The Jokes Thread
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  1. #1

    The Jokes Thread

    Doctor: Bad news, you have terminal cancer and Alzheimer’s.

    Patient: That’s not so bad, I could have had cancer!

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  2. #2
    Don't give up your day job Kim...

  3. #3
    The first rule of Alzheimers club:
    Don’t talk about chess club

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Platinum Member Mongoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009

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  5. #5
    A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair!" Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."

  6. #6
    A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

  7. #7

  8. #8
    There was an old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sex, pull on my penis once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my penis one hundred times."

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Blonde: What does IDK stand for?
    Brunette: I don’t know
    Blonde: Why doesn’t anyone know!

  11. #11
    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

  12. #12
    Someone stole my mood ring, I don’t know how I feel about that.

  13. #13

  14. #14

    cubes in the pubes

  15. #15
    ^Right click that picture
    view full size and check out the face
    on that little girl I posted this last night
    but didn't take a good look @ it -

    The splash under her a$$ doesn't look

    I try harder

    next time

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