21 Steps to Becoming a good Democrat

[enviro]

In deference to the few liberals we have around here, I think I will play devil's advocate and help them argue their side for a bit.

Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking (about it) and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare them below and see how you rate...




1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans,are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by Americans driving SUVs'!

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the U.S. military, not evil, tyrannical
regimes,start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've been subjected to since our founding.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a cheat, liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you could).

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and beastiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school, the 10 commandments in court, have far more rights than the majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young children.

[eddief]

The only thing you need to be a good republican- a lobotomy (just kidding guys).

[Sparrowhawk]

8/9/04
Talk about getting religion!
By John Leo

Rub your eyes. Did we just see a Democratic convention brimming with flag-waving patriotism, respect for the military, and references to God and values? Why, yes, I believe we did. Barack Obama, the impressive new African-American star of the Democratic Party, told us how blue-state Americans "worship an awesome God," the implication being that Democrats generally are deeply committed to religion and overcome by the power and majesty of God. Even semialert people who follow politics with one eye shut know this isn't really the case. As umpteen scholars have pointed out, the Democrats are morphing into a secular, or nonbelieving party, while the most fervent nonminority Christians are moving into the Republican column.



Obama's second heresy was to announce that "there is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and Asian America. There's the United States of America." This was a not-very-credible repudiation of the politics of multiculturalism and separatism that Democrats have been busy forcing into the schools and into the law, often while expressing contempt for assimilation and the one-America ideal that Obama celebrated in his talk. The theme of the convention, E pluribus unum , "out of many, one," was an obvious way of trolling for unwary moderates, but Al Gore's flub in 1994 more accurately reflects the party's priority. Gore got E pluribus unum backwards, translating it as "from the one, many."

Two worlds. The Boston convention was a festival of values that the Democratic Party either does not hold or does not want mentioned much in the public arena. Has any Democratic gathering paid so much positive attention to the Pledge of Allegiance? Obama promoted the pledge. Ted Kennedy offered an improbable (for him) twofer: By using the phrase "under God," he invoked both faith and the pledge. The party platform announced that the "common purpose" of Americans is to "build one nation under God." But the pledge has been under heavy fire from Democratic pressure groups for years, both for the "under God" line and the sheer fact that it is said in schools. Millions of Americans view the pledge as an affirmation of community and national commitment. Among Democratic groups, it is usually viewed as mandatory patriotism.

The same is true of the flag. Colleges and schools frequently resist the flying of the flag or simply ban it as narrow or too provocative. After 9/11, Lawrence Summers, the president of Harvard, asked the academic world to rethink its reflexive hostility to patriotism and urged the "coastal elites" (aka the Democratic establishment) to move closer to mainstream values. That hasn't happened in real life, but in Boston it happened in the world of political marketing.

Summers also urged the elites to show respect for people in uniform, the military, police officers, and firefighters. He complained that Harvard's John F. Kennedy School of Government was not giving awards to anyone in uniform. (In the three years since, the Kennedy school gave one such award.) John Kerry's impressive service in Vietnam inoculates the Democrats against the charge of indifference and hostility toward the military, at least for this election cycle. But largely Democratic cohorts keep military recruiters and ROTC units off many campuses, usually without a peep of protest from those who staged last week's military pageant and the "night of the generals" display in Boston. Applause for retired officers, evidently, is perfectly compatible with policies that keep the military from recruiting.

Perhaps the most jarring of the "values" themes in Boston was the convention's attempt to identify with religious voters. Come to the Democratic convention and sing "Amazing Grace." Many religious people, of course, are Democrats. But the secular elites who control the party have worked long and hard to marginalize religion in America and to banish it from the public square. Two political scientists, in a 2001 study published in the Public Interest, concluded that the origins of the culture war can be traced to "the increased prominence of secularists within the Democratic Party and the party's resulting antagonism toward traditional values." The authors, Louis Bolce and Gerald De Maio, describe a "secularist putsch" among the Democrats, explaining that it made the Republicans the traditionalist party "by default more than by overt action." According to Bolce and De Maio, the secularist constituency is as important to Democrats today as organized labor. Under these circumstances, invoking God (seven mentions in the Democratic platform) drags marketing to the point of hypocrisy. Get used to it. The Democrats will be strongly religious--right up till November 2.

[HardJedi]

very funny list.