The Jokes Thread - Page 5
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  3. #63
    Super Moderator Platinum Member Mongoose's Avatar
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  4. #64
    Billy, WHERE do you get this stuff....cracks me up, LMAO


  5. #65
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  6. #66

  7. #67
    Two ghosts walked into a bar...

    but the bartender said “sorry, we don’t serve spirits”.






  8. #68
    1900: Dracula survived by drinking the blood of virgins...

    2019: Dracula dies of hunger.




    What did the vampire say to the teacher?

    ..."See you next period!"




    What do vampires use to make tea?

    ...tampons.




  9. #69
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  10. #70
    Police officer talks to a driver: "Your tail light is broken, your tires must be changed, and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars!!"

    [Pause]

    Driver: "Alright, go ahead and do it. They want twice as much as that at the garage."


  11. #71
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  12. #72
    I put my Grandma on speed dial, I call that Instagram.








  13. #73
    YOU MAY BE A MUSLIM IF...
    • You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
    • You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
    • You have more wives than teeth.
    • You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
    • You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
    • You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.
    • You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
    • You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
    • You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
    • Your cousin is a former president of the United States.


  14. #74

  15. #75

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