OCS - rough application - 100 word statement.
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  1. #1
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    OCS - rough application - 100 word statement.

    Marines,

    Below is my first draft at my 100 word statement. I am struggling with only 100 words to make it personal while also showing that I respect and admire the values of the Marine Corps and aspire to live to these values. I would appreciate any advice on this. Tear me apart if need be!

    "I realized early on that I wanted to join the military. I am unsure how I came to this realization, but my desire has grown with every tale of courage and valor in the face of loss displayed by great men and women that serve our country. When I chose this pursuit, it became clear, the Marine Corps is the most challenging and, the most elite path. The values that every marine uphold: Honor, courage and commitment are values I admire. I would be honored by an opportunity to lead marines as an officer in the United State Marine Corps."

    Regards,
    Will

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  2. #2
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    Marines,Edit- tried to add a little more backstoryAs a child, I became fascinated with World War Two. It was then that an interest in the military was sparked. My desire was further fueled by many since tales of courage and valor in the face of unimaginable hardship displayed by those that serve our country. When I chose this pursuit, it became clear, the Marine Corps is the most challenging and, the most elite path. The values that every marine uphold: Honor, courage and commitment are values I admire. I would be honored by an opportunity to lead marines as an officer in the United State Marine Corps.Regards,Will


  3. #3
    Super Moderator Platinum Member USMC 2571's Avatar
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    Good statement, BUT if you don't capitalize "Marine" and "Marines" they will say to themselves...huh????? On another note, read Robert Leckie's STRONG MEN ARMED. It combines a narrative of the Pacific War with anecdotes about particular Marines fighting over there. You'll like that book. Take a look at it. Good luck and keep us posted here on this same thread.


  4. #4
    Super Moderator Platinum Member USMC 2571's Avatar
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    Others will be along to help you with this and to evaluate it. But pay particularly close attention to what 2 members have to say, and they are crazymjb (Mike) and Tennessee Top.

    Upon re-reading it, I would skip the 1st part of the 2nd sentence, re being unsure how you came to the realization etc


  5. #5
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    USMC 2571,

    Thank you for the input, much appreciated. Also I will definitely check out that book, thanks for the recommendation.

    Regards,
    Will


  6. #6
    Super Moderator Platinum Member USMC 2571's Avatar
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    You're welcome. I hope you succeed in whatever you end up doing. Others will definitely be along to take a look this thread.

    Also, take a look at various OCS threads in this Ask A Marine section.


  7. #7
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    I will look out for their advice, thanks again!


  8. #8
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    -Update

    As a young boy, World War Two fascinated me and sparked my intense interest in the military. Later in life, servicemember tales of courage and valor in the face of unimaginable hardship fueled my desire to join their ranks. In committing to this pursuit, my path is clear; the Marine Corps is the most challenging and elite path. A challenging and worthy pursuit is always the most rewarding. I admire the values that every Marine must uphold: Honor, courage, and commitment. The honor to lead Marines as an officer in the United States Marine Corps would fulfill my lifelong dream.



  9. #9
    Super Moderator Platinum Member USMC 2571's Avatar
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    Good.


  10. #10
    Current 2nd Lt here, you're good to go with your 100 word essay. You can message me directly if you have other questions about what OCS is looking like currently.


  11. #11
    Marine Friend Free Member Wmcd17's Avatar
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    Thank you Sir.


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