Morale in Iraq

[mel]

I have a son over in Iraq and his morale is really low right now, that I am very worried about him. Do any of you have suggestions on what I can do as a parent over here, to boost his morale? I email him and write to him, send him packages, but a lot of the mail he does not recieve. He talks as if he thinks he is going to go (to a better place, and to tell everyone he loves them). Any ideas? He also says he will stay and hang in there to protect his country. Any help? Thank you.:qmark:

[firstsgtmike]

I would suggest to him that he sit down and have a cup of coffee with his Chaplain.

The subect of religion or God need never come up.

The Chaplain is outside the Chain of Command, so there will be no ramifiations in sitting down and having a heart to heart talk.

[greensideout]

Melody,

You have come here knowing that we are not experts in morale building, at least not me, but I may have some advice based on experience.

With that said, I will talk about the things that worked well with me.

As a parent you cannot change his circumstance, but you can support him with GOOD news from home, show little concern of his plight and offer LOVE. He may not want you there in his war!
I remember that I didn't want to talk about war with family at home till I got it sorted out later. I just wanted to hear the good stuff from home that I was missing and that they missed me. I didn't like to be "fussed" over. Give him room to be quiet.

Offer happy things and thoughts. Don't ask anything that has to be answered. Let him picture a smile in all that you write. Make him grin when he opens a letter and reads something that only you and he may know. You are the close'est thing to feeling that he can handle, maybe. His work may require the shut down of feelings. If so, he will get over it. Give him lots of space.

Make him laugh in a warm way.

Just shareing my thoughts with you.

May God bless and protect your son and give you peace.

[Osotogary]

Melody,
I can't top firstsgtmike or greensideout (nor do I want to). All I can do is augment their information with some personal experience as a father who corresponded with his son in Iraq.
Every letter I send him dealt with the POSITIVE and creating POSITIVE from negative. I never asked for details about what he was doing and I made sure that I send enough goodies, stationary items etc. for a four man squad. In other words, enough to be shared. Sharing was and is very important and vital to group dynamics. I packed alot of goodies and placed them beween two frizbees. This was one instance where the packaging became a useful recreation tool. I even sent him a Bahamian One Dollar Bill and told him to spend it wisely. (It was a diversionary tactic so ridiculous that it worked. He and his squad got a big laugh and then continued on with their mission.)
I remember when I was layed up in a hospital for a couple of weeks. I received quite a few cards and was visited by an assortment of friends, family and aquaintences. But to this day I really only truly remember the family members who visited me.
My son said that he to received mail but specifically remembers letters from family members.
There is nothing like getting positive, upbeat letters from family members.
I will say a prayer for him and his comrades in arms. I wish you all well. Take care.
Gary

[gwladgarwr]

I don't think I could have said it any better. The women and men out there right now have a lot of stress and pressure on them. Only if mail and packages could get out to them that much sooner!

I just came back myself just three weeks ago (and I never did receive any mail while I was in Iraq!) It was difficult, and it was hot, and we alternated between utter boredom and red-hot action - often changing from one extreme to another in a quick second.

Having your servicemember speak with a chaplain is the best way to have him/her deal with the numerous hardships we all encounter while forward-deployed. I so looked forward to receiving mail from home while in Iraq, but with that not being very reliable, we often felt a little down. There were often a lot of "bad hair days". The chaplain (often a prior-enlisted Marine himself) is not only counsel, therapist, clergy, and adviser - he is also the spiritual eyes-and-ears of the unit. If you have any concerns regarding the spiritual or mental well-being of your Marine overseas, you may consider forwarding a message to the unit's CO and/or chaplain, or contact your KVN through your Marine's unit.

Though your Marine may not get mail regularly and will for the most part be unaware of the depth of your concern, I urge you to keep sending mail (I recommend sending small packages - in boxes - by US Postal Service 2-day Priority Mail.) Individual letters seem to get low priority and often take much longer to get to Iraq/Kuwait. I wouldn't recommend sending tons of goodies, but a few nice munchies and favorites, as well as Gatorade powder for the dry climate, and maybe some toiletries, are greatly appreciated. They really can't afford the storage space for all the care packages! Letters and notes are so highly prized, as well as pictures of friends and family, but avoid any less-than-happy news if possible - they are all just as worried about what's going on at home while dealing with being in Iraq. Always include reminders from loved ones of just how much everyone back home is thinking about your Marine, and remind your Marine to speak with his NCOs/command/chaplain should things ever look down.

I wish I could add more, but maybe this can help a little. Semper Fidelis.

[SupportinMyUSMC]

Mel...I can't say I've been in your shoes since my son just graduated...but since we are " the few...the proud...the Mom's" we have to stick together. I will add your son to my prayer list and if I could get an address I would even send "real" mail to him. I DO know how hard this is for you. I hope YOU are getting lots of support at home, from the family as well as the community...that helps! feel free to e-mail me if you need to sound off!
Randie

[mel]

To all of you who have given me courage to get through this. I will let my son know to talk to his chaplain, and I thank each of you who are praying for him. My son means a lot to me and my family, and I only want the best for him. Melody

[firstsgtmike]

Mel wrote;

"I only want the best for him. "


So do we.