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  1. #46

    Cool Quantum Mechanic

    Perhaps a good reason you don't meet to many female mechanics..

    Sempers,

    Roger


    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  2. #47
    Registered User Free Member SGT T's Avatar
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    OMG

    ROTFLMAO.....DRIFTER BUDDY YOU DA MAN


  3. #48
    Registered User Free Member SGT T's Avatar
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    A SEMPERTOON 4 U




  4. #49
    Registered User Free Member SGT T's Avatar
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    EVEN NOAH NEED US




  5. #50
    Registered User Free Member SGT T's Avatar
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    FOR THE GRUNTS




  6. #51

    Cool Doctors Affair

    A doctor was having an affair with his nurse.

    Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant.

    Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of
    money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

    "But how will I let you know the baby is born?"she asked. He
    replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on
    the back. I'll take care of expenses."

    Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and
    flew to Italy.

    Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called
    him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very
    strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't
    understand what it means."

    The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will
    explain it to you". Later that evening the doctor came home,
    read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack.

    Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back
    to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated
    the cardiac arrest.

    So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti,
    Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and
    meatballs, two without

    Sempers,

    Roger


    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  7. #52

    19 Things to do in the Bathroom Stall

    Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
    Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
    Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
    Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
    Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
    Say "Darn, this water is cold."
    Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh. Sigh relaxingly.
    Say, "Now how did that get there?"
    Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
    Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy !!"
    Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
    Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
    Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
    Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
    Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
    .Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks
    .Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down you "Cross-Dressers Anonymous"newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
    Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
    Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

    Sempers,

    Roger


    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  8. #53

    Talking Very funny stuff. I got my chuckles for the day ;)

    Heres one I read in a magazine, (Some guys do read the articles, or at least the jokes )

    It goes something like this.

    Two crabs take a vacation to palm beach every summer for spring break. For the past four years they have been trying to find the best way to get down there. The first crab told the other crab that he found the absolute best way to get there, hassle free and even very comfortable. The first crab explains his method to the other crab and they go there separate ways and make plans to meet each other on the beach. A few days go by and the first crab makes it to the beach with no problems. He waits a few more days and starts to get worried about the other crab, he starts to grow very inpatient, and right when hes about to give up and go back home he sees the other crab come stumbling down the beach towards him. He exclaims, Where the heck have you been? The other crab replies, I did just like you said, I went to the collage dorm across the street, I crawled up the very beautiful girls leg and nuzzled in to take a nice nap on the way down. Next thing I know, Im going do the road at 80 mph riding in the mustache of a "Air Winger" riding a Harley!

    Modified for the Leather Neck Forum!


  9. #54
    Devil Dog For Life Platinum Member Gary's Avatar
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    Talking hey Willie

    I resemble that remark hehehehehehe

    Sgt G.A. Blake

    Marine! the title says it all

  10. #55

    Army Rangers vs Marines

    An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of
    Louisiana. He wanted a pair of genuine alligator
    shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to
    pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

    After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle"
    attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted,
    "Maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I
    can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

    The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you
    will run into a couple of Marines who were in here
    earlier saying the same thing."

    So, the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day.
    A few hours later, he came upon two men standing waist
    deep in the water. He thought, "Those must be the two
    Marines the guy in town was talking about."

    Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator
    swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.
    Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine
    grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it
    to death with very little effort. Then both Marines
    dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back.
    Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.

    One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one
    doesn't have any shoes either!"



  11. #56
    Jim C
    Guest Free Member

    Unhappy Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

    [IMG]C:\My Documents\Personal\Funnies\Divorce_Sept_11_Style.j pg[/IMG]



  12. #57

    Cool Watch Your First Step

    In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young
    woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight
    leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and
    jacket. The bus rolled up and it was her turn to board when
    she realized her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come
    up to the height of the first step on the bus. She was
    slightly embarrassed, but with a quick smile to the bus
    driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little
    thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her
    leg. She tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover
    she STILL couldn't reach the step!

    So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind
    her and unzipped her skirt a bit more and attempted the step
    once again. Much to her chagrin she still could not raise her
    leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile
    to the driver, she unzipped the offending skirt once more
    and, again, was unable to make the step.


    About this time a big Texan that was behind her in line,
    picked her up by the waist and gingerly placed her on the
    step of the bus.


    Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero
    screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even
    know who you are!"


    At this the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would
    agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times I
    kinda figured that we were friends."


    Sempers,

    Roger


    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  13. #58
    Jim C
    Guest Free Member

    Question Say what????????

    MILITARY JARGON or
    Why we have the Joint Chiefs of Staff; or its
    all a matter of interpretation!

    For example if you told:

    Navy personnel to "secure a building," they
    would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

    Coast Guard personnel would tie a towing line to it.

    Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

    Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with
    suppressive fire and close combat.

    The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
    :o


  14. #59

    Cool Sweetheart

    A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new
    sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very
    long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of
    gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too
    personal.

    Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to
    Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves.


    The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.During
    the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got
    the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without
    checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and
    sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:


    I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the
    habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had
    not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones
    with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to
    remove.


    These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from
    showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three
    weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for
    me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put
    them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will
    come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you
    again.


    When you take them off, remember to blow in them before
    putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp
    from wearing.


    Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming
    year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All
    my love.


    P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a
    little fur showing."

    Sempers,

    Roger

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  15. #60

    Cool Pretending to be a Lawyer

    There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar
    and asked this one guy how to get a date.

    The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."

    So, the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out.
    After she said no,
    he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had
    a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh! You're a
    lawyer?"

    He said, "Why yes I am!"

    She liked the idea and they went to his place. When they
    were in bed making love, he started to laugh to himself.

    When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've
    only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing
    someone!"

    Sempers,

    Roger



    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

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