marrying young

[RoboRobinson17]

My Series Gunnery Sergeant told us before we graduated, the best advice for Junior Marines. He told us, no matter how much you love a girl, never marry her. Put a ring on her finger, buy her nice things, take her everywhere you go: but never marry her. Gunnery Sergeant said that if your married, it would seriously limit your options in the Marine Corps. And then he told us that if the Marine Corps wanted us to have wives, they would have issued them to us! Bottom line: its your decision. The long deployments, the floats, the never having enough money. Think about the quality of life, and if thats really what you want. Yeah, you might be able to survive, but do you want to just survive, or have a good quality of life, without worrying about what bills to pay? Now toss in a baby...because if your gone so much, shes going to want some company...a constant reminder of you. Suddenly, that PFC, LCPL. pay doesn't quite make it anymore. Just look at the whole picture. If she wants to be with you, really wants to be with you, she will wait.

Just my opinion...Good Luck

[USMC-FO]

It seems everyone has pretty much given you the same "skinny" here. So let me chime in too.

YOU'RE ONLY 18 ! !!

You should NOT even have this issue on your radar! Let it pop up when you're between 25 and 30 at a minimum !

Never mind what the Corps will expect from you, this sort of thinking is REALLY not in your best interest as a person or this girls either.

DON'T DO IT !! DUMB DUMB DUMB...

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by jeremy
ok thanks guys i will definetly take your words into consideration
but i have another question, wat about after my 1st enlistment if i still love this girl and want to marry her but since shes in the corp i cant find her and if i do n we get married, will the marine
corp station us together. SEMPER FIDELIS

After boot camp and if you score high on the rifle range and if you get to go to a hot spot and shoot at least three enemy soldiers, the Marine Corps issues you a bride.



Sometimes they let you pick one from the village you liberated but most often, depending on your commanding officer they make arrangement for you to marry a female Marine, that has more rank then you do.

[TracGunny]

...that explains it; I always scored "low" expert...no wonder I never married during my tour...

[airframesguru]

WAIT. Trust the advice. Wish I had listened. I got off easy w/o payments or a kid. Others are not so lucky. If you think its bad being "lonley" conpare it to being broke, in legal, explaining issues to the SgtMjr, and so on.

MW

[Chevy2233]

jeremy, I am an 18 year old PFC in the Marine Corps, and I'll tell you what, it is very hard. Being away from you wife for so long sucks big time, trust me. Ive got married after MCT on New Years day. I was with my wife for about 3 days after and then I got sent to Camp Johnson, NC. I've been in forming for over a month and still haven't picked up and my dam school is going to be 3 months long, so who knows how long I'll be here and when I'll see her again. I put in for my BAH when I first got here, that was like a month ago, and they still aint giving it to me, So me and her are both living on the paycheck of a single PFC. I don't know what the hell ADMIN is doing, but they sure are sticking one to me. Im broke as a joke every pay check. If I miss the chow hall, I don't eat. Thats how bad it is. And if you like your sleep like I do, I hardly ever get breakfast. We live from pay check to pay check. Trust me, it hard. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my wife very much and I'm know she loves me, and we both can't wait for school to end, so I can get stationed and we can be together, at least for a little while. I'm just saying if you are going to make the sacrafice financially, and emotionally, make sure shes the right one, and make sure she knows what its going to be like with you gone all the time. Well, anyway, good luck to ya

[Super Dave]

I saw some young guys marry some GOD AWFUL things when I was in. Some I think it was the 1st time they ever had any and fell in love on the spot.
I told myself that the only way I would get hitched while in is if I made it a career. But NO way was i getting married on my 1st tour.

[Christl]

Boy oh Boy you guys all have me scarred. My son (20) got married to his girlfriend (19) before boot camp. He will graduate next week - we are so proud of him - , they will also have a baby soon. I am worried about the long separations that will most likely happen. Someone also talked about financial problems, the recruiter told him, financially they would be fine.
I so hope their marriage will work for the Baby's sake alone. I hope statistics lie.

[jeremy]

thanks gunny you helped alot. semper fidelis

[TracGunny]

Boy oh Boy you guys all have me scarred

Christl:

I hope the intent of all the posts to this thread was not to scare anyone; it certainly is not my intent. Marriage by anyone in their teens or even early twenty’s is risky; the maturity to handle the commitment and responsibility just is not there yet. Being in the Marines does seem to amplify the situation due to the inherent environment the young family is thrust into dealing with; long deployments, constant moves, days away during training, and other stresses that anyone will face, military or not. I have always viewed the Marine spouse as a single parent with none of the freedoms.

I sent you a PM with some “support group” sites and other Marine related sites that may help you and your daughter-in-law deal with and participate in the life of a Marine that is about to invade your worlds. Please follow the links I posted for Jeremy; knowledge is power. Your son and his wife can succeed, and it is entirely up to them, their commitment to each other AND the Corps, and how fast they “grow up” together.

[Das Behaelter]

WAIT-

The worst thing I EVER did was marry so young. Finish your first enlistment at least. You just can't give enough of yourself to the Corps at the beginning of your enlistment by getting married so young.

If it was meant to be, then she'll understand, and comply. If she doesn't wait, then she isn't Marine Corps dependant material. She won't last, and it will end up biting you in the arse.

There is a HELL of a lot more to being the spouse of a Marine than anyone who isn't can understand. I think some young pups have a tendency to be blind on the affects of marriage, not only to themselves, but to their spouses as well.

[snipowsky]

Not a good idea! Listen to Chevy2233! Sounds like he's a man beyond his actual years!

Most the guys in my unit that got married really young, well when we deployed and we got back they were in divorce court while the rest of us was having fun on our leave! If you do it, just make sure she's your mate for life and not some dirty girl who you know will mess around on you anyways!

I should know I was engaged to one of them girls who cheated on me while I was serving my country, and I'm telling you I could have went without that hurt, but it happened and I moved on like any Marine would!

P.S. She was my High School sweetheart, so think before you leap!


LMFAO@Sparrowhawk!

[Dvan]

Since you are asking advice on this issue of marriage I think you are already showing an unusual level of maturity. You are acknowledging and weighing the risks, which is very wise. I got engaged long-distance (over the phone) when I was in my final week of bootcamp at Parris Island. My boyfriend was stationed on the West Coast at the time. When I graduated from Admin School at CampPen, we got married in the base chapel at MCAS El Toro. (chaplain Don Jukum did the honors). We've been married 22 yrs now, and the Marine Corps is no longer an 'issue'.

However, we too went into marriage with our eyes open. There are a LOT of issues that complicate military marriages, many of which have been discussed here already. If you are determined to go through with this wedding, here's the advice I would offer you:

Take pre-marital counseling. It was required by the chaplain who married us. Chaplains deal daily with Marine marriages and the inherent stresses thereof and are well-versed in the challenges facing the military couple.

Do NOT have kids. I know it sounds harsh, but be real. If your both Marines, wait. My husband was left to care for the baby while I went TAD...are YOU ready to be a single man caring for a baby while your wife is deployed? Kids aren't toys or pets, to be left in the care of others while you fulfill your obligations to your enlistment.

Marine marriages can work, but be prepared for all the extra work involved.

[Sparrowhawk]

Originally posted by Super Dave
I saw some young guys marry some GOD AWFUL things when I was in. Some I think it was the 1st time they ever had any and fell in love on the spot.
I told myself that the only way I would get hitched while in is if I made it a career. But NO way was i getting married on my 1st tour.

Super Dave, you brought back some memories of Crater Face in Bangkok.

She always said, to the Marines she was with, " I love you too much," and it was not unusual for a Marine to have both her picture and love letters with him.

Many fell in love with her, until one finally married her as her name disappeared from the hotel roster. LOL

[USMC-FO]

I know of many Marines in Japan--Mt Fuji area--pre VN that fell hard for the ever lovely "Gotemba Ruby" A sort of creature that ate Japan.....much boom boom heard she married some young Marine but never confirmed. I recall paying some yen with some other guys to Ruby to pop a cherry for an 18 yr old...

Ah the memories...