How difficult is it to be in a relationship when leaving for bootcamp?

[MHeckman52]

I am 17 years old, and I am leaving for bootcamp in April. I have been with my girlfriend for the past 2 years and she said she is 100 % willing to stay with me when I leave. I have enlisted active duty, with the MOS of Reconnaissance man. I was hoping to get some information from experience on what it is like to be separated for long periods of time and how hard it is to essentially be in a serious relationship with both the love of your life, and the United States military. Any advice and tips would be much appreciated! Although this is on my mind, I'm extremely excited to get out there and finally make my dreams of becoming a US Marine reality!

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[Phantom Blooper]

You and your girlfriend are the only ones that can answer this question. There are going to be long separation's and the Marine Corps will come first. Dear John and Jodie's are not uncommon....however if you both have the " want & will " it can work......But remember once you actually enlist....you have to be 100% dedicated to the Marine Corps. Good Luck!


I, Poolee Showershoe, take you the United States Marine Corps to be my lawfully wedded life,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day of arriving at the MCRD,
I will give to you
in the presence of God and all those in attendance at DEP my pledge & sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful servant
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad .
I further promise to love you without reservation,
honor and respect you, give you my 110% and
provide for your needs as best I can.
I will protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live!!!!!!!!

[irpat54]

as was stated above, it takes a very special person to be ether Married to or being involved with in a serous way with a Marine, the Corps will always come first and foremost, She will always be second fiddle to the Corps, as long as She can accept that, (not in just saying, but really understanding it) and you keep your end of it,( because there are a ton of temptations out in the fleet) you should be able to make it work..

Good luck..

[Baker1971]

And how old is she ???

[ameriken]

So she is fine with being lonelyl, bored and celibate while you spend 3 months at boot camp, then maybe another 3 months at your MOS school, and then 12 months in Okinawa, then wherever the Corps decides to send you after that?

Come to think about it, are you fine with being lonely bored and celibate while you are tempted by the various flavors of other states and countries?

Divorce rates can be pretty bad in the Corps. I imagine the Dear John rate for BF/GF is even higher.

[USMC 2571]

Not to dampen his spirits, but the reality is that these kinds of (young) relationships, 16, 17 years old hardly ever last past COLLEGE, let alone the USMC and long distances and absences. Even people in their mid 20s, 30s, 40s find it difficult.

[josephd]

Not going to say it's impossible. I will say though that you are only 17 and you'll be 18-22 during your enlistment. Trust me when I say that you WILL want to be single.

You are getting the opportunity to basically workout and train for a living along with getting to travel all over the world. Do you really want to be tied down to a girl at home, who may or not be being faithful, while you could be enjoying yourself?

[mexbearlll]

It all depends of You Two, and if You both are willing to work on it ? We got Married @ 18 and 19 and have been together 33 years with lots of time apart . But as I say You'll get out of Married Life and the CORPS what You willing to put in to it...You both need to TALK about what you want !!!

[Big Boz]

And how old is she ???

Jody? Is that you?

[PJones64]

haha that was good

[MunkyVsRobot]

You are 17 and I am guessing she is 16 or 17 my advice is break it off. no sense in her putting off her life for 4 - 5 years if you are active duty. You will only get to see her on leave and maybe just maybe youll be able to put in an out of bounds chit for a 96 to go see her assuming you are stationed close enough to home.

You 2 are young and dumb and are going to act accordingly, 100% of the people on this forum were young and dumb at one point remember this isnt the 40's and 50's anymore if you arent home she more often than not is going to be far from Mrs faithful especially when you are gone for min 3 months to bootcamp 1 month to MCT then however long to MOS school and then when you get to come home for thanksgiving christmas time.

So break it off save yourself the headache and heartache at boot camp cause you will get a dear john letter and try to drink bleach cause you cant handle it. Seen it happen hell we had people try to escape MCRDPI so just do it if it is worth it she will still be there when you are ready too.

[mexbearlll]

MunkyVsRobot, I have to disagree, We got Married in the 80's and it's been working for 33 years for US. My Son & DIL got Married 3 years ago @17 and 18 just had their 2nd child and just moved into base housing. They are having a blast raising their little Family ( I just got back from 29 palms, Myself ). I think, it's just that People NEED to TALK about they want out of Life before just Jumping into it. As My Son & DIL did... just My 2 cents

[Phantom Blooper]

Not ALL men are unfaithful and *****mongers..............If it is solid now.......it will be solid 5 years from now.......but regardless of era it takes special people to stay in a relationship while in any branch of service............one can go on liberty and be celibate..........or...............you can go fishing and end up with crabs...........Age is a factor.........but I have seen very mature 16 and 17 year olds. But the main concern is can they both be married and endure the hardships of the Marine Corps?????????? If not then you should rethink your options and not put yourself in that position if you can only think with one brain at a time!

[ArroyoBoss]

I went to boot camp while with my girlf friend and we were only together for a year. It was pretty difficult, only in the aspect that I was so used to seeing her beautiful face, that when I didn't and was constantly dealing with the **** from DI's, I felt down. But don't. If you guys really love eachother, she will send you letters (always 100 times better to make your day great) and will be loyal. Plus, she suprised me on my graduation. We've been together for out second year and I love her with all my heart. Just gotta' belive in your relationship and your women, and all will go well.

[Tennessee Top]

It is impossible to put into words what a long term separation from the love of your life feels like. That is something one must experience for themselves. And, everyone deals with it in their own way - some, better than others. But, Marines do it all the time (occupational hazard). The facts are, the divorce rate in the military is higher than the civilian world for obvious reasons (low pay, frequent long separations, infidelity, etc). And, the rate for the sea services (USN & USMC) is the highest of all. The USMC is getting back to its expeditionary roots (meaning forward deployed more often than sitting at some base stateside). Also, with the troop drawdown (5K in 2015 and another 5K next year), those left will have to deploy more often to maintain the same operational tempo (less bodies to do the same amount of work). It is possible your relationship can survive all the obstacles (all my friends are still married but my marriage did not survive my first deployment). In the end, you are going to do what you want to do regardless of what anyone here says. Good luck.