For parents, it's back to waiting, hoping
By Suzanne Bohan, STAFF WRITER
Inside Bay Area
Article Last Updated:01/16/2007 02:44:28 AM PST
FOSTER CITY

MYRNA WOLFE fights back tears as she talks about President Bush's new plan to deploy more than 20,000 additional troops to Iraq.

Her youngest son, 23-year-old Tyler Wolfe, already served almost 14 months in Iraq, ending his tour in the Army Reserve Military Police Corps in 2004.

Tyler's job was among the most dangerous in Iraq: scouring the roadways searching for improvised explosive devices, or what he called "IED sweeps."

"Talking about it just breaks my heart," said Myrna, who lives in Foster City. "I don't think I can handle it again. For

14 months, it was nonstop worrying about our son."

Myrna and her husband, Bill Wolfe, already lost their oldest son in 1996 to a car accident. "I don't think I can deal with that again," Myrna said.

Tyler, however, is prepared to return. "I think it's inevitable," he said. A fleeting anxiety gripped Vincent Scherba, a friend of the Wolfe's who also lives in Foster City, at the news that troop levels will be increased in Iraq. His two sons, 20 and 28, aren't enlisted in the military, but the prospect of a military draft plays with Scherba's fears.

Scherba described himself as a Republican who "always believes in supporting our president." But not for this war, he said.

"Very simply, my wife and I don't believe in the occupation of Iraq," Scherba stated. "If a provisional draft as rumored is discussed, we will sell our home and send our sons abroad without hesitation."

But Catherine Brinkman, executive director of the Republican Party of San Mateo, said she and her family fully support Bush administration plans to increase troop levels.

"The end result needs to be a win; we cannot lose," she said.

Her cousin, who's enlisted in the Army, expressed eagerness to serve in Iraq, she said.

"The day after the announcement, he said he wants to go over," said Brinkman. "He had the sentiment of 'we've come this far, we can't give up yet,'" Brinkman said.

Reactions among U.S. soldiers and their families nationwide were similarly mixed to the president's decision to increase U.S. military presence in Iraq. Soldiers tended to express more acceptance of a return to Iraq, while families members spoke with anxiety over their son's or daughter's return to a controversial war that's killed more than 3,000 U.S. soldiers and Marines.

The expansion calls for more than

20,000 additional troops to be sent to Iraq over the next few months. Some National Guard units will have their tours lengthened. The Pentagon has also relaxed the rules for mobilizing Guard members, so that units will return to battle quicker than anticipated.

Thousands of soldiers have already received notice that they'll be joining the surge in troop levels. However, reservists with an Army National Guard unit in San Mateo that provides medical support haven't received any word that they'll be deployed, said First Lt. Nathan Serena, company commander of the unit.

"For me, it's a relief that I don't have soldiers over there," Serena said. "But if they're called, they'll do their duty."

For Tyler Wolfe, the new Iraq troop policy throws his career plans into uncertainty.

He's scheduled to graduate Feb. 28 from the police academy at the College of San Mateo. He's also enrolled in a program in criminal justice at San Francisco State University.

Tyler's short-term wish is to, at minimum, remain long enough to graduate from the police academy. His long-term dream is to work as a police officer in the area.

But his love of the military complicates his aspirations to advance in civilian life.

Since high school, Tyler has wanted to join the military. He's following in the footsteps of his uncle, who served in the Marines during the Vietnam War. He also admired his grandfather's service in the Army on the front lines in World War II — he survived the Bataan Death March — and in the Korean War. His uncle and grandfather both received Purple Heart medals.

His grandfather made a career of his military service, retiring after 20 years. Tyler plans to do the same.

The benefits of Army retirement are appealing, including medical coverage, financial assistance for college, a first home, and a small pension.

But Tyler also prizes the satisfaction of serving as a soldier. "You have a lot of pride and honor from it," he said. He also enjoys the camaraderie of it. "I have friends all over the country," Tyler said.

So a few weeks ago, he re-enlisted, extending his service in the Army Reserve from 2009 to 2012. "I knew if I got out, I'd regret it," he said.

He also believes in the mission in Iraq, Tyler said. On a small scale, he feels he's made a difference. "I'm just one soldier, I'm doing the best I can do," he added.

But if he goes back, his parents will resume a ritual they hoped would never return.

They never took vacations when Tyler was in Iraq, so they would be available for his phone calls, which usually came in around 2:30 a.m. They'll send care packages, including the black cherry Kool-Aid he and his buddies liked, as it masked the taste of the hard mineral water in Iraq, which also become unpleasantly warm in 120 F temperatures common in the country.

His longtime girlfriend, Hanh Tran, 22, will also join the ritual, spending time with his parents to share any tidbit of information they have on Tyler or about the war in Iraq. They also take comfort in each other's company, each said, for only people with a loved one in a combat zone can understand the ever-present anxiety that accompanies it.

"They know how I feel, and I know on a deeper level how they feel," said Tran, who's also studying criminal justice at San Francisco State University.

Every two or three months, she and Tyler's parents would also meet with other families with soldiers in Iraq, where new information is a valuable currency and the shared understanding of the emotional trauma of having a family member on dangerous duty provides comfort.

For those who have already lost a son or daughter in Iraq, the move to increase troop strength tears at them differently.

Karen Meredith's son, Lt. Ken Ballard, was killed on May 30, 2004 by an accidental discharge of his weapon. Meredith, who lives in Mountain View, said she comes from a military family — her father and grandfathers were all officers.

So it was harder for her to speak out. But she is now. Meredith was appalled by Bush's plan to send over more troops.

For her and other members in the Gold Star Families Speak Out, a group she belongs to that's seeking immediate troop withdrawals, the plan means more agony for families over a war they believe was started under false pretenses and before other options were exhausted.

"For us and for me, I say get them out starting midnight tonight," she said.

"I don't want another family to suffer," Meredith continued. "I can never say to anyone 'it will be fine, they'll get home safely,'" she added.

Wire services contributed to this report.

Contact Suzanne Bohan at (650) 348-4324 or sbohan@angnewspapers.com.

Ellie