This is a bust!

Bernie Carson filed a $200,000 personal injury lawsuit against P.T.'s
Show Club, claiming Busty Heart, a performer at the Bellevile, IL, strip club, caused him "emotional distress, mental anguish and indignity" when she slammed her large breasts into his neck and head. Carson also insisted he was "bruised, confused, lacerated and made sore" by Heart's 88-inch chest. Her breasts reportedly weigh 40 pounds each.

Caught with his pants down

New York computer company owner Raviv Laor, 27, filed a $12 million
lawsuit against Air France after crew members, responding to a smoke
detector alarm on the non-smoking flight, smashed open the aircraft's
lav- atory door, pulled him off the toilet and accused him of smoking on the flight. "It turned out the alarm was defective," Laor's attorney said, noting Loar had his pants and underpants down and was "in the process of going to the bathroom" when he "was viciously assaulted and physically attacked by several crew members who pulled him naked outside the bathroom exposing his genitals and other private body parts to seated passengers."

Clowning around

Real estate investor Paul Peskin, 30, was looking over an abandoned bank in Richmond Hill, GA, when he found a package of bills in an open vault. He slipped the money in his pocket, not knowing it was a decoy that tellers give to bank robbers. It exploded, covering him in red dye and an irritant like tear gas. Peskin ran outside to the truck he had borrowed from a friend who moonlights as a clown, and put on a clown suit to keep the truck clean. The dye apparently irritated Peskin so much that he jumped out of the truck and ran toward First Bank ofCoastal Georgia, where employees, seeing a man in a clown suit coveredwith red dye running at them, alerted police to a possible robbery. After listening to Peskin's story, Police Chief Billy Reynolds said no charges were filed, adding, "Nothing this unusual has ever occured that I can remember."


Table pinched his privates

DETROIT -- A man who went to a chiropractic clinic last month for
treatment of a sore back ended up with another kind of pain when he got his genitals caught in a folding exam table. Now, James Van........is suing seeking damages for pain and suffering, disfigurement and for
consequential damages -- such as the lack of sexual performance or enjoyment. He said he went to the clinic and the chiropractor had him take off his clothes and lie face down on a table. He said hid genitals fell between two parts of the table, and when the chiropractor adjusted the table, he got caught! "I got off of the table and I went down to my knees," A clinic employee drove him to a hospital, where a small part ofdamaged skin had to be removed. His lawyer expects a settlement to the lawsuit to exceed "six figures."

Driving forces

Shulamit Dezhin, 82, passed her driver's test in Ashdod, Israel, after
35 failures. She originally wanted her license so she could visit her
parents in Tel Aviv, but she took so long that they died first.

Sempers,

Roger