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09-04-06, 05:50 PM #1
Hi, I was just wondering if I can be disqualified from joining because of my scars. They're self-injury scars from a long, long time ago, but they are quite visible (they're on my forearms). I've got nothing wrong with me mentally, though, as I know that can be a disqualifier. Thank you for any information, opinions, etc, you can give me.
09-04-06, 05:59 PM #2
OK - I'll take the bait...................what kind of self injury scars child? How long ago? I'm just curious since you throwing your laundry out for us to see - I have no answer to your question - just curious.
Why would you choose the Corps anyway? Have you talked to a Recruiter?
09-04-06, 07:47 PM #3
The scars are from razor cuts, varied in time. The most recent is at least five years old, the others about six or seven.
I've wanted to join the Corps since I was very little. Many members of my family have been Marines and I would like to join the ranks of y'all and them as well. It would be an honor if I can earn that title of Marine.
I've tried, but I keep getting blown off, to be honest. I've been told to try another recruiter at a different office, but I haven't yet. Now that school's started and I've got my schedule worked out, I am going to within this next week.
09-04-06, 09:44 PM #4
I'm not trying to be mean or anything but, if you cut yourself before what makes you think you won't do it again? You could get very stressed by something in the Corps and try it again, no?
Why do you want to join the ranks of the Elite?
09-05-06, 01:29 PM #5
I know for a fact I won't. It wasn't stress that I did it before, it was a very bad family situation that involved more than I care to share. I can deal with stress pretty well besides. Believe me, if you've been around my house lately you'd understand exactly how much stress I can take without losing it.
For personal reasons that I'd rather not say, but I will say that I want to better myself as a person, I want to earn that honor, I want to be proud of who I've become, I want to be able to fight for my country if called to, and I want to be able to go through hell and at least have the guts to try and make it out alive rather than crouch down like a coward.
09-05-06, 02:52 PM #6
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Lost, Dazed, and Confused
As a WM I'll tell you this much. Some recruiters aren't too keen on trying to enlist females. I had one. I kept at it though. Amazingly enough it was my step monster threatening him that finally got him interested.
The scars? They'll probably want at minimum a psych eval and something from a head doctor saying you're good to go. I had scars from a surgery and had to have documentation and letters from my doctors saying I was fully recovered.
You may *think* you'd never do it again. Though cutting is usually a physical reaction to mental pain. You don't think the Marine Corps can be as mentally challenging as most families?
09-05-06, 06:44 PM #7
Take our word for it - it can be worse...................there is a LOT of pressure on you at times and you had better be pretty danged good at being able to handle it.
Do you realize what you're getting into? You definitely need to find another Recruiter though if you REALLY want in. I never heard tell of one turning somebody down especially when YOU walk into THEIR door.
And something tells me, since you came straight in here and said it, you may just not have control with this Recruiter. Maybe you're offering too much info from the get go - some of them you have to show them what you're made of and how seriously you're taking this decision, show up for EVERY poolee function (if your area has one) and then offer personal info such as that later - that way the Recruiter can be "you good word" if you should need to get a waiver.
But you gotta want it girl...........................
09-05-06, 09:27 PM #8
I *do* want it, believe me. And I'm not saying that most families can't be worse, I'm only saying that from what I've been through in my family the past few years I know I can hack twice that, even more, without breaking down. My family isn't exactly normal at all, but I'm sure no one wants to hear about how hard it is, yadda yadda. I did not, and do not, underestimate how hard it is going to be. In fact, I'm a little intimidated by it, but I know in my heart of hearts that I can hack it, even though it may be hard as hell.
I am currently rearranging my schedule for classes and I've found where a different recruiter office is to talk to someone else, hopefully either tomorrow or this Thursday. Thanks for all the info y'all have given though, really it does help.
09-05-06, 09:52 PM #9
You claim that you are ready for Recruit Training. I seriously doubt that very much. What do you know about it...??? I bet you don't even know where you will go to on Recruit Trainging, do you...???
You will never feel or experience that you will till you hit the yellow foot prints. But after that the real stress begins. Be fair to yourself actually now you won't be fair to yourself. You won't be fair to the Marines Corps either, because you have gone through strees at home doesn't mean you will be able to do this stress. You have noone but yourself to reply on no friends, no family nothing but the Drill Instructors and other recruits. The Drill Instructors do not have the time to train you seperatley, they will trashcan you if you do not measure up they will not waste their time on you period.
Oh, you can take what I say with a grain of salt but just think a minute as to what casued your "carving of your own flesh", yeah that's normal. Get out of dodge and don't waste my tax money on you. If you get past the MEPS and wing up at recruit training you won't last till TD-10.
I am being friendly, if this bothers you then I know I was correct.
09-05-06, 11:57 PM #10
I completely disagree with you, but your opinion doesn't bother me one bit. After all, you don't know me, so there's no way you can know what I'm ready for, what I know, or anything else. I respect your opinion and I'm glad I get the chance to bounce ideas back and forth with anyone here, especially actual Marines themselves.
As for my stress at home, the reasons why I cut myself as a very young child, were because of rape, incestuous molestation, constant physical and emotional abuse, among other things. As for dealing with being completely alone and not having anyone to rely on, well, I don't really here either. All my friends are in another state and I have barely talked to any of them in years, so when things hit the fan here I have no one but myself. I not only have people screaming in my face daily, but also the threat and actual going through of violence against me. I am still sore from the physical abuse here, so I am pretty sure I can handle the stress in boot.
Like I said earlier though, I have no real idea of what it's going to be like, so I'm sure as hell not going to underestimate how hard it's going to be. I'm not that stupid. I do my research, I do my own PT pushing myself, I have other helping me as well (some that are actual Marines), I do not go into anything half-witted about it, especially not this. Those who go in knowing nothing **** me off, because if you're going to commit to something as serious as this, you've got to know your stuff, mind your P's & Q's, and buckle down. I'm not going to be wasting your tax dollars, I assure you that. With all due respect sir, I hope to make you and all those who doubt me proud.
09-06-06, 12:59 AM #11
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Lost, Dazed, and Confused
I understand. Really.
Option 1: Lie about the sexual molestation and abuse. Lie about the cutting. Then they find out later and you're booted because of hiding information and lying.
Option 2: You're honest about it. Likely they won't let you in because you already have an existing condition. Then something happens later and you claim disability because something in boot or in service aggrivates the memories and/or condition. Thus leading to disability.
You may think you are past things that happened to you. But have you been to therapy or counselling? Do you have a therapist who can give you a clean bill of health? And even so there is no guarantee that experiences in boot or the fleet that won't trigger something. Or won't trigger your cutting yourself again. It's obviously a condition that you have had to deal with already.
09-06-06, 01:14 AM #12
It's not an issue at all anymore, period. Nothing triggers it, nothing at all in the past five (almost six) years. I'll talk to as many psychologists, therapists, whoever to prove this, but I know my own mind, and I know that I've not once thought about doing that since I stopped then. Also, I'm not going to lie to anyone, recruiter or not. Option 1 isn't really an option at all, and as far as I'm concerned Option 2 will never happen. That is, from my part in that.
It happened as a child, and while still young, I am no longer a child. I've known many a person who has gone through something as a child, even if horrific, it's still a phase. Very rarely do those things stay with you, and if they did, then my older sister would still be humping walls with her pants down. An immature brain, that of a child, acting out to deal with the pain is not the same thing as an adult, even a young one, and how they deal with their problems. Logic, age, and experience have given rise to new coping mechanisms for me, just as they should for all those who grow up, and just as they do. I will talk to a recruiter within the next couple of days though and see how things pan out.
09-06-06, 07:04 AM #13
You are of course correct I don't know you at all. I should not stereo type people. I dodn't have the experience to do that just the experience of life and 20 years in the Corps. I know that doesn't qualify me for anything. SO pardone my presumptions young lady. While on recruiting duty my job as a recruiter was to put qualified male apllicants (QMA) in the Corps. True enough that was in the 80s. From what I see that hasn't changed much over the years since then. Don't get me wrong about females being in the Corps, I was stationed in a lot of places and the female definately has a great position in the Corps, very professional and very proud to be Marines. WE were not permitted to go seek females, period.
My point is this. In the grand scheme of life the tendancies for females to do what you did to yourself is a lot greater than for males, this is not to say that males don't do this to themselves. I am truely saddened by what you have been through. The adults in your life haven't prepared you for life's journey at all. I was not trying to probe the information from you at all. That is personal and not needed here but if you think it helps to clear the air then so be it it is done now. If you are clear on what is needed to be commited to this, then by all means lean on me I will be glad to mentor you, but in fair warrning to you I am not your Recruiter, your Drill Instructor or anybody in authority in your life. But I will help you if you need it. I would not want you doing this half cocked and not ready. As mentioned before in your post by other Marines. If you don't attend poolee meeting there is not sense in you even doing this at all. The Recruiter does have pull on how things happen if you don't show up for functions, for get about it, don't waste anybody's time.
Well, I guess that about raps it up here. Let me know the road you are going to take. All of us Marines here on the site will assist you, but it is all up to you to make this work.
09-08-06, 08:29 AM #14
lol, he must have just seen your photo
09-08-06, 10:16 AM #15
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
Just speaking from a recruiting stand point self mutilation is DISQUALIFYING at any age
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