Comic-Book How-To for Criminals
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  1. #1

    Cool Comic-Book How-To for Criminals

    Comic-Book How-To for Criminals

    January 8, 2005

    by Joe Mariani

    Mexico's Foreign Ministry plans to print 1.5 million copies of their Guide for the Mexican Migrant, 32 pages of illustrated instructions designed to help illegal immigrants cross the US border in safety. The comic book contains advice like, "Thick clothing increases your weight when wet, and this makes it difficult to swim or float," and "Don't throw stones or objects at the officer or patrol vehicles because this is considered a provocation." The simple illustrations show Mexicans sneaking across a river, climbing through a fence, avoiding Border Patrol officers, and following telephone lines to find towns where they can live. It doesn't, however, show them applying for visas or work permits. Although the book comes with "a yellow disclaimer saying it does not promote undocumented immigration," it gives helpful tips like, "Avoid attracting attention, at least while you are arranging your stay or documents to live in the United States."

    While some may criticise this comic-book how-to for illegal immigrants, and others may poke fun at it, Mexico's effort to create smarter, better-educated lawbreakers should be applauded. In fact, the US should follow Mexico's lead in educating criminals to be better at what they do. We're the United States of America, for crying out loud -- we ought to have the best criminals in the world! If our lawbreakers are too lazy to figure out the best ways to commit crimes on their own, then perhaps it's the job of the government to educate them so that they can do their job... earn a livi... err, get along in a society that practically forces them to breaks its laws!

    There are too many examples of stupid or uneducated criminals getting caught through simple mistakes -- mistakes that could have been avoided with a proper, government-sponsored criminal training program. Drug dealers have been known to bring drugs to their court appearances, Peeping Toms have left fingerprints on windows, and inexperienced crooks have shown their IDs to clerks while holding up liquor stores (to prove their ages), or filled out applications with their real names during a robbery. Even simple how-to books like those the Mexican government so thoughtfully provides to prospective lawbreakers would be a giant step in the right direction. The US government should provide help for under-educated criminals who want to break the law, but are not sure how to do so without getting caught.

    For instance, a how-to book for the budding car thief could contain helpful advice like, "Most people don't even notice car alarms anymore, but police might. Make sure none are in sight before entering your chosen vehicle." This handy admonition might prevent a stupid mistake. Instructions for novice prostitutes could include, "Always ask whether your prospective customer is a police officer before detailing your services and prices." A bank robber's instruction booklet could give handy tips like, "Do not attempt to use the drive-through when committing your robbery -- go inside. It's worth the effort." Scott Peterson, for instance, could have used a murder how-to comic book. It might have told him, "Do not use a fishing trip at the site and on the day you dump the body as your alibi. It might be a good explanation in case anyone spotted you, but if the body is ever recovered, you will NEVER talk your way out of it." So many criminals forget little details like these, which can lead to embarrassing arrests, court appearances and even convictions.

    It makes the entire country look bad when our criminals are so ill-informed and ill-educated. If Mexico can teach their criminals better lawbreaking methods, then so can we!

    Joe Mariani


  2. #2
    It's already out. We've already encountered several with pamplets and fliers in their posession when cought at the border and in the States.

  3. #3
    Every time an A******** group gets involved with immigration matters. the work loads get even heavier and we have to adapt to even more things from folks that have no idea what we have to contend with. But, as long as the matter does'nt directly pertain to them !!!!! Then, it's okay.

  4. #4

    Write to your local

    ACLU office for a free copy.
    The cover of a new comic book that the Mexican government is giving out to would-be migrants to the United States.

    The book shows migrants the dangers involved in river crossings.

    The book suggests that migrants walk in the desert at night and put salt in their water to help prevent dehydration.

  5. #5


    If caught, don't throw stones at the officials

    The Mexican government's new Guide for Mexican Migrants tells illegal immigrants what to do if they are detained. On these pages, it tells them: Don't run or try to escape. Don't hide in dangerous places. Don't cross high-speed highways. It's better to be detained a few hours and repatriated to Mexico than to get lost in the desert. If they detain you, you have rights!

    Don't know if the local ACLU phone number is stamped into the book's back cover or not.

  6. #6
    Those are good

  7. #7
    Marine Platinum Member jinelson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Newark, CA
    I feel your frustration sandibenz I serve on the California Region II LEPC as well as the SERC and this is a major concern to us also.

    Semper Fi

  8. #8
    Registered User Free Member JAG5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Seattle area
    The Mexican government will deny that they want their people to cross the border, truth of the matter is this, when an illegal immigrant is over here, he sends at least half of what he makes back to his family in Mexico. I lived in San Diego for about 10 years, the impact that these people have on our economy is incredible. They drain our welfare system, collect benefits that they are not entitled to, and live off of the system.

    There are also bleeding heart liberals who go out in the desert and leave survival packs for these people. This country does more for non-citizens than it does for it's own. Now there is this book and a disclaimer for the government, this ir ridiclous. We as the American people need to put our foot down and say enough is enough.

  9. #9
    Guest Free Member
    I worked with some Hondurans when I was roofing. Good workers. "Henry's" Social Security Card looked liked it was done with a freaking crayon. For two years he sent most of his money home to his uncle. Now he's back in the Honduras running an export business.

    The roofing company was paying him about $12 an hour, with plenty of overtime. He said back home he would work 16 hour days for the equivilant of $20.

  10. #10
    Marine Free Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Black River Falls
    If Henry's SS# was bogus and the employer was deducting social security & other taxes I see this as a plus. Henry will never collect SS. Henry probably never files an income tax return (the gov't keeps the witholding amount).

    Now if Henry's employer was paying him cash, the employer deserves an ornery cell mate.

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