I need your help

[anotherwannabe]

Hello Marines,

I need help. Bad. I went to talk to a recruiter today. I was filling out this booklet, this sheet... I don't know what to call it. I answered all questions truthfully and honestly, 100%. I did the right thing. And God did it backfire. When I was younger, I considered suicide. Yeah, I told the truth. I don't know whether to be happy with myself for upholding integrity and my morals or kick myself for being so stupid. Leaning more towards the latter. The recruiter told me, "I can't help you man. I wish I could, but I can't. You can try the army, you can try the guard, but I don't think you can get in the Marines. Maybe once you are 18 you can go talk to some other recruiter but otherwise, you'll just get referred to me, and I can't help you."

I don't plan to give up. I want to serve my country. I'm not a desk jockey, and I ain't a suit either. It's my goal to do infantry, and I want to be part of the best in the world if I'm going to do it at all. I know it's the service that counts above all, but with the Marines, there's more than just the infantry. It's the brotherhood that attracts me too.

I've got my reasons why I considered giving up on life. You're probably not interested in them. What I need to know is this: none of my information is really "in the system." So, in THEORY, I could go to see any recruiter in the country once I hit 18 and can enlist. I know this is a stupid question, or series of them, but should I? Should I go after this dream? Was it a good idea to tell the truth even?

I apologize if I'm being whiny... I just don't know what to do right now. The military means everything to me. I could find happiness in the army, heck even the navy, but it's Marine infantry that pushes me more than anything.

Respectfully,
Mike

[USMC 2571]

How long ago did you consider suicide? How old were you then? And no trace of paperwork exists, it was just your own thoughts?

[USMC 2571]

I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but CONSIDERING suicide is far different from making attempts at it, whether half hearted to get attention or serious attempts. But that's just my own opinion. Look, some will advise you to forget it, to go somewhere else, to not disclose info the next time, others will advise you to be completely honest, but all this, again in my own view, depends on just what you told them, and on your exact history. I.e. documented or not documented history. Let others come on here and see what their opinions are. You'll get helpful responses here. Be patient.

[anotherwannabe]

USMC2571,

The last time I considered suicide in a serious, genuine way-- where it was not just some passing thought that occurred to me-- was when I was roughly ten years old. I had a rough time in middle school, like everyone else, but the worst day was when someone said something about my grandfather. I watched the man draw his last breath, and when people talk crap about him, it stings like hell. All that bullying coupled with a belief I could never live up to his standards took it's toll on a week 10 year old kids mind. I survived, obviously, but regardless I genuinely thought about it.

As for paperwork, I suppose there could be some from when I saw a psychiatrist. When I went to see him, I talked primarily about the death of my grandfather and being molested as a kid. There was some issues that went along with that, like how I can't look a woman in the eyes for more than a minute and stuff related to that. We talked about that one day where I truly considered ending it all, but I don't think his records even count for my medical records. He explained it better than I ever could.

If it matters any, my grandfather was in the Navy. Think he served in Korea... did it for I think 12 or 15 years, became a Chief Petty Officer. Don't know if it's worth mentioning, but I feel a need to.

Thanks and with respect,
Mike

[anotherwannabe]

USMC2571,

In response to your second comment, I'd like to say thank you. I was told by the recruiter the next time I talk to another recruiter to "leave some stuff out." I don't know how I feel about that, but considering I want this to be my future, I might as well. It feels wrong, but I don't know what else to do far as that goes. And yes, I will await further opinions. Thank you so very much.

Respectfully,
Mike

[MunkyVsRobot]

My suggestion is don't. Just don't. I dont know what happened to you when you were younger, but I do know when put under stress especially 13 weeks of constant stress people do some dumb things. When I went to Parris Island at least 3 people tried drinking bleach in our company usually tried during firewatch. people tried running away.

I would suggest not doing it.

ETA: Scratch that I just read it and for the most part my statement still stands. especially being in the infantry if that is what you want they are ruthless to boots.

[anotherwannabe]

MunkyVsRobot,

Thank you for your input sir. I understand full well where you are coming from, and I appreciate your voice. I would hope you believe me when I say I am long past the point of even seriously considering suicide, but you are obviously not obligated to believe me. Regardless, thank you for your input once again.

Respectfully,
Mike

[USMC 2571]

Wait and see what others say. I can tell you that in this day and age every single thing is a big deal. Certainly suicide is a big deal, but you obviously didn't commit it and whether you were just thinking about it or seriously going to do it is another question. But in 2015 it's probably a crime somewhere that you even thought about it for two seconds when you were seven years old. We've come THAT far in this country from common sense. So just wait for more responses here, you are in no hurry, you can't join up right now anyway because of your age. But be patient and others will be along.

[anotherwannabe]

USMC2571,

Once again, thank you for your encouragement in my goals. I agree that at times our country does seem to lack common sense-- but what can anyone do except try and strive to eliminate ignorance wherever they find it?

Respectfully,
Mike

[josephd]

quick and concise....keep your mouth shut about it

The Marine Corps has the luxury of being selective right now about who they allow to enlist and reenlist. If you believe that having suicidal thoughts is no longer an issue then don't bring it up as it is a non-issue at this point. You need to be very honest with yourself though because if these kinds of thoughts rear its ugly head while in boot camp, MCT, MOS school, the fleet, on deployment...you will find yourself on the outside looking in and the paperwork that comes with it will have to be stapled to every resume and job application you fill out in the future.

[anotherwannabe]

josephd,

Thank you for your addition to the discussion. I have thought long and hard on this and am certain I no longer have these thoughts. I know that to some people that is a dubious statement, but it is the truth. If I genuinely thought I would be a danger to the fellow men and women who serve this country I would not allow myself to push my dream to serve, regardless of how much I want it.

Respectfully,
Mike

[Tennessee Top]

Suicide has been a major problem in the military for a long time and taken extremely seriously. The quickest way off Parris Island, no questions asked, is to even hint at wanting to hurt yourself. Because of that, I'm sure recruiters have hard and strict guidelines on the subject (like...don't even touch it).

Obviously, in order to serve, this part of your history cannot be brought up to a recruiter ever again. I'm sure the question regarding suicidal thoughts/threats/gestures will have to be answered on some medical questionnaire at MEPS (because of its significance). At that time, you will have to decide which is more important, maintaining your integrity/morality, or willingly fraudulently enlisting - and living with that answer.

Once at bootcamp, there will be a "moment of truth" where you will be given one last chance to come clean about your past. After that, those found guilty of fraudulent enlistment are given an administrative discharge and sent back home (that's the paperwork josephd mentioned).

The decision is yours. I personally cannot offer any advice because I never faced this situation. I will add however, integrity (doing the right thing even when nobody is watching) is one of our 14 leadership traits. Good luck.

[MunkyVsRobot]

Suicide has been a major problem in the military for a long time and taken extremely seriously. The quickest way off Parris Island, no questions asked, is to even hint at wanting to hurt yourself. Because of that, I'm sure recruiters have hard and strict guidelines on the subject (like...don't even touch it).

Obviously, in order to serve, this part of your history cannot be brought up to a recruiter ever again. I'm sure the question regarding suicidal thoughts/threats/gestures will have to be answered on some medical questionnaire at MEPS (because of its significance). At that time, you will have to decide which is more important, maintaining your integrity/morality, or willingly fraudulently enlisting - and living with that answer.

Once at bootcamp, there will be a "moment of truth" where you will be given one last chance to come clean about your past. After that, those found guilty of fraudulent enlistment are given an administrative discharge and sent back home (that's the paperwork josephd mentioned).

The decision is yours. I personally cannot offer any advice because I never faced this situation. I will add however, integrity (doing the right thing even when nobody is watching) is one of our 14 leadership traits. Good luck.

Not anymore, that will lengthen your stay. The quickest way off is to do your 13 weeks. I still heir on the side of caution like i said before. If the OP thinks he has truly moved on from his past then go for it but just keep in mind under 13 weeks of constant stress people change and OP you may revert back.

[anotherwannabe]

Tennessee Top,

I understand where you are coming from and I thank you for your advise and wishes of good luck.

Respectfully,
Mike

[anotherwannabe]

MunkyVsRobot,

I will definitely take to heart what you say about "heiring on the side of caution." In addition, I want to take a moment to thank all those who have commented in this thread as well as those who have served in general for their service to this country. Thank you.

Respectfully,
Mike