Just to lighten it up a bit!

[RichLundeen]

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize...it was your money to start with.


2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, which stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who does not get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it is like a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you have accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into our
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you are eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an *******

Semper Fi

Rich

[greybeard]

Some of them hit pretty close to home. Naw- I won't claim all of em, but I used to be a master at #4.

[RichLundeen]

Number 5 for me, Graybeard!

Semper Fi

Rich

[VMGRMech]

9 and you can't tell me otherwise

[Barrio_rat]

Well, I don't know about me but I work around multiples of 2,3 and 18.. I'm living 5 and am hoping for 1... And I'm just waiting for 11 so I won't have to worry about any of it any more! LOL

[firstsgtmike]

greybeard,

It just shows to go ya, what happens when you quit too soon and lose your claim to fame.

(Charley, Charley, I coulda been a contenda!)

Believe it or not, I'm the guy who invented one-play.

Then I invented two-play.

I still wasn't satisfied, so I invented three-play.

When I saw I wasn't getting anywhere, I quit.

But the NEXT guy who came along and took over, (his name escapes me) perfected the technique which has since become a household (or at least a bedroom) word.

I've had several other near misses for immortality, but I'll save those stories for another time.

[greybeard]

I know what ya mean firstgstmike. I've always been a day late or a $20 bill short of immortality myself.

& ya know that sheet shave shower thing? There used to be another 's' thing I could slip in there right quick and still make my appointed place of duty. Now the sheet part takes too long.

[RichLundeen]

Ah, but the 'sheet' part gives ya the chance to read at least one of two newspapers, Don!

[TracGunny]

If it weren't for the 'sheet' time, I would never have time to study for tests... Gives me a new understanding of how the term 'library' became synonymous with the head...