A boot getting married with a prenup?

[rockypatel14]

Good Morning Marines,

I know there are plenty of threads on this site about young boots getting married to their high school sweet hearts and how its actually a terrible idea. I leave for recruit training in 25 days and I would like to marry the girl I've been dating for over 3 years. I would wait obviously until after MOS school to see if we can both handle the distance. Would it really be that bad of an idea to marry my girl and get a prenuptial agreement so we could both protect our individual assets? I'm not talking about a contract marriage for BAH either. Would a young marine and his wife, if they had problems and divorced really be in that bad of a situation if no children were involved? Any thoughts, opinions or advice is appreciated.

Thank you Marines.

[rockypatel14]

Forgot to say, I know my most important goal is to make it through recruit training first. This is just a hypothetical question if I graduate on time and progress through my follow on schools.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

A pre-nup is fine if you have large amounts of assets you are worried about for some reason. Otherwise, just paying lawyers money for something most young folks don't need.....realistically, what do you have? A couple year old car and the stuff in your childhood bedroom? Not much for her to get.

Now, on the other hand, if you have trust funds, property, or a nice bank account, then it may not be a bad idea.

[MOS4429]

Good Morning Marines,

I know there are plenty of threads on this site about young boots getting married to their high school sweet hearts and how its actually a terrible idea. I leave for recruit training in 25 days and I would like to marry the girl I've been dating for over 3 years. I would wait obviously until after MOS school to see if we can both handle the distance. Would it really be that bad of an idea to marry my girl and get a prenuptial agreement so we could both protect our individual assets? I'm not talking about a contract marriage for BAH either. Would a young marine and his wife, if they had problems and divorced really be in that bad of a situation if no children were involved? Any thoughts, opinions or advice is appreciated.

Thank you Marines.

Andrew, read your post yourself. Reading through the lines, you want to rush into a marriage. You are going to boot camp in 25 days so you will be distracted by a new wife. You are thinking about a prenuptial, because well...if you have problems you can divorce, which tells me you are not too sure at the outset if it will work.

Setting aside your religious views on that, if you want to marry her before you leave because you are afraid she might not be there afterwards, bad plan. If she loves you enough to get married, shouldn't she be able to wait until a more opportune time?

Yes, those in Hollywood get married all the time with prenuptials, because they pretty much figure no marriage in Hollywood lasts. That's a sad commentary on marriage and not the way it is supposed to work. If I was going to get married and made provisions for divorce, I would think that I am not ready or she's really not the one.

You haven't states the reasons why you feel you need to rush into this, but one can probably assume why.

My recommendation would be this: Focus on getting ready for boot camp. Don't get married. Go to boot camp without that distraction. If you two are meant to be married, she will be there after boot camp. If she can't wait, then it wasn't meant to be and you are better off. The military comes with separation, and she will need to be able to handle more than 13 weeks. Down the road if you are deployed and it ends in divorce, that is always more costly and difficult than it sounds.

[Apache]

If you need a Pre nup----
That's kinda like insurance because you have doubts

When the time is right without any disclaimers you will know it

STANDBY ----

[rockypatel14]

Thank you for the replies. I was not thinking about marrying her before boot camp though. I was more thinking along the lines of after about a year. We both don't have much money, so I guess I misunderstood the prenup. If we can't make it through recruit training and my mos school I have no intention to marry her, that would be foolish. I don't want to throw a ring around her finger to tie her down so she's "off limits". I am not religious, but I still believe in the sanctity of marriage and I am not one to cut and run when things get bad. My parents had a nasty divorce and it was all about the money. So that kind of ruined my idea that people remain civil while enduring a divorce. I don't really have ulterior motives marrying this girl, I just want to be able to live with her.

I appreciate the insight Marines.

[Phantom Blooper]

All good advice above.....

I don't put much faith in Wikipedia but this gives a little insight into a prenup agreement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement

In my opinion in over thirty years of marriage unless children are involved is the marriage vows.

Divorces can be nasty.....try not to think about your parents relationship and divorce.....when contemplating your own marriage.

Do not set yourself and her up for failure based on someone else's experiences.

Good luck to you both.....be like the little choo choo train that could....and getting plenty of caboose.

[fl1946]

Great advice presented here. My comment: Focus, focus, focus.

[MOS4429]

Thank you for the replies. I was not thinking about marrying her before boot camp though. I was more thinking along the lines of after about a year. We both don't have much money, so I guess I misunderstood the prenup. If we can't make it through recruit training and my mos school I have no intention to marry her, that would be foolish. I don't want to throw a ring around her finger to tie her down so she's "off limits". I am not religious, but I still believe in the sanctity of marriage and I am not one to cut and run when things get bad. My parents had a nasty divorce and it was all about the money. So that kind of ruined my idea that people remain civil while enduring a divorce. I don't really have ulterior motives marrying this girl, I just want to be able to live with her.

I appreciate the insight Marines.

"I leave for recruit training in 25 days and I would like to marry the girl I've been dating for over 3 years."

You see why me might have kinda thought it WAS your intention to marry before boot camp?

[DJ860420]

Read the next line. He clearly put that he was going to wait until after MOS school.

[Nedward]

Regardless, the stress of your first term might prove overwhelming and even ruin your marriage.

I think the best advice I received was: "If shes there after your first deployment, then you can begin to pursue marriage".

[LonewolfUSMC]

I may not be the best one to answer this because I was married 3 times while I was in, none of them worked. I had to do a lot of growing. I don't know how old you are, but you would be amazed how much growing you have to do. Depending on your age, Hell your shoe size may not be done yet. Plus I found myself haveing to choose my wife over promising career moves. This happened to me more than once. The Corps is not against families and you will not here me talk down on the Corps. Just remember what your getting into I'm old enough now to be a realist. Your not talking about a job at the doughnut factory. Your girl may be great but the reality is there is nothing tougher than a Marine except maybe a Marine WIfe. Your going to be a Marine don't forget the many burdens of a Marine wife.

SemperFI,
LonewolfUSMC

[SGT7477]

Good Morning Marines,

I know there are plenty of threads on this site about young boots getting married to their high school sweet hearts and how its actually a terrible idea. I leave for recruit training in 25 days and I would like to marry the girl I've been dating for over 3 years. I would wait obviously until after MOS school to see if we can both handle the distance. Would it really be that bad of an idea to marry my girl and get a prenuptial agreement so we could both protect our individual assets? I'm not talking about a contract marriage for BAH either. Would a young marine and his wife, if they had problems and divorced really be in that bad of a situation if no children were involved? Any thoughts, opinions or advice is appreciated.

Thank you Marines.

Get some rank first, no need to worry Jody will always be there, Good Luck, Semper Fidelis.

[fl1946]

Rocky -- some very good advice presented here, especially the last post from Sgt7477. Forget about prenup unless you are a DuPont, Heinz or Rockefeller. It might be more beneficial for your spouse if she has significant assets! Pardon for straying...I don't care how you cut the deck, getting married -- and surviving on a Pfc pay will be a horrendous experience for the both of you and could become a "deal breaker" in marriage. You may not feel the hardship but your little bride will. What is SHE going to do while you are trooping and stomping in the hills of CampPen? Wait for you in your tiny one bedroom apartment in nearby Oceanside? Shine your boots? Window shop at WalMart (certainly not at Nordstrum)? You can only eat pizzas so many times per week or spend weekends watching Netflix (if you can afford it). STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF. If you really want an insight to spouse hardships, call the Navy/Marine Corps League, the chaplain. Lastly, go onto the newspaper website: www.ocregister.com and read today's excellent article about spousal hardships. This is an account of a SNCO, not even a boot. Take heed.

Semper Fi

[rockypatel14]

Marines,

I appreciate all the sound advice. I will definitely heed all the great advice given and focus on my career while trying to keep up the relationship. If we are meant to be together we will get through the hardships and one day we can get married. If not, then at least I still have the Marine Corps. Thank you very much!

-Andrew