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  1. #1

    A Terrified Mom

    Hello Marines and Marine Families,
    I am simply a mother who loves my son with all my heart, and I cant imagine how I'm going to get through all the pain when my son leaves my home to go join the Marines. He means everything to me and his father. I was very worried when he said he was going to join the Marines, but now he said he wants do infantry. Myself, family, and other friends are telling him not to do infantry and there are other options, but still he wants to do it. I would feel very proud if I was 100% sure that would come back home safe, but nobody knows what is going to happen and I don't want someone knocking on my my door telling me my son wont come home anymore. I think infantry is very dangerous because I hear so many cases of Marines that passed away and they are on the front lines. My son is going to be 18 in about 2 months and that's when he will enlist.
    No matter how many times his father and I tell him not to do infantry do something else he doesn't listen and he wants to do it anyway.

    Please I really need advice from parents that are going through the same or any others who can put my mind at ease.

    Sincerely, Liz


  2. #2
    Liz,

    Your son has a long road ahead of him before the word "deployment" will even be mentioned. Take ease at knowing that as soon as he arrives at recruit training that he will be in the best of hands.

    No one can promise a safe enlistment, there are numerous hazards in all aspects of tasks just like any other job in the civilian world. However, the Marine Corps has a history and solid record for some of the highest safety standards amongst the Department of Defense. From the time that your son wakes up to the time he goes to sleep and all through the night, safety is paramount no matter what.

    Your son will have direct supervision at all times, by his peers and his leadership. Marines look after eachother. As time goes on, your son will also move up to leadership positions and before you know it he will be the one watching after the next generation of young Marines coming into the fleet.


  3. #3
    First of all, infantry contracts are extremely difficult to obtain these days. So, don't put the cart before the horse. Just because he wants to be in the infantry does not mean he'll get an infantry contract.

    I would imagine all the parents of infantry Marines share your concerns. Nobody wants to see their child go in harms way. None of the parents of Marines who made the ultimate sacrafice ever wanted to see a Chaplain at their front door. We Marines are a warrior class of society. Fact is, fighting wars is what we exist for and there are numerous jobs that are combat-related besides just infantry (tanks, combat engineers, artillary, etc.). Your son has decided he wants to be at the tip of the spear (as so many others have). At the same time you love and worry about him, you should also respect and support his decisions which would make his life a lot easier instead of more complicated (easier said than done I know). Our nation needs young people like your son...where would we be today without those young men before him who stood up and said "send me". You should be extremely proud your son has the intestinal fortitude to want to be on the front lines; don't demean his character by insisting he do something "less dangerous". Of course you can voice your concerns but stand behind his convictions and decisions; he will appreciate it I can assure you.

    It's a fact of life; kids grow up, leave the nest, become adults, and make their own decisions. All of this is so much easier when you have the love and support of your family. Earning the title and being a successful Marine is tough enough; don't make it even tougher on your son by not supporting him. Question for you is do you want to make it more difficult or easier for him?


  4. #4
    I would also suggest you check out the following website. There you can connect with other parents who have experienced the same concerns you have as well as those who are at the same point you are now. It will take you a little time to negotiate the site initially but the moderators are very helpful so just ask any questions and they will get back to you. That site's purpose is to support our parents/families:

    marinefamilynetwork.com


  5. #5
    DONT WORRY LIZ THERE ARE GREAT CORPMEN OUT THERE AND LIKE TOP SAID THEY ARE cutting down on infantry plus he will be a man so dont worry and take care.


    STEPHEN DOC HANSEN HM3 fmf


  6. #6
    Liz - I understand your concerns and fears, as I have a son getting ready to head off to Officer Candidates School with dreams of becoming a Marine infantry officer (just like his dad was). Letting our kids go (whether into the military or just into "life" on their own) is extremely difficult, especially if he is the only one. After having spent 20 years in the infantry (and having a nephew in the infantry with the Army's 101st Airborne), let me offer a few observations that may help:

    1. If your son does end up in the infantry, there are other specialities that he can be assigned other than "rifleman". He could be assigned as a machinegunner or mortarman, or as an anti-tank assaultman (rocket launcher).

    2. Marine infantry training is tough and unforgiving - the result is that he'll be good. He'll have very strong skills and will learn (in training) to rely on his fellow Marines and to be reliable. Most importantly, he'll learn not to believe a lot of the myths of "invincibility" that are floating around out there. Those stories (myths) are there, and yes, we tend to propagate them - because it causes the enemy to respect us, and perhaps to fear us.

    3. Yes, these men (and women) are in a dangerous business - but they are trained and supported. Random accidents and acts of fate can (and do) happen, both in training and in combat. There isn't much that can be done about that. More young men (aged 25 and under) are killed in car accidents every day in the U.S. than are killed in Afghanistan and Iraq combined.

    4. There are great challenges and burdens associated with being in the infantry, but there are great rewards too. He will form friendships that will last a lifetime, and he will learn more about himself than he ever would in any other walk of life.

    Just from my personal experience, I have found that of the Marine I personally served with, I lost more friends who were not in infantry MOSs than who were. Each loss is a tragedy, no doubt - and each life is mourned - but not being in the infantry (or not being in the military for that matter) is no guarantee of any kind of increased safety.

    I will not presume to know your personal faith, but for me - and for many that I know - if the Creator is going to call your name, He could just as easily call it on a trip to Starbucks as He could call it in combat. While some may see that approach as overly fatalistic (and I don't condone taking excessive risks) I take it as a constant reminder that ultimately "we" are not in control.

    Your son is drawn to be part of something larger than himself - to put others before himself - and he'll find it not only to be a challenge and a source of pride, he'll find it very humbling - yet very rewarding.

    I know it's not easy - but life in the infantry (and life in the Marines, for that matter) is not as Hollywood portrays it. He'll be well taken care of.


  7. #7
    Liz I too wanted Infantry my Recuriter had me go in with an open contract I ended up in Supply, it is what the Marines needed at the time so they said you are Supply. So if the Marines do not need him as Infantry they will put him where they want him. But either way he will be in good hands and will how to be the best he can be in any job the Marines give him.


  8. #8
    FoxtrotOscar
    Guest Free Member
    Just my opinion from being a Grunt for over 20+ years...

    But Tennessee Top and 03Mike did an excellent job of describing the life of an 03... Not all encompassing in detail but a great overview..

    It's all part of the growing up phase..

    Kid's will grow up faster in the Marines than anywhere else on earth...



  9. #9
    Liz,

    I know exactly where your at, my wife and I were in your shoes just about 18 months ago as we wrestled with our sons decision. The good thing for parents of recruits and poolies these days, is that there is an impressive support community to be found online.

    As Tenessee Top said, don't put the cart before the horse. I know it's difficult, because we as parents always look a year or 2 or 5 down the road for our children, but this one piece of advice will save YOU alot of anxiety so you are able to be more supportive of your sons decision.

    As 03Mike said, he will be well-trained. But by the time he enters the fleet, so will you. Bootcamp doesn't just train recruits, it trains Marine Parents too and is one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Plus, it one of safest places in earth for a young man with the world available to them.


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizbeth View Post
    Hello Marines and Marine Families,
    I am simply a mother who loves my son with all my heart, and I cant imagine how I'm going to get through all the pain when my son leaves my home to go join the Marines. He means everything to me and his father. I was very worried when he said he was going to join the Marines, but now he said he wants do infantry. Myself, family, and other friends are telling him not to do infantry and there are other options, but still he wants to do it. I would feel very proud if I was 100% sure that would come back home safe, but nobody knows what is going to happen and I don't want someone knocking on my my door telling me my son wont come home anymore. I think infantry is very dangerous because I hear so many cases of Marines that passed away and they are on the front lines. My son is going to be 18 in about 2 months and that's when he will enlist.
    No matter how many times his father and I tell him not to do infantry do something else he doesn't listen and he wants to do it anyway.

    Please I really need advice from parents that are going through the same or any others who can put my mind at ease.

    Sincerely, Liz

    I too understand the emotions you are going through. I'm the dad of a band new 2nd LT that is currently in the process of going through TBS in Quantico. Being a dad was the best job I ever had for 18 years, the day we dropped her off at the Academy was the best and worst day of my life. Enormous pride in where she was going, but extreme sadness for the family life that would never be the same again.

    The day your son heads off to boot camp will be like that too, lots of pride but a ton of sadness because your lives will never be the same. It' just something that all military parents go through. We did and so will you and your husband. It's not fun but you will move on and start planning for the next time you see him. That will be an awesome day.

    As to the dangers of being a Marine....It's something we are coming to grips with but ultimately it comes down to two things, simple faith that all will be OK and the knowledge that the decision to join was not ours to make but hers.

    Got a call from my daughter last Friday. She had just completed a FEX and her company took their CFA that day in 105 degree temps. Asked her how she was doing, "Dad I'm exhausted and every part of my body hurts. But I am happier than ever and this is where I'm meant to be. Life is good!"
    Someday you too will get a call like that and it just helps put in perspective that your son is where he was meant to be. It's now our job, as parents, to be as supportive as we can in their new life.

    Best of Luck to you!


  11. #11
    OUTstanding advice here Ma'am.....take it to heart


  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Sgt Leprechaun View Post
    OUTstanding advice here Ma'am.....take it to heart
    Liz,
    I understand your emotions - My son graduated Parris Island July 15th 2011 He heads to SOI West August 8th. He choose the Marines Corps to get the best possible training there is, He choose infantry and a 0321 contract because he wants to be the "Tip of the Spear". My son has matured and become more focused in the last 6 months then I could have ever imagined. Do I worry??? Hell yes, but at the same time I deeply respect his decision and support it with all my heart. We cannot predict the future, we can only live in the present. I know when he is finally at a permanent Duty station and Deployed,He will have received the BEST TRAINING in the US Military, He will surrounded by Brothers in Arms who made the same choices he did, and he will be Traveling a road of HIS own choice and Proud to be a Marine.

    Tennessee Top- said it well with the following statement

    "It's a fact of life; kids grow up, leave the nest, become adults, and make their own decisions. All of this is so much easier when you have the love and support of your family. Earning the title and being a successful Marine is tough enough; don't make it even tougher on your son by not supporting him. Question for you is do you want to make it more difficult or easier for him? "

    Best of luck to your son.


  13. #13
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    Lizbeth,
    First of all, hello and welcome to the "You are not alone club". Now, hearing this news doesn't make it much easier for you I know but, if you get a chance and you know which MCRD he will be going to, look up the appropriate website and somewhere in that website you should find a Training Matrix (a training schedule). If you can, make a copy of it and keep track of what your son and his fellow recruits will be doing. Sounds simple but the chart will help you get through some of the anxiety you are now feeling. Consider it a learning tool. When you write your son be supportive, positive and brief. I sent my son one letter a week hopefully allowing him to get through his training without too much of a distraction from me. LOL.
    Lizbeth, I know that you will be fine. Take one step at a time, just as your son will.
    Adios.
    Gary


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vandrel View Post
    Liz,

    Your son has a long road ahead of him before the word "deployment" will even be mentioned. Take ease at knowing that as soon as he arrives at recruit training that he will be in the best of hands.

    No one can promise a safe enlistment, there are numerous hazards in all aspects of tasks just like any other job in the civilian world. However, the Marine Corps has a history and solid record for some of the highest safety standards amongst the Department of Defense. From the time that your son wakes up to the time he goes to sleep and all through the night, safety is paramount no matter what.

    Your son will have direct supervision at all times, by his peers and his leadership. Marines look after eachother. As time goes on, your son will also move up to leadership positions and before you know it he will be the one watching after the next generation of young Marines coming into the fleet.

    Yep +1 on this post.


  15. #15
    First of all thank you very much to everyone who responded to my question and helped me to worry less. I appreciate all of your advice's and I promise myself I will do the best to give my son the support he needs. I know it is not going to be easy, but I just pray to god to give me the strength I will need when I don't see my son everyday telling me "mom I love you, whats for dinner?". I'm sorry if I sound too dramatic but regularly moms are like that actually all parents in general, Loving our children to death. My Husband and I will do our best to understand and support John in his decision, even if my heart is in pieces. Once again thank you to everyone.
    Sincerely
    Liz


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