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Thread: Hi everyone!
05-28-12, 10:58 PM #16
Glad you and husband kind of worked it out, as I said before at lest you can come here and vent to those who know how military life is. Oh MY 17 year old goes to MEPS tomorrow and his girl is already having problems about ...LOL... KIDS
05-29-12, 05:57 AM #17
Asking a question is not ignorance, but rather inquisitive...
06-19-12, 11:31 PM #18
Hi again...stepkid and bride were supposed to close on their house yesterday. I haven't heard anything about it other than bits of a phone conversation my husband had with stepkid on Sunday. Husband said something like 'Tomorrow's your big day', but this was followed by a pause and an 'Oh,,,well, that's cool', so I don't know whether the closing happened or not. Bride was attacked by a stray dog a couple weeks ago when she was out walking their two dogs. No collar on the stray, and it disappeared after leaving one of its teeth in her arm. Apparently nobody knew who it belonged to, so bride had to get the full round of rabies shots. I guess her arm was out of commission for awhile but is slowly healing. Stepkid is coming home for the month of July. He got a position up here to work with a recruiter which I guess will count toward his promotion to lance corporal. Bride is also coming up because her grandmother has been diagnosed with breast cancer and bride wants to visit with her. I don't know where stepkid and bride will be staying since they're not getting along with her parents and will have both dogs with them.
If they did close on the house and will have it locked up until they go back down at the end of July, they might find a moldy surprise, courtesy of the North Carolina heat and humidity. Ick. Glad it's not my house.
Of course, this means that I will have to see bride at some point during their stay--something I really don't want to do. I may find it difficult to keep my opinions to myself...any suggestions?
06-20-12, 05:49 AM #19
You'll do ok with it MSM....
IF you were one of us old
farts on here,
We'd figure you'd bring along
plenty of gasoline to toss onto
the fire once it got going....
Your StepSon probibly needs all the shoulder he can find to lean on right now...
Probibly well to expect your husband to
be a little distracted while the stepson is
on recruiters assistant....
You may not be in the *hit,
but i bettcha you'll be close
enough to smell it......
Good Luck Woman
06-20-12, 09:45 AM #20
Dear Abby seems to be alive and well.
06-20-12, 10:53 AM #21
06-20-12, 03:25 PM #22
This kid is doomed between the wife and the stepmom
06-20-12, 04:36 PM #23
06-23-12, 02:09 PM #24
I know I'm about to seem like a real jerk to some people...
I’m a long time lurker, but I just had to add my 2 cents here. My son is a PFC right now at Cherry Point. Fortunately he is a cheap skate, and he’s not married. He does how ever have a new Motorcycle and a girlfriend. (She’s also a Marine, and also a cheap stake.) Of course, I approved the purchase of his bike, because he needed to start building credit. (I also like the girlfriend, which is surpising.)
My husband, (his step dad) on the other hand, was strongly against the purchase. Not because my son isn’t an experienced rider, he is, but because as we all know a PFC is not making mad money.
Sure… But in my opinion, $160 a month isn’t going to kill my son. And it’s his business!
Sadly, for way too long my husband just didn’t want to let it go. It was like he had jumped on the complaint train and it was taking him nowhere fast.
So, I told my loving hubby… While his irritation was somewhat understandable, he was seriously ticking me off. And given the choice as to who I am going to back up on a decision, so long as it wasn’t something that would land my kid in jail or ruin his future, my child will always win. If it was a life destroying choice, I would prefer my husband to either stay out of it, or back me up without trying to add fuel to the fire. After all, everyone makes mistakes, it’s how we learn…
Please don’t get me wrong, I understand that a new spouse stepping up to the plate and mucking everything up can be frustrating. (I’m currently enjoying that experience with my daughter and her “entitled” husband.) BUT I look at it this way… It’s not like my kids have learning disabilities, and they are adults now, no matter if I like it or not. For my daughter’s situation, (a much closer comparison to what you’re dealing with,) all I can do is tell her that while I don’t agree, I’ll do my best to help her and her hubby out if they need me. Help, not save, in other words, if they make a mess and I’ll show up with a broom for each of them but I’m not cleaning… And if my hubby doesn’t like that… He can kiss my a**.
It’s all about picking your battles…
06-23-12, 03:16 PM #25
A little story about motorcycles. Many years ago I used to visit the Naval Hospital, San Diego and pay Recruits who were admitted there. I was on the ward one day a there were a great number of young men in traction on legs and arms. I asked the corpsman if these men had returned from the NAM and he laughed and said they were mostly from riding bikes. Drivers of cars do not see motorcycles and thus the rider ends up in traction. It really does not matter how good of rider he is. (Side note: I have a very good friend who was a professional AMA rider and rode everything he could get his hands on, but would never ride on the street because he said it was much too dangerous.
06-23-12, 05:32 PM #26
Understandable you like the GF; she IS a Marine afterall so what's not to like.
For a mother to approve her son buying a bike (just to build credit) is stupid and you better pray you do not regret that decision later. Like Old Marine says it doesn't make a difference how experienced you are. Bikes do not have seat belts and car drivers look right through them (because they are looking for another car and not a motorcycle). I know this from riding myself years ago when I was a young Marine who did not know any better.
For the last 15 years, I have been working in a level 1 trauma center (only one in East TN). You can believe this or not but not one person I know of who works here rides a bike; and there is a reason (we are not dumb). Me personally, I'll never get back on one because they are killing machines. One thing Old Marine said I disagree with is they end up in traction; they don't end up in traction, they end up brain dead (or worse). Almost all of their biker friends/family talk about how experienced they were and what a safe driver they were while they are making funeral arrangements. We have a biker in our unit right now who did absolutely nothing wrong; he was stopped at a stop sign and the car behind him plowed him over (prognosis is poor and even if he does live he'll be a quadraplegic). Believe me, if you could see what I've seen, you would insist your son sell that bike ASAP and never get on it again. I sincerely believe, his chances of dying on the street are greater than if he were in a combat zone in Afghanistan today (because he would have his brother Marines protecting him there but there is absolutely zero protection on a bike). You made a big error in judgement mom and your mother's instincts should've known better.
06-24-12, 10:37 AM #27
On the other hand I've been riding motorcycles since 1961, you might call me experienced. There's nothing like being on a bike to clear your head, we call it being in the wind. The companionship with other vet's is also a very large part of the experience.
I personally lose friends every year as a result of their being run over by a "cage". Maybe riding is part of the trill, the danger, but it's also part of the freedom that you can only get from being in the open air. Many of us Nam vet's ride and we do not see it as a danger, maybe we compare it to our experience in the Nam. My name should have been on the wall from 1968, but I've always been lucky that way. Or it might be from all the years as a cop going into those holdups, shootings, high speed car chases and taking out all those barricaded suspects while with the TACT squad. I'll ride my Indian till I die, so be it.
Stepmom, don't worry about your son. As soon as he goes overseas on his first deployment sounds like he'll get a dear John letter and the situation will take care of itself. I was one of the unlucky ones that did not receive such a letter, let's see, that was 4 wives ago. Just saying.
06-28-12, 05:44 PM #28
Wow! I didn't mean to highjack the thread because I'm ok with my son riding a motorcycle, and have been since he was 16 and I taught him how to ride... My husband and I have both been riding for well over 20 years. Thank God neither of us have ever had a serious accident. (He laid his down once and got a bit of road rash, but the bike suffered a lot more.) Even so, it wasn't about the bike, it was about the money... I'm not oblivious to the risks. I actually ran as a medic for most of my adult life and have seen all sorts of bad things happen to good people, a biker decapitated after he slid under a truck, a little girl who fell off her scooter and suffered a traumatic brain injury, a little boy walking out of McDonald's with his grand-mother when he was crushed to death because a new driver slammed into him after her foot slipped off the brake. I could go on and on, after all life in general is not a safe place... My son knows the risks and he knows show boating, or not paying attention will get him hurt or killed. I know it too.And if that risk is what makes his life more enjoyable, well, maybe I am a bad mother, after all on occasion I took my children to McDonald's too... My point was, as a step parent you really need to be careful and let the actual parent take the stand that they wish to take. It's not easy, but it's the only way to have a good relationship with your spouse. At least that has been my personal experience.
06-30-12, 09:16 AM #29
A comment on the motorcycle discussion--here in Michigan, a law was passed recently which allows motorcyclists to ride without wearing helmets. In my opinion, this is the ultimate foolishness, given that a bike can be much more dangerous than a car. (There has already been at least one fatality of a helmetless rider since the law passed.)
Now, on to the main topic...stepkid and bride are leaving today for their month's stay up here, along with dogs, etc. Supposedly, they will be staying with her parents. (This could get really interesting.) The closing on the house had been re-scheduled to take place this past Thursday...don't know whether it happened or not. What I do know is that the lovely tropical storm Debby was headed towards the Carolina coast and will probably dump a fair quantity of rain as she passes through. Here's the equation: Stepkid and bride close on the house, then lock it up for a month because they'll be in Michigan. Meanwhile, Debby does NC, leaves lots of moisture behind, and, coupled with the NC summer heat and humidity, turns the house into a giant Petri dish with a bumper crop of mold and mildew happily percolating along. Stepkid and bride come home to a huge smelly (and possibly dangerous) mess. The costs of owning your own home start to sink in and pretty soon there's trouble brewing in the henhouse.
My prediction: over the course of the next 1-2 years, financial issues rear their ugly heads; stepkid gets deployed; bride becomes bored, begins fooling around, and gets pregnant; stepkid comes home to the mess; foreclosure and bankruptcy (or close) follow shortly; bride leaves because the fun and money are done; and stepkid gets divorced.
I was actually having mini panic attacks over what I see for the near future, but I now realize that stepkid is going to do what he's going to do no matter what anyone says and that this sad situation will actually be one of the biggest, most important lessons of his life. I would be impeding his growth if I stepped in...so let the chips fall where they may, and let stepkid fall on his head.
I just don't know how my husband will deal with all of it...
07-02-12, 09:45 AM #30
I would encourage you to try and work through your anger issues, it seems very unhealthy for the entire family.
Hope things improve for you.
p.s. I live in Texas where it is extremely humid, houses that are vacant for a couple of weeks or months don't just "mold-over". You can at least take that off your list.
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