Marrying for the wrong reasons?

[Lisa 23]

I realize this article is over a year old, but I thought it would be a good read for those wannabes and poolees who want to get married before/after boot camp.



Study: Bigger housing payouts encourage younger marriages — and divorces

By William H. McMichael - Staff writer
Posted : Wednesday Apr 21, 2010 14:27:26 EDT

Higher rates of pay and benefits for married troops encourages service members to wed at a younger age than the general public — and lead to a “significantly greater” divorce rate for those who have served two years or more, two researchers conclude.

In a new study, economist Paul Hogan and social psychologist Rita Seifert suggest that while the military needs to be supportive of family life — more than half of all active-duty troops are married — the Pentagon should not, in essence, encourage single troops to marry.

The authors focused on 23- to 25-year-olds, reasoning that these service members were old enough to have graduated from high school or college, marry, and subsequently divorce.

Previous research, the authors say, “has shown that retention of married service members is influenced by family support and satisfaction with the military.”

“However, there does not seem to be evidence that married service members are more productive or of greater value to the military than single service members. The military does not need to encourage single service members to marry. Other employer markets do not differentiate compensation and benefits by marital status.”

Current policies may contribute to a divorce rate among service members that has been on the rise over the past decade.

Hogan and Seifert say a revised compensation policy would phase in family benefits, such as better housing, so that married troops receive more benefits the longer they serve.

Then, compensation and benefits could move toward a system that rewards performance rather than dependency status, they say. In this way, they argue, the military would both support families and encourage the best performers to stay in the service.

The authors’ conclusion drew a skeptical response from one military personnel expert.

“There’s an infinite number of reasons people get married and an infinite number of factors that differentiate military people’s lives and circumstances from those of civilians. Attributing causality to any specific one is a very long stretch,” said retired Col. Steve Strobridge of the Military Officers Association of America, who once headed the Air Force’s compensation branch.

For instance, Strobridge said, more mature people may be drawn to the military, and more mature people might marry earlier. The stress and responsibilities that military life places on relatively younger people might accelerate the maturation process. Or the stresses themselves could drive some to seek stability in their private lives through marriage, he said.

The authors found that those 23- to 25-year-olds who have served at least two years on active duty are significantly more likely to be married, suggesting, based on their analysis of U.S. Census data, that the odds of ever having been married are three times greater if one had served on active duty compared with a similar civilian who had not served.

The same percentage held true for those who were high school graduates and nearly so for those with bachelor’s degrees, most of whom are officers.

The authors’ analysis of divorce probability suggests that, among those who have married, service members who have had at least two years of active duty are more likely to get divorced.

That finding, they said, “is consistent with the hypothesis that the compensation benefits in the military provide an incentive for earlier marriage than might otherwise be the case and, because of this, that the marriage might be more vulnerable to dissolution.”

About the research

Hogan and Seifert, of The Lewin Group — a Falls Church, Va., health care policy research center — conducted their research in part with funding from the Pentagon’s 10th Quadrennial Review of Military Compensation and based it in large part on analyses of the Census Bureau’s 2005 American Community Survey. The findings were published in the April issue of Armed Forces & Society, a peer-reviewed quarterly journal focused on sociological aspects of the military.

http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/bene...efits_042110w/

[Marinemom32]

Very good article!! My son said they took so many classes a PI on why not to get Married, after boot, and said they were advised two wait two years. He said three guys from platoon were getting married on boot, and he coudln't beleive it after all the classes they took...but he said he can understand it, they get really lonely, and when you get married, he said, it is kind of like bringing a little bit of home with you. he is 18, and I don't see him getting married for a while....at least he beter not!!

[jclarke]

I have a nephew who was in the Navy. His job had something to do with the computer systems on the Frigate he was assigned to.

Well, as smart as he is, when I'd heard what he'd done, I couldn't believe it! He'd posted in Craig's List for a female to marry, but to only increase his pay! He told me "lot's" of military personnel did that! Either or, he got caught! Captain's Mast, the whole 9-yard's! And now, he's listed so that he cannot even make an attempt to join another branch.

And what's he doing now? Operating a board game/card game thing in Phoenix! Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and crud like that!

At least our's made a decision to not marry period. He says leaving us to worry is enough, especially if he is deployed far away. That and our health is not the best, so he tries to keep us in another "pocket" of his mind so he can do what he needs to do!

[njkimmie]

When I was in the Navy, I married a Marine 3 days before he left for a 6 month deployment. About a month after he returned, I got pregnant and was discharged, which was my choice but also my biggest regret. That marriage lasted about a year.

5 years later, I meet another Marine (don't judge me, I was born and raised in Oceanside ha ha) who convinces me to get married confidentially so he could get extra money to help pay for our "real" wedding. Needless to say, that wedding never happened and we divorced a few years later.

I now have a son who is a poolee and his girlfriend today tells me she is going to give my son an ultimatum that she wants to be engaged before he leaves for boot camp in June because she "is not waiting around for him for nothing". My son obviously knows my history and the odds against marrying at such a young age while in the military, I just hope that is enough to keep him from rushing into things because of loneliness and/or pressure from the girlfriend who is far from Gumby! Time will tell.

[Tennessee Top]

Waiting till you're older/have more rank may-or-may-not increase the odds of a marriage working out...I don't know. In my case, I was a Sergeant on my second enlistment when I got married. That didn't prevent my ex from hooking up with Jody while I was away on my first 12 month unaccompanied tour to Okinawa. She filed for divorce while I was still there and my papers were served shortly after I came back home. Occupational hazard...and her loss!

[YLDNDN6]

I married while in Pensacola for Intel school. We had a great marriage throughout active duty (she was also a MArine) but just couldn't seem to keep it together on the outside. Probably almost completely my fault, as it turns out (yes, I am able to admit that). At the time we married, it was for love and really nothing more. Sure the extra money was nice, but it didn't really amount to much above paying rent on the economy and buying some groceries. Had it been different...had I done my hitch and met her on the outside, I probably wouldn't have screwed it up like I did. Just a dumb kid, I guess. If I had it all to do over again, no way would I get married just to leave the woman I love at home for extended periods. And no way would I do it just for a few extra bucks...that's just stupid.

[jclarke]

When I was in the Navy, I married a Marine 3 days before he left for a 6 month deployment. About a month after he returned, I got pregnant and was discharged, which was my choice but also my biggest regret. That marriage lasted about a year.

5 years later, I meet another Marine (don't judge me, I was born and raised in Oceanside ha ha) who convinces me to get married confidentially so he could get extra money to help pay for our "real" wedding. Needless to say, that wedding never happened and we divorced a few years later.

I now have a son who is a poolee and his girlfriend today tells me she is going to give my son an ultimatum that she wants to be engaged before he leaves for boot camp in June because she "is not waiting around for him for nothing". My son obviously knows my history and the odds against marrying at such a young age while in the military, I just hope that is enough to keep him from rushing into things because of loneliness and/or pressure from the girlfriend who is far from Gumby! Time will tell.

An "Ultimatum"? She gives him one like that now, wonder what other ultimatum's she'll be giving in the future? "Not waiting around for him for nothing?" Obviously she's clueless if she thinks what he's doing is "nothing". And I see an insinuation that she considers what he's wanting to do as "nothing". And long distance engagement's are kind of uncertain, as are long distance relationship's. One can write/say one thing, when something totally different is actually going on!

If it were me, I'd find some cover, and wait for someone who believes she'd be waiting for "something", and not "nothing".

[Zulu 36]

(Snip)

I now have a son who is a poolee and his girlfriend today tells me she is going to give my son an ultimatum that she wants to be engaged before he leaves for boot camp in June because she "is not waiting around for him for nothing". My son obviously knows my history and the odds against marrying at such a young age while in the military, I just hope that is enough to keep him from rushing into things because of loneliness and/or pressure from the girlfriend who is far from Gumby! Time will tell.

Sounds like it's time for your son to ultimatum her ass out of the door.

I don't really understand the "loneliness" aspect of the rush to marriage as a Marine. One of the reasons I enlisted was for the adventure of the experience and a wife was not conducive to that lifestyle. Girlfriends (American and Asian) were more than satisfactory (not hookers). No true love at the time? Read, travel, explore.

I was 27, an E-6 in the Air Guard, and a civilian police officer before I got married. Almost made it to 28-years before the divorce, so even marriage later in life is no guarantee.

[SGT7477]

Waiting till you're older/have more rank may-or-may-not increase the odds of a marriage working out...I don't know. In my case, I was a Sergeant on my second enlistment when I got married. That didn't prevent my ex from hooking up with Jody while I was away on my first 12 month unaccompanied tour to Okinawa. She filed for divorce while I was still there and my papers were served shortly after I came back home. Occupational hazard...and her loss!

That damn Jody will always be busy,Semper Fidelis.

[Marinemom32]

Ultimatium's are never a good idea. When my son was in DEP his girlfriend at the time didn't want him to join, because she would "miss" him. He always asked what I thought. I told him if she really loves you she would be supporting your decision and your dream to become a Marine, not giving you ultimatiums that if you join, I will break up with you.....so he broke up with her, I was soooo happy, and he was too, he didn't want to have a GF during boot. And now course, she is regretting her decision, and he is having a great time GF free to do what he pleases, but he said he does get a little lonely

[Phantom Blooper]

"Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for." - Mae West

[AKA HITMAN]

I called my marriage off the day after I graduated boot. Halfway thru boot she sends the fancy invitations and a picture of her and my little brother smoking weed. Needless to say, It didn't make a good impression with a couple of the Drill Instructors. Good thing, she was pregnant by another and didn't take well to me calling it a day as she did a drive-by and shot out the windows in our house while Mom was cooking. Thats the only time I ever punched out a broad was that day when she showed up later at the door with a gun. Introduced her to a fist sandwhich thru the screen door.

[Marinemom32]

I called my marriage off the day after I graduated boot. Halfway thru boot she sends the fancy invitations and a picture of her and my little brother smoking weed. Needless to say, It didn't make a good impression with a couple of the Drill Instructors. Good thing, she was pregnant by another and didn't take well to me calling it a day as she did a drive-by and shot out the windows in our house while Mom was cooking. Thats the only time I ever punched out a broad was that day when she showed up later at the door with a gun. Introduced her to a fist sandwhich thru the screen door.

holy Crap!! She sounds like a nut!! Why did she send a picture of her and your little brother smoking weed with the invitations? Good thing you didn't marry her!!

[AKA HITMAN]

holy Crap!! She sounds like a nut!! Why did she send a picture of her and your little brother smoking weed with the invitations? Good thing you didn't marry her!!

She was.. I was thinking with the wrong brain that year (76). Guess she thought I'd get a jolly out of it. I was not amused, especially after the nice workout the DI's let me participate in.

[Marinemom32]

haha I guess we all do that one time in our lives....think with the wrong side of our brains. I am sure you got a very good workout from the DI's. But at least you didn't follow through wit the marriage!