17 year old daughter just told me she is considering the Marines

[USMC 2571]

It sounds simple, but no one should be in the Corps who doesn't want to be there, or who is there for the wrong reasons. Good post as always, Kamauxx.

[USMC 2571]

That's sort of what I was getting at earlier. To be a Marine, you have to want to become one. It shouldn't be just another branch, to an applicant.

[Tennessee Top]

We have a USMC reserve company (Combat Engineers) here in Knoxville, TN and the majority of those reservists are students at the University of Tennessee. I don't know their educational benefits but I do know many are in the reserves to help pay for school. Platoons in that company have mobilized and deployed to the Middle East at various times since 9/11.

[crazymjb]

We're definitely the most cultish branch. There is a reason the most stickers you see on cars are USMC stickers, despite the Army outnumbering us almost 10:1.

mike

[USMC 2571]

True, you hardly ever see Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard bumper stickers or decals. A visitor from some other country would suppose that the Marine Corps is the largest branch of the U.S. military by far, just based on what is most often on automobiles!

[m14ed]

We're definitely the most cultish branch.

There is a reason
the most stickers you see on cars are
USMC stickers.

despite the Army outnumbering us almost 10:1.

mike

Boy am I stupid !!!

all this time i thought it was pride

[kmama]

You guys are all great, you are giving me so much insight.

I have know a few Marines, dated one maaaaany years ago, it always seemed to be a total mindset, that was it, I do not see this with her. I said to her to sort of live like bootcamp for the next month (I know, I know at home not remotely the same, not even close but you get my thought process), get up before school go run, keep her room spotless, don't argue back with me (lol that would be interesting). She got mad saying I was telling her she can't, I said oh no no no, those words never came out of my mouth, I am saying SHOW ME, show me you do these simple things. She's not getting it that this is serious stuff not oh I think I will be a Marine. She thinks because she likes to shoot and did a Tough Mudder once that this is a good idea.

If my younger said she wanted this, I could see it, she is laser focused when she wants something, plans things out but believe me that has it's drawbacks as well. My oldest has always been a kind of throw it together kind of kid, God bless her, for the most part it's always kind of worked out for her, maybe not to the highest level but things worked out.

I feel like I am bashing her here and I am really not. She's a good kid, only had one real issue with her all through high school. She has some great things about her, her fierce independence, generosity, crazy talented actress, creative, personality that people are just drawn to her. I just don't know that this for her and as a parent I have to express those concerns. I have never been a fan of oh you're 17, 18 what do you want to do with the rest of your life???? Some people have that figured out have their path but I think the majority don't. I don't remotely believe in going to an expensive college just to go, I think most should start at community college before spending insane money.

I don't necessarily think military reserves is no way no how idea for her, I just think Marines would be like pinning the needle on the speedometer your first time driving

[Tennessee Top]

I really don't see any avenues for her to act or be that creative as a Marine. Our primary goal is mission accomplishment (making contact with and destroying the enemy). It would be a shame, for her, to have those talents wasted instead of expanded.

Good to luck to all of you.

[crazymjb]

Creativity is very important towards mission accomplishment, but as Tennessee Top said, there is no real "acting" job in the Marine Corps. Then again, there are virtually no real "acting" jobs (that pay) anywhere in the world. Maybe she could be a famous actress, but I wouldn't hedge my bets on that.

On the reserve side, there is plenty of time to pursue civilian interests. It is still somewhat of a burden, and I guarantee you when she's lower down on the totem pole there will be some regret. Being a junior (think private/private first class) Marine isn't always fun.

As far as pegging the speedometer I'd say it really depends. If she joins the Marine Corps reserves on the intelligence side I think her military experience once she gets to her unit will be on the more mundane side compared to what I'm sure you are thinking about. If she ended up going into the infantry, there will be a lot more being awake at all hours of the night, going on long hikes, digging and sleeping in holes, being drilled on use of weapons and explosives, etc.

The one thing you likely will see in the Marine Corps reserves vs other branches is a relatively consistent expectation that Marines adhere to the standards of what it means to be a Marine. I have a lot of friends in other services, and am myself looking to move over to the Army guard, and none of the other reserve branches take physical fitness and completion of monthly online training, etc, seriously. I have friends in army infantry units who say that they often have multiple people who fail their annual physical fitness test, like 20-30+ people. I think I've seen one, maybe two Marines fail it my 6 years in the reserves. Furthermore, we were always expected to complete our online annual training, as well as correspondence based job training required for promotion. The Marine Corps also was less compromising than the other branches when it came to dealing with civilian conflicts with monthly training.

If she has it in her head that she wants to be a Marine, there may not be a ton you can do. I did have to laugh at the tough mudder and shooting thing. Half the people who run tough mudders and shoot talk about how they were gonna join the military but.... At least your daughter is seriously thinking about it, good for her.

While it's an admirable idea, I don't think you'll do well simulating boot camp at home. Make sure she can get and stay in shape if this is something she wants to do. Make sure she understands what is expected of her physically, and gets herself to that place.

If she does decide to go through with it, make sure you are very insistent that she picks a job that will make her happy, and gets that job. The benefit with the reserves is you can choose your specific job with a specific unit.

Mike

[Hammer]

Here's my suggestion after reading your posts; etc;. When she turns 18; put her in a car and take her to the Marine recruiters office. On the way there; tell her where you are taking her and why. She is now 18; she can make her own decisions, and she is now on her own and that you are tired of her crap. (If she is under 18;tell her that you'll sign the papers for her to join)

If she's ever going to get the message; she will then! Good Luck to You!

[USMC 2571]

I would encourage her, as I said, to explore all branches, unless she absolutely has to become a Marine----then keep in mind that she has never been IN the Marine Corps, so no amount of simulation or "practice" for it is possible. She should be exploring other branches including the USMC, gather info, get brochures, sit down and write out pros and cons for each branch, on a piece of paper. This works. Pros and cons. Look at the pros and cons she wrote and evaluate it, analyze it (her, not you)......the only thing you can and should do at this point is to encourage her to think about all possibilities, all branches, and make a decision, no hurry, no pressure, she does not have to go to boot camp or basic training next week, she has plenty of time to think about these things.....and with regard to this peer pressure, even subconscious or unconscious peer pressure, your daughter will not be living THEIR lives, she will be living her own. So to do things according to what others are doing is not the way to go.

Think, research, get brochures, evaluate, ponder, consider-----all very quietly and systematically. The less discussed between mom and daughter at this point, probably the better. This is a time for her to explore, or not to explore, as she feels like it.

[USMC 2571]

Your basic function now, as I see it, is to guide and encourage and advise. And that's it. Guide, encourage, advise....and a fourth step----step back.

[irpat54]

You guys are all great, you are giving me so much insight.

I have know a few Marines, dated one maaaaany years ago, it always seemed to be a total mindset, that was it, I do not see this with her.

if She goes to Boot Camp, you will see the change come over her, for a lot of people that have trouble focusing on what they want to do the Marines will force them to focus,
when my Daughter went in the first few letters were still civilian type, then after a bit you could see the change come over her to a Military/Marine Corps way of thinking, it was awesome to see that change.
if she decides to go in, she will be fine and will focus more and after 4 yrs or so, you might be surprised as I was when my Daughter reenlisted for another 4 yrs.

IMO the Marine Corps is the best over all the other branches, to get young people to focus, when she gets out she will then have the drive and focus to go after what she truly wants in life.