Marine Marriage

[TexasStep]

Step-son scheduled to marry in November (he's one year in - E3). Don't believe he is ready. His mom is having extreme doubts of success (both marriage and Marine life). Not involving his family much because we are not in total support of decision. Anyone out there been through it before?

[Tennessee Top]

Yes, been there, got the t-shirt. Many people say at least wait till you have more experience and rank (higher pay) but I was a Sergeant on my second enlistment when I got married and that still did not make a difference for me. You can tell a couple about the hardships of military life but until they actually go through the many deployments and long separations they can't really understand the stress it puts on a relationship. I had to go to Okinawa, Japan for a year on unaccompanied orders (meaning the wife could not go along) and the ex lasted about 6 months before finding someone else. We were divorced shortly after I returned to the states. Fortunately, there were no children involved and obviously, our marriage was not as strong as I thought it was when I left. Saw it happen to a lot of other Marines but never thought it would happen to me. To be fair, most (not all) of my married friends are still married and they managed to survive the hardships.


Thing is, when you're young and "in love/lust", nobody can tell you anything. My ex was from a foreign country (Nicaragua) and all my friends told me she did not love me and all she wanted was a green card. Naturally, I didn't want to hear that and married her anyway but turns out they were right afterall. As I progressed in my career and picked up rank, I found myself saying the same thing to younger Marines. And of course, none of them listened either.

So, doesn't really matter if you support their decision or not or if they are ready or not. They are going to do what they're going to do regardless. Just hope for the best; they just may surprise you!

[Mongoose]

What needs to happen is.....mothers of America, needs to keep their mouth shut. This Marine is living his life. Not yours or your wifes. He needs your support now more than ever. Did it ever cross your mind that his families lack of support, makes things harder for him? He's grown up now. Now you'll need to do the same.

[TexasStep]

thanks for the posts guys, good to hear all sides.
not to get into all the particulars, main issue for us not supporting his marriage decision: he is tired of living in the barracks and wants to live off base (again, he is one year in). This is his main reason to get married and his "fiance" wants to help him through this "hard" time he's having.

Mongoose - may have seemed like we are babying him but I promise you we totally support him as a Marine and as a man. We attended all his graduations MCRD, MCT and his MOS School. We just want him to concentrate on his Marine life and to remember why he joined, instead of just finding a way to make things comfortable for himself.

[Old Marine]

I was an E-4 Buck Sgt. 56 years ago. I was 21 she was 17. Still married today, even if everything was not always peaches and cream. Some people are compatible and some are not. Pretty simple.

[Old Marine]

Why shouldn't he be a Marine and be as comfortable as possible.

[TexasStep]

all points taken and understood Old Marine.

[Rocky C]

Whatever makes him happy.
Life is too short.
Live and learn.

I wish our Brother and his Future Bride much happiness and may they be Blessed with many, many children....

[TexasStep]

easy on the "many, many" Rocky C, ha ha.

We get that life is too short, just wishing he would live a little and learn who he is prior to proceeding. we are not against marriage for him, just at this particular time in his life. he had goals going in and unfortunately he is wavering from them very rapidly.

[gys]

I married as a Corporal (reduced to Private, bad boy) Jan 1958. I retired as a Gysgt twenty years. Fifty five years later still married and love each other more. We have 6 children, 15 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren. I have had nothing but support the 15 years of together in the Marine Corps. Never regretted marrying at a low rank and young age,

[Mongoose]

Gys, that's what I'm talking about, brother!

[TexasStep]

Thank you gentlemen for your time and thoughts, all points well received.