disturbs those things, everyone gets peeved and grumbles all the way through whatever training we do."

    After Gifford and Linck were killed Dec. 7, 2006, officers from the base in Anchorage entered the apartment and packed up the belongings of two of the roommates. "They tried to determine what belonged to each of them," Marsha Gifford says. Her son's things arrived to Redding in a box, among them a yellowed copy he'd kept of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette newspaper announcing the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Weeks later, officers entered the apartment again to pack Fennerty's belongings. His family received clothes and books, Fennerty's drivers license and a journal he kept before his deployment to Iraq.

    In his last e-mail home, dated Jan 5, 2007—15 days before he was killed—Fennerty wrote about being moved out of Baghdad to "topsecretsville, Iraq." "It starts with F and looks a lot like hallelujah," he wrote from Fallujah. "Where I was earlier was like kindergarten and barney compared to this place. No running water, showers, hot chow, phones or Internet ... But the biggest difference is the people friegen HATE us here. I guess it goes with the territory ... Anyway, happy new year to all and take care of yourselves, as I will.

    "GO BEAVERS."

    Ellie


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