My mother refuses to support decision to join Marines

[kingjack26]

Hello Marines. First i would like to say thank you all for serving our Country. And i was wondering if its okay if i get alittle advice about the Marine Corps, I am currently looking to Enlist sometime in August maybe September. But my mother said "you should wait and mature before you join so you won't come out crazy etc" and she highly disapproves with me joining the USMC at the age of 18. But personally i think im ready, im in shape to pass the PFT and IST. And i was wondering what do you think about this situtation. Ive already made my decision to enlist but i dont want to be alone. Thank you.

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[Tennessee Top]

At 18, you're legally responsible for your own decisions (she cannot legally make this decision for you and you can enlist without her approval). Most likely, she is just concerned about your safety like all moms naturally are.

You should explain the situation to your recruiter and have them arrange a sit-down with your mom. Recruiters are trained for all kinds of scenarios including this one. Experienced recruiters have been through this sort of issue many times before.

One thing you may want to consider is, looking at a MOS outside of combat (infantry, armor, artillery) or combat support (engineers, AAV's, etc). She should feel better about you joining knowing you will not be on the front lines. Talk to your recruiter about your MOS options.

Good luck and let us know how the meeting went.

[chulaivet1966]

At 18, you're legally responsible for your own decisions (she cannot legally make this decision for you and you can enlist without her approval). .

That's the way I see it...along with T/Top's other well thought out comments.

I'd only add one very personal comment.....
My home life was less than ideal and what my parents may have thought of my 18 year old decision making was totally irrelevant.
So...thinking back on my decision and reasons for joining I would not have wanted the recruiter to talk to my parents at all.
That exercise in drama would never have worked for me.
The fact is, I'd been thinking about it for some time and never said a word to my parents.
One morning my good buddy (yes...on the buddy plan ) and I drove to the recruiter and signed the papers.
We got back, he went to his house, I went to mine and handed my mom the enlistment papers after it was a done deal.
I didn't want them involved with my steadfast decision.....period.
Did the 90 day delay program, graduated HS.....and bye bye.
Sept 1st 1965 I entered boot camp hell for eight weeks and the rest is history.
One of the best decisions of my life.

I'm not at all suggesting you take this route....I'm only reinforcing the quote above....it's your decision.....do what you feel the most comfortable with.

Let the forum know how it went.

Good luck....carry on.

[Kegler300]

You're 18, man up and make a decision one way or the other.

[kingjack26]

I appreciate the reply and I officially told my mom I'm enlisting. She didn't take it well at all which expected but I feel a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. And today we are talking to each other as if nothing ever happened.

[kingjack26]

Thank you for the personal story. I told my mother about me enlisting ladt night officially and I feel better than ever and sometime next week I'm going to talk to my recruiter.

[chulaivet1966]

Thank you for the personal story. I told my mother about me enlisting ladt night officially and I feel better than ever and sometime next week I'm going to talk to my recruiter.

I'm going to presume you were possibly referring to my post.

Hence, I'll confess I actually patronized you a bit since you made your decision and followed through.
When I said...."do what you feel the most comfortable with".

I don't truly ascribe to that statement in every situation.
You will find out in life that always making a decision solely based on what we are comfortable with is the wrong one.
Sometimes you have to employ actual wisdom, accrued over time, and think outside the comfort zone of the present when embarking upon a new path.
I'll let you mull that one over as your years progress.

Lastly, for what it's worth, I think you made the right decision.
You've just made the first important, life determining decision of your life.
Take ownership of it.
Do not disappoint us...and, come back here with the EGA on your life resume.

Best....do carry on....

[USMC 2571]

Good post and good advice, as always, Wayne---I PMd him and we had a little helpful exchange, and basically he did the smart thing and did not get upset during these little discussions with his mom, and that is very effective. It takes two to be in an argument. But as I mentioned to him, do check other threads in Ask a Marine, this has come up numerous times, and eventually, most moms who were against their sons or daughters joining?? end up standing tall as proud parents at MCRD graduation!-----OP did a great job in dealing with this common situation. Is there one Mom who says, hey, this is FANTASTIC! My son is actually gonna be in DANGER from flying rounds!!!! Wow!!!-----no, it's more like, WHY WHY WHY??? But OP, good for you for having the maturity to just stand by, let her vent a little, and keep things calm.

[Phantom Blooper]

you should wait and mature before you join

You already been given the speech about being 18 and able to make your own decisions as an adult male...except some things you have to wait to the ripe old age of 21 to accomplish.

My question to you however is why does your mother think at 18 you are not mature?

17 year olds are mature enough to make a decision to join the service. Many Marines over the years can attest to that.

The law just states you need parental permission because you are not 18.

So what makes your mother say such?

And for the record...if you are mature enough to make this decision...on your own...

If you enlist you will mature rapidly or regress just as fast.....and if you stay in for twenty years you will be Methuselah physically and mentally you will be more mature than any of your peers in civilian life......

[USMC 2571]

True, Chuck.

[Mongoose]

Your Mothers dislike of you joining the Corps is nothing new. But, it's your life and your decision.

[USMC 2571]

As I mentioned, Billy, tons of threads about this exact thing. Very common.

[mexbearlll]

Just remember You will get out of Life what You put in to it. So just do Your best at what ever You decide.