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02-01-05, 07:48 AM #1
The Importance of Fathers: Donít Forget the Big Picture
The Importance of Fathers: Donít Forget the Big Picture
January 31, 2005
by Alan Millard
The most crucial and important of priorities are our children. Yet, a terrible social condition now allows them to be taken from fathers and deprived their fathersí influence. But, letís not forget, this is a symptom of a much larger problem we had many years in coming, towards which little resistance was expressed. And we must also realize it is derived from a prejudice against men, or more precisely, human males, that occurs from when boys are very young, and is set as a self-governing standard when boys first learn about their sexuality and discover, what I call, the male dirty/guilty connotation. They develop, not only a strong desire, but a need, for sex, which characteristic is laced with a negative identity. The same urge, due to a need necessary for complete male health, is not present in the female due to less levels of testosterone. The effect has been known and experienced for centuries, and is a condition seen in males of other species. But even this fact of life is now arbitrarily denied. For women to acknowledge this male need, legitimately, is to lose the power it gives them. To negatively acknowledge the male need, and use it to demean men, allows an unrestrained poweróan unquestioned ability to manipulate men without providing any value in trade, nor to experience the consequences of mutual responsibility. It allows women to not be held accountable for actions that in the past were considered inappropriate, unladylike and provocative, when initiating acts they were previously held accountable for due to menís exclusive needs to women, with acknowledgement accompanying the social demonstration.
Once allowed to become established, the womenís movement/feminist influence, has had many ramifications. The sacrifice of fatherhood is only one, but a major one. Fathers are men, and this is where the problem originates that results in their lack of equal reproductive/parental rights to women. However, by only attempting to put out this fireĖa symptom of a much larger problemóand have equal parental rights, men/fathers will never achieve a status that will allow them to put the fire out. Men have put up with far too much. Only when their children are taken from them by feminist-influenced means and attitudes within the government/courts, due to a social separatism of women from men, have men via fathers shown some of the most resistanceómuch of which is in vain due to both the traditional chivalric and feminist power base.
True, our offspring are the most important value of all. But, due to a lack of preventive measures, our offspring are now controlled and influenced by feminism. (This includes exclusive female contact, movies, television and other media sources and school, via feminist, influence.) As rational strategists, why have men not protected themselves, their children and our country from this result? Because they are vulnerable to, and greatly influenced by, women! Many menówell-groomed and conditioned from when boysóare influenced by chivalry, which established precedent, broke the path for feminism and its influence. A power outside the people used women as a means of influence to convert society to create the social conditions of today. This late reaction by men/fathers is not without merit, of course, but it is also strongly laced with disgrace, negligence, and a lack of integrity by both men and women who have allowed social conditions to get this bad.
Some veteran menís rights advocates are bitter, and believe that men, after all this time of allowing the injustice to overcome, deserve their fate. And others, still out of the optimist loop, believe that they may not be worth fighting for, although their children are. Others fail to acknowledge their fate, and many lacking adequate self-worth, are ashamed to fight for themselves, and are filled with self-hatred. The epitome of this effect is demonstrated by the pro-feminist males who actually fight for feminism.
Many men have been violated, with children wronged and turned against fathers. The effect is creating new generations of hatred against men, and even more advanced feminist-influence. Another form of holocaust is brewing, only this time against a sex, with matching techniques already in place initially used by the Nazis against the Jews and other ďinferiorĒ races, now used against an ďinferiorĒ sex, to persuade society against men, and even heterosexuality.
Those within the menís equality effort from the startówhen feminists first began their prejudiced and discriminatory campaignóare those of seasoned wisdom. They must be consulted for their insight, with original philosophies endorsed, definitely not tainted by feminist influence that has had its reign for the past 30 years.
We must go back in time, and start from a sound foundation for the menís equality cause to work, thereby gaining a basic understanding of maleness that will allow a full standing of integrity to be applied without feminism contaminating or diluting its efforts. We need to remember that even before the womenís movement, men were considered second-class to women. This is when womenís status of being placed on a pedestal existed and when women were given an exclusive prerogative, served in the mating scene, protected and allowed to go first, with doors opened for them when they did. Is this a second-class status? Only damned fools bought the womenís movement idea, and now we see at what cost.
Why are women and minorities classified the same as Blacks? When were Blacks ever placed on a pedestal or granted an exclusive prerogative? Men have yet to achieve an equal status, let alone one placing them upon a pedestal, to women. Which sex is first to be sacrificed in time of war? Which sex mustónot a choiceóstill register for the military? Itís a choiceóprerogative--for women, not for men. Many seem to also fail in their equality assessment to include womenís exclusive sexual powers/influence over men, and their motherly influence that, with their custody/parental privileges, also reigns superior to men who are not granted equal parental or reproductive rights.
I was perceptive to this 30 years ago, and could then not believe that masses were following this feminist garbage that had no bearing on truth, reality or justice. There were those of a responsible nature, if some of us remember, who believed that for every imbalance on the equality scale, a counter-balance exists for the opposite sex. But these people and their efforts were quickly thwarted by the true feminist agenda, and its push occurring outside of the people. Few now know that issues came up then that recognized the imbalance concerning men. And these equality advocatesóbelieve it or notódidnít blame men, but attempted to objectively address inequities they recognized had evolved in to what both men and women had to work out together. They did not hold men solely accountable and blame men, or try to get more at the other sexís expense, which has led to disrespect, prejudice, male persecution, and lack of good character in todayís women. I actually remember women being as concerned about men in equality issues as they were for women during the Viet Nam era and shortly thereafter, with some claiming that men had more to gain than women by attaining real equality standards. The cause wasnít even sex - secular based , but actually an effort based upon equal consideration for both sexes, emerging it seemed from a positive, free-love/hippy era attitude and philosophy. But the reason women were catered to, is due to a pre-established higher status (superiority to men) that allowed them to get more, with feminism using this prior status to its full advantage.
Selfishness and greed have played a major role. When we hear crap like women are more empathetic than men, we should realize that only due to menís empathy over womenís is the reason women have received more than men. Thus, the damsel in distress/chivalry syndrome has its application. But denial of this continual social demonstration is evident by those who use it most to their advantage, with abuse of such a power base. As I continue to stress, equality is a manís claim.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY LATE HUSBAND, SSgt Roger A. Alfano, USMC
ONE PROUD MARINE
Once a Marine...Always a Marine
02-01-05, 08:09 AM #2
This is one that's been long overdue... and an issue that is personally very relevant. Fathers get a bad rap in America, and its getting worse and worse. Me personally? My mom was the whackjob, and it took 4 years for my dad to straighten out the custody case when I was a little kid, because of antiquated laws that defaulted custody to the mother. I don't plan on letting that kind of thing happen to me, one of these days down the line when I do eventually have kids... and I don't see how any other man could either.
02-01-05, 08:23 AM #3
Livingso free? Most of us don't LET it happen. at least I haven't I have spent over 50K trying to get custody of my daughter!
My daughters mother.
Tested at 5th grade reading level
Tested at 4th grade math level
Confirmed Manic depresive
Has not had a job in over TWO years, and before that hadn't held the SAME job for longer than a year.
smokes pot, and sometimes other drugs.
Has NOW had 3 kids by THREE different fathers. ( my daughter is the oldest)
Has been evicted from SEVERAL places.
Convicted ot floating bad checks as well as 3 dui's
Thats really just the tip of the iceberg, but the judge has said that my daughter is better off with her mom during the school year. How is THAT?
I do not smoke
I do not drink.
3 years of college with a 3.75 GPA
until this last year, held the same job for 7 years
psycologically tested SEVERAL times, and told nothing wrong with me.
No criminal record.
now, tell me, is the legal system biased towards women? You bet your A$$! Especially here in Missouri. i believe the overall average nation wide is for around 8% of fathers to get custody of children. Here in Missouri that average is 1%.
02-01-05, 08:30 AM #4
Absolutely, HJ, I agree. It's not a matter of letting anything happen, this country is too self-absorbed to see what's going on. The popular image of the father in the media is usually either clueless or abusive, it's rare to see any other portrayal. The legal system is completely anti-father in its bias, when I was a little kid, my dad went through a pretty similar process... ain't it a crime?
02-01-05, 08:32 AM #5
HAHAHAHAHA yep jedi thats the problem with the sho me state, let show you how we can mess up the fathers world and life...
02-01-05, 09:03 AM #6
Divorced Dads? I think that this is one segment of society that definitely gets either a bad rap or gets partially or totally excluded from the lives of their offspring but I will be the first to admit that sometimes these exclusions are totally justified especially in regards to the safety of the children. Economics has something to do with it as well. In some cases where the mother made more money per capita than the father the mother usually wound up with custody of the child/children. I have no proof but I do believe that the courts sometimes look at the economics of the divorce first instead of the welfare of the children resulting in good fathers not having custody. There are alot of good fathers out there that have had to bear the brunt of these decisions. (There alot of but**ole fathers that don't deserve the time of day and who need to start paying their child support payments as determined by the courts.) All in all I think that Mr. Millard has an axe to grind with women and he has isolated his grind into the very easy male vs. female arena. I, personally, don't feel that everything is gender relative. In a perfect world I'd just like to see everyone, regardless of gender, get a fair shake or at least a shake that can be lived with but right now it's not happening.
Adios from opinion land.
02-01-05, 10:37 AM #7
Well this certainly hits home ! I alo agree with "Osotogary" that there seems to be some pretty strong issues coming out of Millard that go deeper than he lets on. However I also see how Dads are routinely screwed to the wall by a totally biased and adgenda driven family court system that is often completly out of control.
I have the good fortune to have great access to my son, who actually is with me most of the time, however I am in the midst of a long term battle with my sons mother who split 6 1/2 years ago in the middle of an affair. Walked on me and the boy. I have been trying to dump this piece of gabage since then but right now efforts are being made to extort tens of thousands of dollars from me. And living here in MA I know the second I go into a court I am at a profound disadvantage--one reason I have a lawyer (female) who is a junk yard dog and will eat the balls of a bull. My entire goal right now is to see that I get custody and he is close to the age when he can make up is own mind.
In any event all this hits home !
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