Chuckles of the Day... - Page 1265
  1. #18961
    LADIES WHO LUNCH

    A group of 40-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice bums.

    10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good, the wine selection was good also, and the waiters were cute.

    10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet, the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean, and the waiters were sweet boys.

    10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible, they even had an elevator, and the waiters were kind.

    10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.


  2. #18962
    IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION

    Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

    Do you suffer from shyness?

    Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

    Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

    You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

    Stop hiding and start living.

    Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    WARNINGS:

    * The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    * The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    * The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

    * The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    Please feel free to share this important information with as many as you feel may benefit!

    Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz.


    Joe Pool, Senior Applications Developer
    USMC Dates: 880823 - 920823; Final Rank: E-4
    PvtShane: "Marines have a high standard, you'll meet it, you have no choice in the matter."
    Avoid Sears Home Improvement!

  3. #18963


    Joe Pool, Senior Applications Developer
    USMC Dates: 880823 - 920823; Final Rank: E-4
    PvtShane: "Marines have a high standard, you'll meet it, you have no choice in the matter."
    Avoid Sears Home Improvement!

  4. #18964
    Real Estate SignClick image for larger version

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  5. #18965
    That is a very good sign....


  6. #18966
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    The Proud, The Few, The Constitutional Marine

  7. #18967
    Marine Free Member McT ontheRock71's Avatar
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    Ed,
    I passed this picture on to our County Farm preservation man. He got a real hoot out of it. He passed it on to the State.


  8. #18968

  9. #18969

  10. #18970
    Marine Free Member gkmoz's Avatar
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    Daddy is a gay dancer
    A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a
    living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic,
    businessman, salesman... and so forth.
    However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when
    the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an
    exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music
    in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes,
    if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay
    with him all night for money."
    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
    other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin
    aside."Is that really true about your father?"
    "No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee
    and is helping to get Obama re-elected, but it's too embarrassing to
    say that in front of the other kids."



  11. #18971

  12. #18972
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    The Proud, The Few, The Constitutional Marine

  13. #18973

  14. #18974
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    The Proud, The Few, The Constitutional Marine

  15. #18975
    My trip to the store

    There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was
    ready
    to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me."

    Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland
    Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

    When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out
    that she was referring to my credit card.

    I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

    They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!


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