A Mom looking for answers

[TNelson4425]

My son who is 16 has had the life long dream literally since he was 4 years old to be a Marine. He graduated early so he could join when he turns 17 this summer. He just recently got into some trouble. It pains me and shames me to say those words but I need some direction to point him in and it is the truth. I am not here to make excuses deny the truth, get sympathy or get a free pass for him. I am looking to show him what needs to be done to still accomplish his dream of being a member of the Corps and then let him do the work necessary to make it happen.

Let me explain my son went to pick up his friend's girlfriend with the friend and were pulled over by border patrol and led to secondary inspection where the guy 24 years old handed my son his and his girlfriends pipes and a small amount of pot for him to hold as the boyfriend said to my son he was a minor and would be ok. My son FOOLISHLY took possession. He was turned into the Sheriff where he was arrested. We went to the first meeting with the Probation Officer where he pled guilty because in our eyes he was guilty he admitted accepting the stuff that was handed to him. The arresting Sheriff told me and is willing to write a statement for him indicating that he thought my son was a fool for being with these two, but that he felt is a was sleazy for them to have unloaded on a minor.
I certainly can not say that my son is innocent here he was a fool and made an incredibly wrong choice. A choice that we all fear will hamper his getting into the Marines.
upon a background check it can be found my son being an active member of his community, a good student, a strong intact family background and no previous disciplinary problems and then THIS . We will disclose this 100% honestly and not hide from the truth .
My questions are simple:
Is this something he recover from?
what is the first step ?
How does he go about restoring his integrity, honor and reputation for the Corps.
( I have my own punishments and rebuilding I am making him do to make up for the shame he has placed on our family, I just know that a mother's word for her son is not what it takes to have him shine for the Marines)
I look forward to any answers I get
Thank you so much
Teresa N

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[elliscraig12]

The Corps is drawing down right now and this won't look good. There's a lot of competition right now for what few slots there are. People already in are having a hard time staying in. Bottom line, talk to the recruiter. He's the only one who can answer that. Don't be surprised if they don't waive it, but there's always hope. At best he may be able to go to another branch and serve and join the Corps at a later date.

Either way, he needs to stop hanging around guys that do drugs and find friends that won't use him to get themselves off the hook. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[thewookie]

Bottom line, talk to the recruiter. Good luck and let us know what happens.

Right there.

In the big picture with a good mother like you appear to be - he has plenty of time to correct himself. But, I think this summer might be out of the question. Good news is in a few years we will probably be in war with somebody else and the 'standards' for enlistment will ease, again.

Good luck.

[advanced]

Since you seem to have some rapport with the arresting Sheriff, go talk with him again about taking your son's case back to court. Possibly with the Sheriff's assistance and a good attorney you can have your son's criminal records expunged after a certain period of time based on his good behavior.

Also, since your son is not yet legally an adult (unless he was charged as 1) his record should not show up upon a background check.

[Rocky C]

Don't be too hard on yourself Theresa, as you and I know, parenthood does not come with a manual to go by and we and our children make mistakes. We all make mistakes and that is why they put erasers on pencils so we can correct them.

Some great advice was given here already so I will say almost the same.

Have the Sheriff do the best he can, have your Son stay away from bad influences, have him speak with a Marine Corps Recruiter and be honest about everything, take the summer for the Family to heal together and then go forward from there.

Prayers outbound and Best Wishes to You, your Son and your Family.
This shall pass...

[travis mcgee]

I have some questions regarding your son's contact with a recruiter prior to this incident. Does he have a recruiter? Is he in the Delayed Entry Program? Has he been going to his recruiting station for PT? You mention that he has plans to join this summer when he turns 17. Have you signed a waiver as his guardian allowing him to join at age 17? If the answer is yes to all of the above, and as others have stated, he needs to talk with his recruiter right away.

If your son has had a lot of contact hours and has a good relationship with his recruiter then he/she will give you the best advice. And he/she will most likely go to bat for your son. My son joined when he was 17 and he was at the recruiting station 3 times a week either volunteering or participating in structured physical training exercises. And this was 8 months before he went to boot. During the winter before he went to boot camp he was in a minor fender-bender accident. The officer determined it was my son's fault. He called his recruiter and the first thing his recruiter asked him was whether or not he got a ticket, he didn't and his recruiter was relieved. I am relaying this story to give you some real perspective on what kind of response your son will receive once he has talked to his recruiter.

I wish you and your son the best of luck.

Cheers,

[TNelson4425]

Thank you guys so much for your input . It certainly makes me feel better knowing there is direction.

Good news is that he has been sent through a diversion program and is NOT convicted of anything....He is not adjudicated !! His case is now closed and when he turns 18 they will seal his record. Despite that we will not hide this from the recruiter and will still give full disclosure. Travis, no he does not have a Recruiter yet. I wish we would have had a previous relationship . He is going in though this next week with a family friend (who we finally confided in, as I stated above this is quite shameful) who is a retired Staff Sargent in the Corps to see officially where my son stands. We have decided though that this summer is no longer an option and that he would like to have a solid year of credibility and implementation of whatever the recruiter tells him he needs to do to be eligible.

Again thank you each for responding, it was a great relief to be able to ask the questions I needed to.
Many blessings
Teresa

[TNelson4425]

Thank you Rocky !

[TNelson4425]

I will update you when we speak with the recruiter.

Thank you !

[TNelson4425]

elliscraig12, I am happy to report that his friend list dropped dramatically and only the "qualified ones" remain in his life. This is a hard way to learn what Mom always says that you are the company you keep.
Thank you for your candor !
Many blessings
Teresa

[advanced]

If you will refer to my post #4 above, as a juvenile your son has a record. Since your son is in diversion if he waits till he is 18 to contact a recruiter he has NO RECORD. Since he's going to sit out this year anyway, wait till he is 18 and he has to disclose nothing since his arrest is sealed. I also spent many years as a cop. Just saying.

[TNelson4425]

If you will refer to my post #4 above, as a juvenile your son has a record. Since your son is in diversion if he waits till he is 18 to contact a recruiter he has NO RECORD. Since he's going to sit out this year anyway, wait till he is 18 and he has to disclose nothing since his arrest is sealed. I also spent many years as a cop. Just saying.

Thank You very much !!!!