New father questions/advice
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  1. #1

    New father questions/advice

    Good morning. I have so many things going through my mind right now I'm not even sure how to ask my questions or even what is important to ask. Please, bare with me.

    Background:
    I'm out in Twentynine Palms right now attending the Communications Electronics School. I was home for Recruiting Assistance back on November 1st. When I was home, I had a "romantic encounter" with this girl I have only been acquaintances with for years. She ended up getting back with her ex boyfriend and pregnant after I left (or so I thought). I'm home on holiday leave now and just this morning got some news that her ultrasound from 3 days ago puts the date of conception on the day following when we were together.

    Now, I'm not sure what I should do first (besides explain this situation to my command ASAP). I'm 29 years old and I love the idea of having a kid. As far as the girl, I really don't know how I feel about her. I'm not going to be quick to just marry some girl I really don't know. I understand that having sex with her was my first mistake in that regard. I don't know if there's any other tests we can do to make sure that it is in fact my baby besides go on Maury and have a DNA test. I'm back to California tomorrow and she will be here near my family in Massachusetts. I don't know if she is going to be with her boyfriend any longer. I don't know how I can help my baby have the best care. I had already requested duty in Okinawa as well and it might be too late to change that. I'm supposed to be done with training in April.

    I'm sorry for the long post and random thoughts but I'm kinda just trying to get everything out before I forget. As much as my friends can provide me advice on this, I'm sure one of my Marine brothers could give a much greater understanding of the situation I'm in.

    LCpl Crump

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  2. #2
    Squad Leader Platinum Member Zulu 36's Avatar
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    First thing: Make certain that the baby is YOURS! Do not admit paternity until DNA tests prove it so. Don't take her word for ANYTHING. Calculating conception is a crap shoot and can be inaccurate by days, if not weeks. Demand DNA testing since she seems to be a sleep-around type.

    If the kids is yours, be prepared to pay child support for the next 18-years. I wouldn't marry the girl though. Don't add half of everything you own to the potential disaster in progress.


  3. #3
    I doubt very much that is possible for anyone to predict when said baby was conceived, or if you are the one who did it. Personally I would wait for this child to be born, then have a DNA test. I would also let my 1st Sgt know what is going down. Sounds to me like this young lady just might like sleeping around. The one thing you do not need at this time of your young life is a baby. Good luck to you and keep the zipper up.


  4. #4
    Marine Free Member Apache's Avatar
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    Previous posts said it all.
    Burden of proof is on the young lady.
    Then you can talk about support.
    Don't marry her when you're "not sure"

    Above all talk to your 1st right away


  5. #5
    Thank you for the words of advice. I do intend to get a paternity test ASAP. Thanks, again.


  6. #6
    Like the rest of your brothers say get a dna test !!! I was a corpsman and there is no fact in the conception game. Dna all the way!!

    Semper fi my brother and good luck


    stephhen docc haansen hm3 fmf


  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Zulu 36 View Post
    First thing: Make certain that the baby is YOURS! Do not admit paternity until DNA tests prove it so. Don't take her word for ANYTHING. Calculating conception is a crap shoot and can be inaccurate by days, if not weeks. Demand DNA testing since she seems to be a sleep-around type.

    If the kids is yours, be prepared to pay child support for the next 18-years. I wouldn't marry the girl though. Don't add half of everything you own to the potential disaster in progress.
    The Marine Corps wont give you money for the child or let you put him into DEERS or on TRICARE until you get a paternity test even if you are 100% sure the kid is yours. Happened to a kid at my school house you need a paternity test then youll need to get a copy of the birth certificate, I dont know if your name has to be on the birth certificate.


  8. #8
    Buy some condoms.


  9. #9
    It seems like your brothers have given you some good information. Now its up to you. Always remember, your a Marine, which means a job. Which means somebody to take care of them. Dont allow whats between your legs or hers to rule you. Be a true Marine and follow what your mind tells you and not your heart.


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