Chuckles of the Day... - Page 701
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  1. #10501
    Redneck Hotel


    An older couple had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years.

    To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.

    She said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning."

    "But, madam!", replied the bellman.

    "Don't 'But madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager."

    "Madam," the bellman said, "this isn't your room, this is the elevator!"

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  2. #10502
    Warm satisfaction


    What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?

    A tea bag.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  3. #10503
    Not getting any


    Why is air a lot like sex?

    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  4. #10504
    JFK Jnr


    Why didn't JFK Jr take a shower before be left for the Vineyard?
    He said he'd wash up on shore.

    Hear about Kennedy Airlines?
    Their motto is 'Your luggage will arrive before you do!'

    What do Kennedy's miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
    The runway.

    How did JFK Jr learn to fly?
    Crash course.

    How are the Kennedyís like oil?
    They don't mix well with water.

    Why aren't there more JFK Jr jokes out there?
    They just haven't surfaced yet.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  5. #10505
    Yo' Mommas Fat


    Ya momma's so fat I have to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  6. #10506
    Grand


    Marriage is grand.

    Divorce is about 10 grand.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  7. #10507
    Yo momma U-G-L-Y!


    You mom is so ugly that when she walked out of a pet store, the alarm went off!

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  8. #10508
    Bermuda triangle


    Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?

    A: They have both swallowed a lot of seamen.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  9. #10509
    Anal vs Oral


    What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

    Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  10. #10510
    Yo Mamas So Ugly


    Yo mama's so ugly when she was born they put her in an incubator with tinted windows!!!!!!!

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  11. #10511
    Restaurant service


    Waiter to customer: "Our specialty is snails."

    "I know. One of them served me the last time I was here!"

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  12. #10512
    Coming or going


    Why is urine yellow and sperm white?

    So men can tell if they are coming or going.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  13. #10513
    Lucky dogs


    Why do dogs put their noses in women's crotches?

    Because they can.

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  14. #10514
    Witches On Brooms


    Q. Why donít witches wear underwear?

    A. To get a better grip on the broom!

    IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
    ONE PROUD MARINE
    1961-1977
    Vietnam 1968/69
    Once a Marine...Always a Marine

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1204617174

  15. #10515
    First real job
    [IMG]http://[/IMG]

    edpalmer has attached this image:


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