Guidence needed

[Odom5363]

Your advice is all so helpful. Yes this post is legit. My son is that, filled with several paradoxes. I believe you all are correct he does need to man up and this is helping me to "cut the apron". I don't come from a military family. He is the first to have done so. I didn't know how to respond. I don't want to enable him at all. It's almost like he is scare of something as stupid as that sounds. It's like he survived the cut but doesn't want what comes next. But for now I am going to use the size advise that has been set before me and I will continue to chime in for support. I found this website by mere accident searching for help just for me and stumbled upon it. Again thank you all.

[Odom5363]

If he is presently living under you roof, I suggest that you have him fall in and you march his honey buns directly to the next drill meeting and deposit him in front of the 1st Sgt's desk. I do not know how they do it these days, but i doubt you want some MP's showing up at your door to pick him up. Then again, maybe that is what he needs.

I don't want that no but I am thinking he needs to see this is nothing to push away. I can tell this is bothering him.

[Odom5363]

Sounds like a sh!tbird to me. Go get him his earned BCD and give him the boot. The Corps will be better off, and down the road a few years he'll be on here whining how he should have tried harder, but Mommy didn't make him be a man.

Thanks but no thanks I am looking for encouragement not discouragement.

[HOWARDROARK3043]

but ... but... Sgt.. in call of duty I am able to do what I want...........

[mcvet57103]

Back in my day you couldn't expect the Corps to just give you a General Discharge. You might get one, but only after NJP/Courts Martial, Brig time, and months of making your life miserable to the point that you wished you had just done your time. It helped substandard Marines man up and remember their oath, and training. Most got their poop in a group, and became good Marines. Nowadays the "New Corps", in an attempt to placate the libtards and their touchy feely BS has, like the Army has always done, softened. My brother whimped out of the Army with a General Discharge, because he got homesick, and didn't want to be a soldier anymore. Now he is a worthless 47 YO freeloading Momma's boy, who can't hold a job, and has been in and out of trouble with the law for years. Is that what you want for your sons future. Babying him, I guarantee, will get you that result.

[Phantom Blooper]

Marine Corps Reserves
Under Marine Corps Order P1100.72C, Reserve members who have not yet attended IADT IInitial Active Duty Training)who refuse to ship out to boot camp, or who state a desire to be discharged, are administratively discharged as an uncharacterized Entry Level Separation (ELS). Members who go AWOL while in IADT are treated the same as active duty personnel who go AWOL. Under Marine Corps Order P1001R.1J, After IADT, when a Reservist acquires at least nine unexcused absences, or is categorized as an unsatisfactory participant for reasons other than excessive absences (such as failure to attend AT...Annual Training), the unit commander must pursue one of the following actions: (1) Retain the Reservist and authorize him/her to regain satisfactory participation status; or (2) Initiate separation proceedings.

[Odom5363]

Back in my day you couldn't expect the Corps to just give you a General Discharge. You might get one, but only after NJP/Courts Martial, Brig time, and months of making your life miserable to the point that you wished you had just done your time. It helped substandard Marines man up and remember their oath, and training. Most got their poop in a group, and became good Marines. Nowadays the "New Corps", in an attempt to placate the libtards and their touchy feely BS has, like the Army has always done, softened. My brother whimped out of the Army with a General Discharge, because he got homesick, and didn't want to be a soldier anymore. Now he is a worthless 47 YO freeloading Momma's boy, who can't hold a job, and has been in and out of trouble with the law for years. Is that what you want for your sons future. Babying him, I guarantee, will get you that result.

That's exactly what I don't want. And I don't consider myself as "Babying" I am very upset and disappointed he is better than this. When he went in his plan was career all the way. He actually earned a phone call home because he shot better than everyone in his platoon. He accomplished several task while in training which makes me NOT understand him now. How can you go from the corp is my life to bam I don't want to go. In my eyes that's bs. I have raised him different than that. He has no job therefor no money I'm not giving him a handout. Except to go to drill. This weekend I refused to give him money if he didn't go. But what I should have done is hand delivered him to first sgt? I will say this I'm not going to just sit back and be quiet. He needs a drill sgt right now in his face. Sure that will wake his butt up to reality. I think that if he would have went straight active he would not have the distractions of the civilian world of girlfriend and choice.

[USNAviator]

I think that if he would have went straight active he would not have the distractions of the civilian world of girlfriend and choice.

I think we've found the other reasons. I figured there had to be other factors involved, simply that he didn't like his unit, the Corps etc. A girlfriend can have a great amount of influence, both positive and negative. Here it seems to be negative

Does he have any buddies who he went through training with that are now active? Can you get in touch with them? Sometimes getting it from a friend can set someone straight.

Good luck

[Old Marine]

Ah Ha, the real reason now comes out. A little twit is involved. The best thing for the Marine Corps to do is cut ties between the Corps and this guy. In the Corps there is no room nor time for this kind of crap. The Corps will be better off and there will be one less malcontent in our ranks.

[Old Marine]

Cmdr: Looks like we both posted about the twit at the same time.

[Odom5363]

I think we've found the other reasons. I figured there had to be other factors involved, simply that he didn't like his unit, the Corps etc. A girlfriend can have a great amount of influence, both positive and negative. Here it seems to be negative

Does he have any buddies who he went through training with that are now active? Can you get in touch with them? Sometimes getting it from a friend can set someone straight.

Good luck

He does have friends that went active. It makes him want the active. He says if he could go active he could marry the girl and take care of her. And as goofy as this sounds. With being reserve you would think he would appreciate it after all he became a marine which was what he always wanted to be. But in his eyes it's giving me all or give me nothing. There was a time he stood tall saying the corp comes first. What happened? He got civilianize I call it. I can't wait to tell him what I have learned just through this site. I think reality will kick in. I'm thinking of taking him for a trip to Montgomery to see his unit. Lol drill isn't over until tomorrow. I think I now have a better understanding as to what my part is in this. And to those who have taken your time to teach me that a big thank you.

[mcvet57103]

He does have friends that went active. It makes him want the active. He says if he could go active he could marry the girl and take care of her. And as goofy as this sounds. With being reserve you would think he would appreciate it after all he became a marine which was what he always wanted to be. But in his eyes it's giving me all or give me nothing. There was a time he stood tall saying the corp comes first. What happened? He got civilianize I call it. I can't wait to tell him what I have learned just through this site. I think reality will kick in. I'm thinking of taking him for a trip to Montgomery to see his unit. Lol drill isn't over until tomorrow. I think I now have a better understanding as to what my part is in this. And to those who have taken your time to teach me that a big thank you.

First of all, Marine is always capitalized. And it's Corps, not corp. Marrying his GF will not guarantee she will be allowed to follow him where-ever he is stationed. Whether it be by permission of the Marine Corps, or their financial situation.

[doc h fmf]

HE NEEDS TO LET GO OF MAMA'S APRON DIDNT HE SIGN FOR THE RESERVES< HE SHOULD OF THOUGHT OF WHAT HE WAS DOING. HE'll be okay mom let him go.
GOODLUCK TO YOU AND YOUR SON MAAM.

STEPHEN DOC HANSEN HM3 FMF

[USNAviator]

He does have friends that went active. It makes him want the active. He says if he could go active he could marry the girl and take care of her. And as goofy as this sounds. With being reserve you would think he would appreciate it after all he became a marine which was what he always wanted to be. But in his eyes it's giving me all or give me nothing. There was a time he stood tall saying the corp comes first. What happened? He got civilianize I call it. I can't wait to tell him what I have learned just through this site. I think reality will kick in. I'm thinking of taking him for a trip to Montgomery to see his unit. Lol drill isn't over until tomorrow. I think I now have a better understanding as to what my part is in this. And to those who have taken your time to teach me that a big thank you.

I think that's a pro-active approach. He needs an attitude adjustment toward his duty and responsibilities. As you mentioned he has some buddies who are active, that's a great place to start.

This is none of my business but if he can't deal with this problem, being married at 19 will put him so far into it he'll never get out.

[Odom5363]

I agree 100%. I married at 17 two years later gave birth to him and found myself a high school drop out divorced with a 2 yr old. I did remarry to a wonderful man had 3 other children Now I'm 38 in college full time while working part time dealing with a 19 not growing up and owing up to his purpose and obligation that he took on. One thing I can say. I have shown him through out his life you work for what you want nothing is given it's earned and if I'm not mistaken that is a term the Marines use quite frequently.