Chuckles of the Day...

[Rob Parry]

Christmas carols for dysfunctional friends:

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and..

PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

............(better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

[Ed Palmer]

After the accident





After the accident, I was treated like a king and I lived a life of luxury. I had peace and quiet so I could watch the football game without anyone biotching. I could have the guys over whenever I wanted. And to top it off, I could screw anyone I wanted.
Then the biotch came out of the coma.

[Rob Parry]

I boarded an aircraft at London’s Heathrow Airport for New York and taking my seat as I settled in, I noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
I realised she was heading straight toward my seat and bingo – she took the seat right beside me.
"Hello", I blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States."
I swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen sitting next to me, and she was going to a meeting for Nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain my composure, I calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some popular myths about sexuality."
"Really", I smiled, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," She said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you; I don't even know your name!"

"Tonto," I said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

[MOUNTAINWILLIAM]

THE BOOB TEST


(If you can't take the sight of Bresses's don't open the link)



http://www.forthecraic.net/flash/boobtest.swf

[kaelobo]

great test................................usmc

[rsta]

I met a beautiful woman in the park the other evening...
There was an instant spark between us and she fell at my feet.
As we laid there, making love, I thought to myself,
''These tasers are well worth the money...''

[Ed Palmer]

My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?"



I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I stayed awake."

scroll down for results

[Ed Palmer]

Dennis Swanberg - Bengy and the Zipper
this is about 6 min, long but funny

[wildwoman73]

Bwahahahahahahhaha!!!!! Ed, that's the best I've heard of in a long time!!!

[MOUNTAINWILLIAM]

If you are "Thinned Skinned" I don't recommend you open this link. (Let's see how long it stays "up")

French Condom Commercial ....

Only the French could get away with
An advertisement like this ! ! !!

Click on:
http://attitude.adforum.com/top5/201...iti-tbwaparis/

[wildwoman73]

OMG!!! LOL....I give it about 30 more minutes!! Holy cow!!

[USMCM38A1]

never make it in uptight america ,on the other hand being a father turn that cr@p off lol

[USMCM38A1]

http://www.forthecraic.net/flash/boobtest.swf


great test i like em real

[MOUNTAINWILLIAM]

A Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.




Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.




When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.




Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.




Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.




Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.




The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'




And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.




Not a lot of people know this.

[procharger20]

A man met a beautiful woman in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between them and she fell at his feet.

As he lay there making love to his newfound sweetheaert, he thought to himself, ''These tasers are well worth the money!''