Chuckles of the Day...

[Ed Palmer]

The best commercial ever?

[Ed Palmer]

A Cool Gutter Downspout

[Ed Palmer]

Origin of the white wedding dress??











IT TOOK A VERY BRAVE MAN TO WRITE THIS!









IT TAKES AN EVEN BRAVER ONE TO FORWARD IT . . .
A son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.

[Ed Palmer]

Zombie Experiment NYC
Could zombies live among us? We transformed a few New Yorkers to find out.

[David R 1968]

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could see her newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, she said. 'I don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can use my iPad.'
I can tell you this for sure...that damn fly never knew what hit him.

[SGTBrentG]

There is no arguing with cowboy logic. The Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the male castrated and let loose again and the population would be controlled.

This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old boy in the in the back stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't f*ckin' our sheep, they're eatin' 'em.>>

[SGTBrentG]

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'>>

[Ed Palmer]

Man Killed on Golf Course . . . The Price of Honesty!



A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is
hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies are taking their time.

When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then
she goes over and whiffs it completely.
Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess
all those fu**ing lessons I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responds:
"Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 68.......

[Rooger]

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

[jp2usmc]

There was a knock on the door this morning.

I opened it to find a young man standing there who said, "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

"Come in," I said, "and sit down."

I offered him coffee and asked, "Now what do you want to talk about?"

He said, "I don't know. I've never got this far before."

[jp2usmc]

An Arab enters a taxi cab in Dallas, Texas. Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion. In the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music, which is music of the infidel's and there was certainly no radio.

So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, pulls over to the side, stops the cab and opens the back door.

The Arab asks him, “What are you doing man?”

The Texan answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxi's. So get out and wait for a camel.”

[Marine1955]

[irpat54]

[Marine1955]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“ Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays.

[awbrown1462]