The M&M Challenge
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  1. #1
    firstsgtmike
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    The M&M Challenge

    The Ultimate M&M Challenge

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointer, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.

    Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 USA, along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

    There can be only one...


  2. #2
    Devil Dog For Life Platinum Member Gary's Avatar
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    Talking Top

    you got way too much time on your hands

    Sgt G.A. Blake

    Marine! the title says it all

  3. #3
    Registered User Free Member CPL-Mac's Avatar
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    Freakin outstanding!


  4. #4
    You should ask them to hire you as the Director of Quality Assurance for Mars. lol


  5. #5
    Marine Free Member Sender's Avatar
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    1st Sgt Mike,

    I noticed that you were in the Philippines, huh? I remember the good old days and what I used to get for a package of M&M's or any chocolate for that matter. Drink a Redhorse for me, 1stSgt.

    SSgt A


  6. #6
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    Thanks 1stSgt; I will no longer be able to look at another bag of M&Ms in the same light... I prefer M&Ms with peanuts; anyone checking their survival of the fittest? ...what about the special Holiday editions? ...or the...


  7. #7
    Registered User Free Member tracrat's Avatar
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    That's classic... I agree with my brother, TracGunny.. I too will see a bag of M&Ms in a new light


  8. #8
    firstsgtmike
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    I hate my job day

    When you have an "I hate my job" day try this :

    On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section.

    You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Johnson and Johnson". Be very sure you get this brand.

    When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

    Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement :

    "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested".

    Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times : "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company."

    Have a nice week and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours.


  9. #9
    Registered User Free Member Red Dragon's Avatar
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    Talking M & M Challenge vs I Hate My Day Job

    The M & M Challenge is one topic and I hate my Day Job is another topic. Wonder why both are under the same thread?

    Red Dragon aka HL


  10. #10
    Mabe the M&M's are personally tested before they are sent out too. thats why some are brown!


  11. #11
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    eww...I used to love M&M's...but no more...


  12. #12

    Red face

    What?????? Where do yu think the get the peanut M&M's from


  13. #13
    Registered User Free Member Kurt Stover's Avatar
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    I tell my newbies in their "Welcome aboard speech", ...."If I say sh1t, the only response I want out of you, is plain or peanut"


  14. #14
    Thinking back on a previous beer thread, sounds like beer and peanut M&M's have something in common after all.


  15. #15
    Registered User Free Member Doc Crow's Avatar
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    Got to Love the I hate my job post


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