Poolee getting married...need advice

[Marinemom32]

My son is also getting a 10-day leave but he will be graduating from SF training on 12/22, then reports to his new duty station and is able to leave at noon on 12/23/11. At least this is what he told me last night.....this is all subject to change of course.

[Lisa 23]

Marinemom32.....any update on how Nick is doing these days?

[Marinemom32]

Marinemom32.....any update on how Nick is doing these days?

I think you meant this for Marinestepmom...But hopefully he is doing better..I hope he is no longer having doubts.

[Lisa 23]

I think you meant this for Marinestepmom...But hopefully he is doing better..I hope he is no longer having doubts.

You are correct....sorry about that.

[MarineDAD92]

I may sound like a sentimental fool, but I know I'm going to cry at the graduation ceremony....

As you know by now, you weren't alone in your tears of pride/joy. My father who has shed maybe 2 tears in his entire life, couldn't hold them back when he saw his oldest grandson's graduation. It is a very powerful moment indeed.

[Marinemom32]

As you know by now, you weren't alone in your tears of pride/joy. My father who has shed maybe 2 tears in his entire life, couldn't hold them back when he saw his oldest grandson's graduation. It is a very powerful moment indeed.

It is so powerful!! The pride and just the emotion of not seeing your son/daughter for 13 weeks, this was a very emotional moment, almost overwhelming

[jclarke]

He won't get paid at the recuiter's office, new Marine's mainly go to help with paperwork or the poolees. Don't any read/listen to the news of Military families needing to go on Food Stamps! He'll have to go to MCT 10-day's after Boot. IF he's lucky, he'll get picked up, if not, he'll be in "holding" for a couple of weeks. Also, he'll get v-e-r-y little time to write, much less call. The Corps tells him what, where with whom, not his new wife (she gained 30 lbs? Why?). He'll be in the field 80% of the time, and a lot of classwork, plus "Fire-watches". We heard from ours twice, the Sunday after he got there, then on Christmas Day.

We received another letter from Nick a couple of days ago. He passed his swimming test, so that's a good thing. He also told us that he'd had a couple of cavities filled, so his teeth are all good now. We knew about the cavities before he left and advised him to take care of them before we left because we figured that our dentist might be a little more gentle than a Marine dentist, but he didn't heed our advice, so...he also has tonsillitis, so he may have to have them removed. I know that if he spends too much time in the infirmary, it will set him back. Hopefully, he will heal quickly.

He mentioned in a letter to his mother that when he came home after graduation, he was going to see if he could work at the recruiter's office so he would be able to be home for the holidays and not go back for combat training until after the New Year. Since his graduation is scheduled for November 23rd, he would be home for over a month. Is this even a possibility?

[jclarke]

The dress code will be enforced. I saw it happen in the Exchange on Family Day. Also, at MCT, the same thing, she'll h-a-v-e to dress and appear as a Marine's wife. For what little I know, it's all about deportment and conduct. If she's seen in dress that is not condusive to the Marine's, it will definetly hurt your son's advancements.

I'm 6'5" and weigh 200. Can't imagine what you're seeing. To me, sounds like she has no care/worry since she's gotten married.

[Lisa 23]

He won't get paid at the recuiter's office, new Marine's mainly go to help with paperwork or the poolees. Don't any read/listen to the news of Military families needing to go on Food Stamps! He'll have to go to MCT 10-day's after Boot. IF he's lucky, he'll get picked up, if not, he'll be in "holding" for a couple of weeks. Also, he'll get v-e-r-y little time to write, much less call. The Corps tells him what, where with whom, not his new wife (she gained 30 lbs? Why?). He'll be in the field 80% of the time, and a lot of classwork, plus "Fire-watches". We heard from ours twice, the Sunday after he got there, then on Christmas Day.

jclarke........the post you quoted is from back in November of last year. Not being rude here, but if you bothered to read further, you would see that Marinestepmom's stepson Nick has already been at Camp Lejeune for his MCT training since December, and I'm sure by now, he's close to being done, if not done from MCT, and possilby on his way to his MOS school now.
Post #114.......

Nick's been at Camp Lejeune for a week now. He has had access to his cell phone for a short time each day except for when he was out in the field. We found out yesterday that he is in a more intense training group than what he originally thought he would be--apparently, he is training with the infantry. (He told us he would get to toss grenades today.) He is also getting a 10-day leave at Christmas. My husband is now afraid that Nick changed his mind about what direction he wants to go and is afraid to tell anybody. Nick says he hasn't (and I really hope he's telling the truth), but is there any other reason why he would be training with these guys--and why he gets 10 days instead of 48 hours for the holidays?

As for the appearance of his wife, that is something that Nick has to take care of for himself. And I highly doubt that with his wife being heavy will hurt his chances for advancement. Nick is the one who has to do what it takes to get promoted, not his wife.

[jclarke]

You're right Softball, I totally missed the date on that!

As far as the other? Well, from what I saw living under a Marine's roof, how things go (or went at the time) also depended on the deportment and conduct of his family! It didn't matter if the family lived on or off the base. Much made an accounting of what happened, or didn't happen. Maybe thing's have changed in that respect.

[Phantom Blooper]

A Marine is responsible for his and his dependants behavior on and off base.

The Marine cannot help the physical apperance of others whether overweight or ugly.....

However he is responsible as the sponsor to encure that his dependants and guests dress and behave appropriately while on a military installation.

Civil laws apply out in town for both the Marine and family.....but the Marine is still expected to conform to the dress codes and standards of the Marine Corps whether on base ....leave...or liberty.

Until the dependant sets foot on base she/he can wear or do anything they want within legal limits and abide by the civialian laws that all have to follow....no shoes...no shirt...concealed firearms ect.

[jclarke]

Well, all I know is what I saw, heard and was a part of in Georgia, Hawaii and Camp Pendleton. And that was 40-odd year's ago. The wives were to dress and conduct themselves appropriately as a Marine wife. The young teens were expected to conduct themselves accordingly, or the Marine husband/father would hear about it. It didn't matter if the family lived on or off base.garment's.

I know, because a stupid, unthought of remark I made within earshot of someone had my Dad (a Warrant Officer) in front of his CO the following Monday. And I heard about it (AND felt it) when he got home. Another got in serious with his CO because of his wife's "inappropriate" choice of garment to wear.

But, that was decade's ago, and things have changed. I do know of someone who got a dishonorable from the Army because of how his family (especially his wife) conducted themselves.

But hey, we all have our own experiences and observation's, past and present. What one sees, hears or is a part of will be as different as witnesses to a crime or accident. "He was tall, skinny. No, he was short, husky." "The car was red, no green, no blue".

[Phantom Blooper]

Well, all I know is what I saw, heard and was a part of in Georgia, Hawaii and Camp Pendleton. And that was 40-odd year's ago. The wives were to dress and conduct themselves appropriately as a Marine wife. The young teens were expected to conduct themselves accordingly, or the Marine husband/father would hear about it. It didn't matter if the family lived on or off base.garment's.

I know, because a stupid, unthought of remark I made within earshot of someone had my Dad (a Warrant Officer) in front of his CO the following Monday. And I heard about it (AND felt it) when he got home. Another got in serious with his CO because of his wife's "inappropriate" choice of garment to wear.

But, that was decade's ago, and things have changed. I do know of someone who got a dishonorable from the Army because of how his family (especially his wife) conducted themselves.

But hey, we all have our own experiences and observation's, past and present. What one sees, hears or is a part of will be as different as witnesses to a crime or accident. "He was tall, skinny. No, he was short, husky." "The car was red, no green, no blue".

I agree....but this is 2012.

And I do have similar memories....of yesteryear.

[Marinestepmom]

Hi all...I know I haven't posted in awhile, so here's an update. Nick was able to come home for ten days at Christmas because he ended up training with the infantry instead of doing basic combat. His dad saw him a few times, but I only got to see him once. It seems like bride and her family have forgotten that Nick has another family besides theirs, so he didn't get to have Christmas Eve with our side--and since he doesn't have a functioning vehicle of his own, he was at a disadvantage. Bride was angry that she had to work during the time he was home (although she took two weeks off when he came home after boot camp) and posted on Facebook that it was SO unfair and that everyone who had a loved one home on leave should be able to take off as much time from work as they wished. (You see the level of maturity here.) Anyway, he went back to Camp Lejeune on January 1st and was out in the field for two weeks. He came back Thursday night. Bride flew down Friday to be with him. She got fired Tuesday, likely for taking so much time off. This was her first full-time job, so I don't think she realized that she couldn't just decide on the spur of the moment to take five days off without any repercussions. My husband talked to Nick yesterday, and I guess he sounded pretty rough. It was chilly and rainy for most of the time they were out in the field. Nick really likes what he's doing, but he didn't like being out in the elements too much. My husband said Nick sounded like he'd caught a cold...all part of toughening up. He graduates from this portion of his training on Tuesday. He originally was supposed to go to Virginia for MOS, but now he says that he's not going to Virginia because his schooling is now near Camp Lejeune. I can't help wondering if he actually has changed his mind and is going to be in the infantry and is afraid to tell us because he thinks we'll freak out. I realize that going into the infantry will potentially be much more dangerous than the non-combat position he originally was going for, but this is his decision, and I know that there are really NO totally safe positions in the Marines. My gut feeling is that he will be unharmed no matter where he is sent. I guess we will find out sometime this week whether he is going into the infantry or will continue to train for logistics.

Bride isn't looking for another job because Nick's logistics training (if that's what he's doing) is supposed to be completed some time in March and she plans on joining him wherever he is stationed. I don't think she realizes that he may be sent on an unaccompanied assignment. She said at Christmastime that it was really unfair that Nick didn't know where he was going because she needed to start apartment-hunting. I tried to explain to her that the Marines don't operate that way, and that Nick will be at their beck and call for the next 3 1/2 years. I told her of my brother-in-law's niece whose Marine husband was sent on his third deployment 2 weeks before the scheduled birth of their first child. He didn't know where he was going until he was on the ship. Bride thought that his deployment should have been scheduled around the baby's birth. I don't think it's hit home with her yet that Nick's first priority is the Marines, even though he's been in since last August 29th.

She turned twenty a week ago. Maybe now she will grow up a bit, but who knows? She has saved no money, has a brand-new car, has been living with her parents, and been out with her friends every weekend. (They went to Canada for her birthday since the drinking age there is nineteen. She posted a photo on Facebook of a huge bucket full of different kinds of alcohol that someone gave her as a gift. It's more than my husband and I drink in five years.)

She also never sent out the thank-you notes from their wedding which was last July. Nick doesn't know about this. I think the only reason that she and Nick are still together is because they've been apart so much.

One of you was asking why she gained thirty pounds...it's more than that now. Her whole family is overweight; her oldest sister, who is twenty-five, must weigh about 400 pounds. Her belly hangs down to her knees...the wedding colors were orange and yellow, and bride's two older sisters were maids of honor and wore orange dresses. The really large sister looked like a giant pumpkin. I felt bad for her. I've watched what bride eats and everything is unhealthy. For instance, we had her over for dinner a couple of weeks before Nick's boot camp graduation. I made turkey chili, corn muffins, and homemade pumpkin pie. She ate half her bowl of chili but nothing else because she said she was trying to lose weight and was cutting back. When she left, we walked her out to her car and I noticed a huge bag of Reese's Pieces sitting in the passenger seat. (I didn't say anything.) We've been out to eat with her a couple of times. Both times, she got a chicken-bacon-ranch club sandwich minus lettuce and tomato on white bread, extra ranch dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and Mountain Dew. Her mom told us before the wedding that she would be easy to support because she mostly ate candy. At the rate she's going, she should be the size of her older sister in the not-too-distant future.

Nick likes vegetables and fruit. If they stay together long enough to live together, this should be interesting.

[Zulu 36]

I hate to sound mean, but life would be so much simpler for Nick if he divorced beast-woman, and the sooner the better.