The Jokes Thread - Page 7
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  2. #92

  3. #93
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  4. #94

  5. #95

  6. #96
    gave the pups their first bath and decided to hang them out to air dry

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  7. #97

  8. #98
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  9. #99

  10. #100
    1. PENSION SEX
    Two men were talking.
    "So, how's your sex life?"

    "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex."
    "Pension sex?"
    "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"


    2. LOUD SEX
    A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
    he lets out this ear splitting yell."

    "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

    "The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

    3. Silent Sex
    Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his
    wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"

    She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!"

    4. ARGUMENT SEX
    A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
    wedding anniversary.

    The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
    reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold as Ever.'"

    "Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
    reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff at Last.'"


    5. WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
    My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will
    make you happy tonight." He was right.

    When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs, and
    he couldn't get back in.

    6. ELDERLY SEX
    One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo and found her
    97-year-old husband in bed with another woman.

    She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th
    floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.

    Brought before the court on the charge of murder, the judge asked her
    if she had anything to say in her defense.
    She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 97, if he could
    still have sex, he could also probably fly.


  11. #101

  12. #102
    While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

    Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shinny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman, who asked, "Are you okay?"

    As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...

    "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

    She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

    "That's nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!

    "Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

    Well, she was really quite gorgeous and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

    We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

    "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of breasts I’ve ever seen.

    "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

    "Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."


  13. #103
    [IMG]https://s3.amazonaws.com/marinephotos-****************/1184975_med.jpg[/IMG]


  14. #104
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