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Thread: Really awkward moment
07-06-11, 02:32 PM #1
Really awkward moment
So the other day, my mom calls me into the living room. I waltz on over and find her sitting on the couch with the laptop. She says look at this. She shows me the "Faces of the Fallen" webpage. She told me "You're not going to Afghanistan are you?" and I said "I can't guarantee it. I'll go where they want me to go, but they're starting to take out troops so who knows?". Then she had this look on her face I can't really describe. She said "because I don't want you dying on me okay? You're my only son." I said "Don't worry I won't" in an attempt to ease the mood. Didn't work. She responds with "And I'm sure these kids said the same thing. Look at him. He was 19 years old. Had his whole life ahead of him. And now he is dead. And for what?" I didn't really know how to respond. "You have your whole life ahead of you, are you sure you want to do this? Because, they don't fight like we do over there. You could be driving on the road and the next second your dead. Did you even think of these risks when you signed up? Because I don't think you did." "It is what it is mom, I can't make any promises." And like that she got up and walked to her room and closed the door. Has anyone else had an experience like this?
07-06-11, 05:12 PM #2
I did when my grandmother first met my recruiter the first the she said to him was "Why ya'll tryin to send my grandson to war?". At that point i walked out the room.
07-06-11, 05:52 PM #3
Not with my mother, no. However, my grandfather was shot in the head on Saipan beach. He survived, and lived to in to his 80's. My grandmother is none too happy about my enlistment.
I have no illusions about death being an honorable act. It's never a matter of pleasantry. Nevertheless, I'm going to meet my maker some day. Everyone does. Odds are it won't be in the Corps for me, as I'll be but a lowly Admin Marine (assuming I earn the title). Nevertheless, I sat out on gorgeous Lake LBJ this weekend and anchored the boat right underneath the fireworks display. How many people in this world get the luxury, or the freedom, to enjoy life the way I've been able to? Didn't those luxuries come at some cost? It's time for me to give back, even if my contribution is but a minor one. If I do end up paying the ultimate sacrifice for my country, I'll still be doing something that every other human in history has done or will do - die. At least it'll be for the nobler cause.
07-06-11, 06:26 PM #4
Dead is dead holmes, everyone dies. Die doing what you love.
07-06-11, 07:45 PM #5
I am trying to get DD would i feel like a lowly Intel Analyst what have you? No. If I was going to be in food service would I feel like a lowly cook? No I'd feel like a god-damn Marine. I'd be the best cook you'd ever meet, because it is my job and it is essential to everyone who needs to do their job.
Now as I step off my soapbox, I read in the OP
Am I asking you that question in an attempt to change your decision? Hells no Im all for your decision I made almost the same decision but Id be doing more a behind the scenes though Im sure DD does have a chance to get stuck in an Infantry unit. If you want to go git you some youve already made your decision and there in your mind my mind each and every poolees mind that there is no turning back.
Also I had a relatively the same conversation with my mother about the topic they just assumed I was going over there to be cannon fodder and get shot in the face as soon as I got off the plane and im friggin 27. They are parents it is their job to worry about you and make sure your future last longer than theirs. I am sure it is no great honor for a mother or father to have out lived their childrens lives.
Obviously everyones life must come to an end just like everything else there is and will be an end its just some peoples may come sooner than others.
In my opinion I think she is afraid for you as the danger is real and the possibility of death is real, assuming you are going 03xx. Remember statistics mean nothing for all those that have fallen the possibility was 100%. My suggestion is sit her down and talk to her about it even keeled and just let her know you have thought about it, have a serious discussion about it.
She is going to be fearful and skeptical about what you are speaking about, maybe she watches the news too much it is always doom and gloom on the news. Try to picture your situation from her perspective sure you may think youd tell yourself to go out and get some, but would you really? Think about it, a person you created that you poured your heart and soul into and how ever many nights staying up to make sure you were alright and doctor visits and how ever long youve been living there just to have you off to war and end up shipping home in a bag? Not exactly a dream a mother wants to have. my mother went through this with me and my younger brother.
Dont let the conversation get out of hand, if you have to make a list of pros and cons about the Marines and your enlistment my recruiter had me do this when I first considered enlisting. dont lose control of the conversation dont manipulate the converation but try to exercise diplomacy have a real discussion about it, if you didnt have a conversation with her about it it was bound to happen sometimes it takes a bit for reality to set in that this is your decision and it is happening wether some people like it or not.
totally a long response and prolly reads very illogically. but that is my .02
07-06-11, 07:51 PM #6
07-06-11, 08:39 PM #7
My uncle was in Afghanistan for a year he is in intelligence and was able to send home weekly news letters the same week I told my parents I wanted to join his office got hit directly by a mortar round and killed 3 guys. he was working out at the time and left his office 5 minutes before it got hit and for the next month almost every email we got had horrible news so every time one of those came in I had to have a long talk with my mom.
07-06-11, 08:42 PM #8
Munky when his mom said "they dont fight like we do over there" i believe she meant al-qaeda, the terrorists andwhat have you, not necessarily the other branches of our military considering the example she used (ied's).
also, just a tip for having conversations about death w/ parents, using the phrase "it is what it is" is a definite no no haha.
as for my own experiences, i haven't had a conversation particularly like this, but what i did have was my dad telling me i thought i "was gonna be like ****in rambo" and that i was wasting my life. now THATS a conversation that requires the phrase "it is what it is" lmao
07-06-11, 09:02 PM #9
Remember, YOU are the one who chose to go Admin. If you wanted to see combat, then you should've signed up for the 03 field. If you didn't want to see combat, then deal with what you chose as your MOS and don't go knocking it down.
EVERY MOS in the Marine Corps is important whether you realize that or not.
07-06-11, 09:14 PM #10
P.S Didn't think this thread would get this many responses, so thank you all.
07-06-11, 09:53 PM #11
Wow! A lot of people here are sure worked up over a comment that was intended to be light-hearted and insignificant when compared to the nature of this thread. I don't see how anyone, when referenced against the context of the rest of my post, could think I'm trying to offer an insignificant contribution.
Anyways... Carry on!
07-06-11, 10:19 PM #12
07-06-11, 10:34 PM #13
I tend to avoid the "I could die driving to school/work/get hit by a bus on a city steet" line.
You're probably right, you could. But in Afghanistan there are thousands of people who want to fillet you alive because of the uniform you wear. It's a little bit different. I don't live in an abandoned school in the middle of Helmand province, I can drive the same way twice without worrying about blowing up.
Don't worry about what you cannot control, my personal opinion is that many of us will be possibly serving in a peacetime Marine Corps and maybe a couple of minor conflicts flare up in places like Yemen where the Marines may have sit off their shore for awhile. That being said I think the Marine Corps is probably going to stay until 2014 unlike how in previous conflicts the Marines were the first out. It appears that President Obama is going to write off Kunar and remain committed to Helmand and Kandahar much longer.
07-07-11, 03:47 AM #14
I agree with Buhler. "It is what it is" is definitely not the right thing to say in that conversation. I have had this almost same exact talk with my mother about once a week. She always ask why I want to do this? Have you thought about it? You know you could die right? I just try to answer her questions and make her understand. Parents are gonna worry about their kids. They think just because we are 18-25 that we don't inform ourselves with the facts and do research on our own. They assume we just take what the recruiter says as GOLD.
I always tell me mom that I want to join the core because I want to make a difference. I would rather die knowing I made a differnence at a early age than sit around and die a fat disgusting old man that never did anything for his self, country, or the world. I know there is danger in war and I have accepted the fact I may die. I have come to terms with it and if it is my time to go than I wanna know that I did everything I could before I left.
I don't recommend this in a conversation with your mom but if you are having it with your buddies or someone you can cut up with and they ask you, "You know you can die right?" Just say, "Yeah, I'm gonna die sometime. Might as well shoot **** until I get do though." They will either laugh or shut up. One of the two.
07-07-11, 04:16 AM #15
That sounds like my mom. When I first told her I wanted to join she couldn't even say "Marine Corps" without crying. At first she tried to talk me out of it, but she learned to except it.
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