HELP! Wife Dead Set On NOT Letting Our Son Join The Corps
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  1. #1

    HELP! Wife Dead Set On NOT Letting Our Son Join The Corps

    My 17yo son (HS Junior), will be 18yo in November, expressed to me this past week, that upon completion of HS he would like to join The Corps. This news came as a welcome surprise to me. I served in Our Corps from 1980-84.
    My son and I "broke" the news to my wife this past Saturday afternoon. I felt that hearing it from him would be more impactful than say, me telling her first and discussing it with her. It was a very, very ugly scene. Her emotions ranged from utter shock and disbelief, to anger bordering on rage. Of course, I took all of this personally. I maintained my composure and tried to explain all of the positive aspects of the Corps. What was most unsettling is that may son took this very hard. He is very upset that his mom is not supporting his decision.
    My wife wants him to pursue college application in spite of my son not wanting to head in this direction. He explained to his mother that he would attend college after The Corps. In confidence, I informed my son that I support him 100% in his decision and that in order to maintain harmony, for now, "go along" with the college process, but continue to pursue his desire to join The Corps.
    I would appreciate any and all feedback that other parents may have had in such a predicament.

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  2. #2
    Your son will be 18......he doesn't need Mama to hold his hand and make his life decisions anymore. Your wife needs to look at this with an open mind. It's her Sons life, not hers, that she is dictating. He needs to choose his on path in life. Your wife should stand down and keep her mouth shut, if all she can do is pizz and moan.


  3. #3
    Thanks for the reply Mongoose. I agree with you on the point that he will be 18yo soon. That will negate any opposition on her part. As I stated in my post, some sort of harmony needs to be maintained in the meantime. My son and I will achieve this by allowing her to orchestrate the college visits. Meanwhile, I am doing all that I can to set him up for success to join Our Beloved Corps. I have already had a meeting with the local recruiter, so that my son is on their radar. He is also going to take the ASAVAB as soon as school lets out in the spring. Cheers


  4. #4
    If it was my son, I would recommend to go Air Force. The Air Force knows how to live, along with all the same benefits in the end that all the rest of the Services have to offer. Why should he live the way they do in the Corps when he can live like a human being in the Air Force and the pay is always the same. Many more benefits in the Air Force. If I had it to do over again, that would be my choice.


  5. #5
    Our daughter told us from 8th grade that she wanted to be a Marine...yeah, yeah...OK.it was right after 911, so I took it to mean her American Pride. BUT after graduating high school, she still wanted it! SO....I, too, made her go to county college JUST FOR ME...thinking as her mom.....I knew best! NOT TO BE...she obliged my request and in December of 2008 she asked to enlisted. THIS WAS HER DREAM!!! She wanted this to be her life. Unfortunately, she was injured...non-combat--THANK GOD, but....she had 2 surgeries and after 3 years was medically discharged...HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!?!? Had I let her go when she wanted...maybe....maybe not....she would have walked a different path that particular day and NOT gotten hurt and still be IN seeking & fulfilling her dream. WE HAVE TO LET OUR KIDS GO!!!!! God will protect...you just have to believe!!! Let him join. Sure...your heart will break...more so if something happens....but....to see your kid happy...THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!


  6. #6
    Marine Free Member FistFu68's Avatar
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    That’s what Youngmen do that have a Backbone...they join the USMC since 1775 for God Duty Country & Mom hell they even do 10 more pushUPs for MOM...Aye Aye Semper Fi


  7. #7
    Hello, I am hoping to help your situation with your son and your wife... but more importantly HIS MOTHER! I am a single mom of 2. For Years it's ONLY been the 3 of us. My oldest has always expressed interest in the military and always the Marine Corps. We're very very close, not ONLY mother and child but best friends. We would do everything together. My child had 3 full scholarship offers. We went and toured one of the schools one day. My child at that time decided to go to this college and we were set.... WE THOUGHT. A week later my child went to the mall, no big deal. About 11:14am I get a phone call from my child telling me that my child was at the recruiter office, and has decided to do MARINE reserves.... that way they could have both worlds. Ok... no problem. ONLY there was a problem. Marine reserves was all full till 2020.. and my child has NEVER been one to wait around. So at 1:47pm I get my next phone call from my child. This one kid informs me that active duty is for the United States Marine corps is the future they've chosen and needed to hear me say that I am ok with the choice and that I'll support the decision. As badly as I wanted to say NO, and hang up the phone. I replied with YES, I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE TO SUPPORT YOU AND IF THIS IS THE LIFE AND FUTURE AND CAREER YOU WANT... go get it! Make it happen. See the point I'm trying to make is this.. the want or need to be a MARINE to those few and special ones who desire it, it's a beast or a force that lives inside their soul. It's a powerful and fierce beast that has to be fed with adrenaline, self motivation, the power of change, the fear of the unknown but the willingness to take on whatever it is that is headed their way. It's something within them. If they don't live the life that are meant to, if they DON'T chase that desire to and feed that amazing beast that is what makes them the amazing person and future marine they want to be... they will NOT be able to ever get past the felling of being INCOMPLETE and a disappointment to themselves. Not to mention the resentment they will feel towards anyone who held them back or failed to be supportive. I know it's hard and it's scary trust me... I'm living it right now. My child shipped out to boot camp for the Marine Corps Feb 5th. I am sooo proud, yet I am sad I have days where I cry.... but graduation is May 25th from boot camp AND then May 26th from high school. Mine was so ready to start this journey of life, SHE.... yes she gave up her senior year... she went to alternate to get the credits see needed to be done. She turned 18 in November , had all her credits to be done with high school in December.. she sipped on Feb 5th to Parris Island South Carolina...... and she'll be a MARINE before she is an actual high school graduate. I know as mothers we worry, it's ALWAYS been our job and place to protect our children and make sure they are safe. It's time for them to be the adults we've spent Years and tears teaching them to be. The fact that your child has the urge to protect and defend our country shows that you as a parent gave them or taught them something very special. Just support them and love them thru this. It's not a choice that goes away, even if he goes to college he'll probably go after. Heck... my daughter went to the mall... to buy things for college.. and came home a Poolee who was now waiting for a ship date. And I have a daughter a little blonde hair blue eyed beautiful girl who's only 5 foot 2 inches tall. I can't imagine how strong the urge is to a young man.


  8. #8
    Very well said. Thank you for understanding the LOUD call of the Marine Corps that can be satisfied through no other way than being a Marine.


  9. #9
    Of the many message threads transmitted in cyberspace, this one by MarineMom4019 stands out as the most exquisite declarations I've read reciting a parent's love, fear, inspiration and belief for her offspring. It takes a wonderful and strong mother to swallow deep letting her child go, knowing that a step forward may be into total darkness. Likewise, a step forward can also bring joy, knowledge, excitement and new found confidence. If I were your son I would be the first and proudest to say you are my mother. Great post for this Easter. Be well, be kind and may you both sail into the future filled with a thousand diamonds.

    Semper fi,
    USMC Combat Correspondent, RVN 67


  10. #10
    Marine Free Member FistFu68's Avatar
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    Yes Ma’am Very inspiring to say the least seeing my Mom in Combat boots came in close second too Yah


  11. #11
    Luckily even if he wanted to join and you were the only supporting him you only need one parents signature and the mother isn't the only one that counts. Hell suggest to him to join the Airforce. We like to make fun of them but if you were to join there first you wouldn't know or assume you were missing stuff if you dint join the Cream Corn. They have more money and more training to do stuff besides the arrogance we have and worship of the Corps that Marines have any and all branches would really do. TBH the Airforce sets up Airmen better to exit the services than the Marine Corps does they make sure that you have an associates to bachelors before you leave the airforce depending on your rate, the Marine Corps doesnt care if you have anything before you leave. Why do you think we now have the BRS because the Corps wants to pretend like it gives a ****.


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