Anxiety and Shipping

[ericplasencia89]

Hello Marines and others. I just want to start off by saying thanks for your service to our country.

Im going to give some backstory so you can understand my situation. About a year ago i was in the delayed entry program for the Navy. Im out of school and i havent really had much direction in life. My best friend brought me to a recruter with him and within a couple of days i was in meps getting a contract with an mos that i didnt really want. (avionics tech AIT). During meps i had had a few issues with anxiety but it was mild. I have never had much of a history with it so i just took it for some jitters. Closer to ship day i got more and more. It got to a point that i was having heavy chest pains and loss of sleep. On the day i was to ship in meps it was just horrible. So i mentioned it to the doctor when i was there. After some logistics, i didnt ship for medical reasons. I continued to have severe anxiety for a couple of months after where i would go a week on only a couple hours of sleep and bad chest pains. Ever since the military has never left my mind and im not sure what causes anxiety like that but maybe its because i hadnt gotten an mos i wanted or i hadnt given it enough thought. I cannot stop thinking about the military. I have an urge to serve. The Marines have been on my mind for a very long time. But im just not sure if anxiety like this is normal for a young person going into service. Im not even sure if i can even give it another shot. Did any of you experience this sort of anxiety when you were shipping? How do you become comfortable with trading away your life for another? I think my biggest issue was leaving my family and friends and missing out on their lives. Im sorry for rambling on. But this is a big issue for me. I want the pride Marines have. I cant stop thinking about it and that has to mean something.

[ericplasencia89]

Thank you Sir for your input. On a side note I was typing on a mobile device. Sorry for the grammatical errors. I've only been able to obtain health insurance until this past week and things have been tough. I haven't been able to really discuss this issue with a professional. I feel like they can help, but I haven't been able to speak with anyone in the Marines about the life changing experience in enlistment. I'm not comfortable with recruiters because I don't want to be pressured. What I'm interested is direction and pride. I can only learn so much from books and videos. The Marines are always on my mind. It's a move I have been contemplating for an excessive amount of time. I just fear anxiety and that sort of pain I had before. I have never felt anything like it. I want to be completely confident and healthy before I make a move. Thank you for welcoming me here Sir. I will do my best to learn what I can from this forum. Consider this my introduction I guess.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Quite frankly, and realistically, the 'Bottom Line Up Front' (BLUF) answer as I see it:

1: Jitters when embarking on a new job or enterprise are normal. What YOU experienced, however, causes me grave concern.

It sounds to me as if you have an actual disorder that will give you no end of difficulty, provided you can get to Recruit training. At this point based on your previous reaction, I would NOT recommend your enlistment into any branch. Not without seeing a professional first and getting serious help.

Now, this may seem quite harsh, but you must look at this another way...

You take a slot, go to recruit training, and get dropped for your condition when you have a melt down on training day 23 or something. That's taking a space that could be used by someone who COULD succeed.

OR, and this is a worse scenario in my mind, you make it through Recruit training and MOS school, get to the Fleet, and your first time 'under fire', you have a major/holycrap meltdown that endangers not only YOUR life, but the lives of fellow Marines.

That, simply put, scares the heck out of ME, since quite possibly, you could endanger the lives of my friends and comrades.

Seek professional assistance in this matter, seriously. The profession of arms isn't everyone's profession. It may not be yours at the moment. You may grow out of this. Or, it simply might mean that you are unable to perform the tasks needed. It's not dishonorable to have at least TRIED to do so, and be found medically unqualified.

[Zulu 36]

There isn't anything I can add to what my esteemed colleagues have stated except to agree totally.

[Phantom Blooper]

my esteemed colleagues

Damn....that's two points....

[afraziaaaa]

Hello Marines and others. I just want to start off by saying thanks for your service to our country.

Im going to give some backstory so you can understand my situation. About a year ago i was in the delayed entry program for the Navy. Im out of school and i havent really had much direction in life. My best friend brought me to a recruter with him and within a couple of days i was in meps getting a contract with an mos that i didnt really want. (avionics tech AIT). During meps i had had a few issues with anxiety but it was mild. I have never had much of a history with it so i just took it for some jitters. Closer to ship day i got more and more. It got to a point that i was having heavy chest pains and loss of sleep. On the day i was to ship in meps it was just horrible. So i mentioned it to the doctor when i was there. After some logistics, i didnt ship for medical reasons. I continued to have severe anxiety for a couple of months after where i would go a week on only a couple hours of sleep and bad chest pains. Ever since the military has never left my mind and im not sure what causes anxiety like that but maybe its because i hadnt gotten an mos i wanted or i hadnt given it enough thought. I cannot stop thinking about the military. I have an urge to serve. The Marines have been on my mind for a very long time. But im just not sure if anxiety like this is normal for a young person going into service. Im not even sure if i can even give it another shot. Did any of you experience this sort of anxiety when you were shipping? How do you become comfortable with trading away your life for another? I think my biggest issue was leaving my family and friends and missing out on their lives. Im sorry for rambling on. But this is a big issue for me. I want the pride Marines have. I cant stop thinking about it and that has to mean something.

Anxiety is normal when a person undertakes something new. The extent to which you are experiencing it is concerning. I am not a doctor, but it sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder for which you may need medical attention.

From my personal experience as a Marine, if you do have an anxiety disorder, you will most likely have a terrible time in the Marine Corps. I strongly suggest you seek medical attention and reconsider serving in the Marine Corps if this is something permanent. There is GOOD reason that anxiety issues are medically disqualifying for the Marine Corps. Best of luck.

[MOS4429]

Dave, Sgt Lep, and others, good, sound advice.

Sometimes when we read a thread/question, while reading, you develop a first impression, and before reading the responses of others, I too, developed an impression that is not much different than others. A certain amount of nervousness, jitters, butterflys is normal. This situation greater than that.

You ask in your post if any of experienced "this sort of anxiety" when shipping, and I think on the level you describe, the answer is no. The anxiety you describe, from your description of it, is consuming your every thought.

You ask, how do you become comfortable with trading away your life for another? This question can be taken a couple ways. One, just the general idea of enlisting into the military, signing a contract to give three, four, or more years of your life to your country, while others do not. I think the only way I can put this is joining the military in general is not for everybody. Many young men (boys really) feel the urge for a variety of reasons but they just cannot take that next step, and that's fine. But joining the Marine Corps specifically is only for the few. Many have no problem signing the dotted line for the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Coast Guard, but they believe they could only enlist in the Marine Corps if they were crazy. Once decided to join, it is not about why others do not, but it is about the decision that you do make and the specific reasons why you choose to do so.

The secondary way I can take your question is contemplating the idea that you could literally give your life for another by being killed. I do not know a young man who has joined the military that did not consider this possibility at one point prior to enlistment. My personal position on the subject is just as it is appointed that we were born into this world, death is an appointed time as well. I do not know when that time shall come. Whether it could have been while serving in the Marine Corps, is tomorrow, or in another ten years, that is not a decision left to me. In the meantime, we carry on and live like there is no tomorrow. For some, the fear of death is just too overwhelming and they need to be honest with themselves about it. If that fear renders them incapable for serving, they should not.

I am not a doctor, nor is anybody who has posted here, but I do sense some of your confusion as to why you experience anxiety. From my life experience, I have observed that stress and anxiety is individual. I have people I supervise who come into the office saying, "I am so stressed..." and I scratch my head and wonder why. We each have our own levels at which we feel stress and experience anxiety. For some people the slightest disruption to their daily life causes them stress, while others just go through the day rolling through the punches. We have to learn coping skills to manage - or better yet - put stress out of our mind. I worked under a MGySgt in the Marine Corps who used to always say, "So much to do about nothing," in reference to people getting stressed out, up in arms, worried about matters that were, in the grand scheme of things, not that important.

Some of the factors that you mention cause you anxiety, loss of sleep, and chest pains are: Lack of direction, dissatisfaction over MOS, fear of actually shipping out, fear of the unknown, obsession over wanting to be in the Marine Corps and fear you never will be, unfulfilled urges, overly active mind that will not rest, fear of fear.

We cannot do anything about what causes anxiety until we identify what causes it, and once identified, we have to then ask ourselves, what can I do about it. There are certain things that are "unchangeables," those things that we cannot change, and then we must learn how to deal with it. Outside stressors that are put upon us can be unchangeables. Since we cannot change those stressors, the issue then is not the stressor but how we react to it, learning to make the best of it in our life. Those things that we can change, then we should change it. You express lack of direction, that you did not have it and want it. Setting a plan of action like you have done is one good first step toward resolving it.

Dissatisfaction over MOS. If possible, change it. If not, make the best of it. There may be aspects to it you never imagined, and learning that MOS will go toward giving direction. There are things you can do to overcome this: identifying the issues that cause anxiety, then preparing to address them one at a time, increasing confidence over the issue and gaining knowledge about it in order to be prepared when confronted with it.

Stress is the biggest contributor to anxiety attack, so while we may not be able to reduce stress in our life, we can condition our minds to repel it.
I have had times where at the end of the day my mind is still spinning on the day or I am dealing with an issue in my life that has taken hold, and I cannot sleep. Some people take pills to help with this. I do a mental dump. While lying in bed, I pray and take each thought that I am dwelling on and give it to God and in the process allow Him to redirect my thoughts.

You may need to see a physician or therapist. IMO your priority right now is not joining the Navy or Marine Corps. It is resolving the issue of anxiety that is controlling you. You are trying to go to Number 2 before resolving Number 1. Forget about #2, and take care of your most pressing need first. So that's my take on it.

[DudefromDiego]

I would have to agree with my fellow Marines. Having some aprehension is normal; this is a big decision and very different line of work. Especially pre-ship jitters, as those are normal. I've never met someone who wasn't a little nervous when they got on that bus. But to cause physical pain? That is something totally else. Not saying you are any less of a person, but you should seriously consider getting professional medical advice on this matter, before you start to make decisions you may regret.

Semper Fidelis.

[Phantom Blooper]

You have got GREAT advice from what my esteemed colleagues have stated and I agree totally!

[ericplasencia89]

First off, I have to say I'm very surprised at how helpful everyone here is being. I've been around a couple of other forums and have found only hostility. Thanks to all of you for being so understanding.

On that note, I really want to seek help. I haven't been hesitant about it. I just haven't had health insurance and I'm deeply in debt with student loans. Psychiatry or any advanced care is difficult for me to pay for. I have only gotten health coverage last week or so and I cannot seek help for preexisting illness. I'm on a sort of probationary period with the insurer.

Something that really confused me about this issue is that prior to the few weeks before and after the ship date, I had never experienced the pain to anything remotely close to that degree. I haven't had that pain recur since about February. Through daily life I get short pangs of anxiety but that's normal. This degree of pain I am talking about is like nothing I have experienced before and it only occurred during the weeks surrounding the ship date.

I liked what one of you had said about "fear of fear." I'm not afraid to admit that that describes some of my stresses. I fear that pain that I had more than anything.

In the time I have had to think about it, I believe that the biggest cause of this issue was being uncomfortable with change. I had had issues when my parents decided to move us during high school. I had a tough time adjusting to the new place. I'm not afraid of performing duties. I think it's more about my normal life being disrupted. Not being able to see my close friends and family regularly.


One of the things that entices me about the military, more specifically the Marines, is that you guys seem more like a close knit community. It seems more personal than a place like the Navy. This aspect of the Marines is something I'm interested in and I think could be what I need to make a change like this.

Sorry for the essay lol. I'm really not such a downer in person.

[ericplasencia89]

Lol of course there's always hostility. I was an avid member of an auto performance forum and there's loads of people flashing colors lol. I'm just impressed at the reception of my issue and introduction here. It's nice. I will most definitely seek out help with my health. I'm not going to leave this up in the air. I want something and this is what has to be done. Its just a matter of having the resources.