Parent are unhappy

[kanako]

I enlisted into the DEP about a week ago and I was very excited, I told everyone about it and was very proud. But when I got home that night, my parents were very unhappy and haven't talked to me since I enlisted. They told me before I enlisted that if I did this, it would be the biggest mistake of my life and that they would be done being my parents. I thought they would get over it so I went ahead and enlisted anyway. But not I can't help but wonder if they will get over it. Did I make a mistake? They are refusing to sign the waivers that would allow me to go to the poolee functions (I'm 17). Should I explain this to my recruiter? He is mad at me for not showing up to stuff. Or should I just drop out of the DEP?

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[josephd]

Well you're only 17 so you are still legally under their rule. Let your recruiter know your parents are giving you a hard time, they know how to deal with it.

If they absolutely won't allow you to do this, just wait it out until you're 18 and you can do what you want without their permission

[Hammer]

Josephd is correct in his post. It's a tough situation, but doable as long as you stick to your guns, and your parents see that you are sincere in what you want to do with your life.

Did your mother or father serve in the military? Any brothers or sisters etc; serve?

What are the reasons they are so upset? It may come down to the fact that they now are realizing that their son has grown up, and making decisions on his own.

[kanako]

My dad was a Marine. And They wanted me to enlist into the Air Force because they think the Air Force can offer me jobs that would better translate into civilian jobs. But the problem isn't that I haven't enlisted, they signed those papers and allowed me to enlist but now they wont sign papers saying I can work out with the other poolees and stuff like that. That's why I think it might be kind of hard for my recruiter to understand everything that is going on. I want to tell him everything but I don't know how and I also don't want him to think my parents are terrible people

[USMC 2571]

Yes, indeed, level with your recruiter immediately. Sometimes they go and talk to the parents themselves. This isn't the first time this has happened, parents wanting to manipulate kids into living the kinds of lives the PARENTS want them to live. Well, the parents already had their lives, they don't get to live through their kids. That is very unfair. But----they will either come around or not. Normally they end up coming around, and are giving you a hard time in the hopes that you will see things their way and do things accordingly. Stick to your guns. It's your life, not theirs.

I would 100% avoid confrontations with them.

[USMC 2571]

We posted at the same time----your recruiter has seen this before. Let him handle it. Tell him everything.

[USMC 2571]

By the way, if you do a search here under various key words, you'll see how many times this issue has come up over the years.

[Phantom Blooper]

I am not trying to diss your parents or have you go against their wishes.

However your Dad is not totally correct.

Regardless of what branch of the Armed Forces you go into whether it be the Air Force or Marines....or the other
after you leave the service with whatever MOS you had......you can if the job market allows or your education
allows you to you can get an outstanding job in the civilian force or you can be happy doing menial labor.

Just because you are a Air Traffic controller in the Air Force or Marines doesn't mean you will work for an airport.

If you are a grunt or in the 03 field in the Marines doesn't mean you are dumb or illiterate.....you have many skills....
and you can have a high paying job.

Your transition from the service depends on you and the job market and economy....not what you did in any branch.

Although the common misconception is that because the Air Force is mostly technical you will transition into civilian life with no hassles...worries and have a big paycheck every Friday.

I know that parents are looking out for your welfare and don't want their child to make the same mistakes as they did.....
however it is your life and I would put any Marines skills against any other branches comparable MOS and the Marine has just as good of chance maybe even better because of the way he carries himself and his instilled bearing during and after service if they are not a shiatbird.

Tell the recruiter and maybe have him set up a meeting with your parents.....doesn't hurt.

But.....in the long run it is your choice...your life....your career.....you might just have to wait until you are eighteen.

Good luck!

[USMC 2571]

Great post as always, Chuck-----Hannah, listen carefully, don't misconstrue what I am about to say as saying the Air Force is better than the Marines. That's not what I'm saying-----if someone has no DESIRE to join the Marine Corps, then in my opinion, which is just one of many, is that the Air Force would be a good choice compared to the other branches. Why? Schools, no rifles, less petty BS, etc----this is compared to the other military services.....You have to want to join the Corps in order to do it, and apparently the Corps is what you want. So go for it, now or when you turn 18.

I can see where your dad is coming from. Oh no, I went through USMC boot camp and I KNOW how it is, and now my beloved daughter is CHOOSING that over a nice plush comfortable existence in the USAF?????!!!!!!!------what is she thinking?

So their support is conditional. At this point. If you go USAF, fine, but if you go USMC---no.....but that will change.

1. Talk to your recruiter right away. Disclose all this.
2. Do not get into arguments with your mom and dad. They're not being mean, they are concerned about your safety.
3. Make your OWN choices.

Analyze yourself. Am I doing this to show my dad I'm good enough to be a Marine just like he was/is? Is this why I am joining?----be careful re the reasons why you want one thing instead of another. Always, in life, make sure you're doing things for the right reasons.

[Tennessee Top]

Whatever it's worth. I have a niece who is a Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps right now (she is an electrician). I have another step-niece who is a senior in highschool and considering enlisting in the military after graduation. My LCpl niece is telling her to join the Air Force and, whatever she does, DO NOT JOIN THE MARINE CORPS! And, she is a meritorious PFC and a meritorious LCpl going up for meritorious Cpl so no shiatbird with a poor attitude. Sounds a lot like the OP's parents to me.

[USMC 2571]

Good post, Top----I think that's similar to what I was saying about people who KNOW how tough the Corps is, and knowing that, while they have no regrets that they joined, they do try to steer others in different directions.

But there is a fallacy in that, too, and that is, if the Air Force is so much better, why did YOU join the Corps?

That is a real conversation stopper. LOL

[Tennessee Top]

Understand the concept. As we all know, the perceptions of the USMC can be a lot different than the realities (for better or worse) depending on one's experiences. One cannot truly appreciate what it's like being a Marine until you are one. And, that's a good thing. I also believe being a female changes the perceptions and realities significantly.

[Marine1011]

It's more than a concept, it's reality, i.e. that there is no doubt that the Marines are in fact tougher than the other services. No one can dispute that, I trust. Therefore, people try to (some of them, at least) direct friends and family way from the Marines and into other branches.

[Marine1011]

But just because it's the toughest and strictest does not mean no one should join it. That's hardly what we're saying at all. We're basically saying that because the Marines are the strictest branch of the military, some would say others should avoid it. And as someone said earlier, it's indeed interesting that those who counsel others about this, themselves joined the Marines.

[Hammer]

Well, I'd be willing to bet that should she proceed with her intentions to join the Corps against her parents wishes, that the proudest Parents in the reviewing stand at Parris Island when she graduates will be hers.ws?

Maybe, her father having been a Marine has some memories that he'd rather forget with women Marines while he was in. Who knows? Speaking from experience; I was one proud Marine Parent when my son passed in review at PI.