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A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.
The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the...
I picked good old, lucky number 7.
That test don't work.
Three men arrive in heaven at the same time.
St. Peter comes out to greet them. "Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have...
A priest was called away on an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional booth unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
A guy on a golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said, "How bad is it...
SKILSAW: A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
6th Place - It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my...
> Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
A Sharing marriage
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
one half in front of his wife. ...
marriage - til death do you part
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
Website: Your password has expired. You must register a new one.
User: Did someone discover my password and hack my computer?
Website: No. Your password has expired, so you must set a new...
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse,...
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there...
Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been longtime close friends. But, being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement home of her own respective religion.
It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt...
Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a car load of rowdy young lads pulls up alongside.
"Oi, get your tits out you penguins!" shouts one of the lads.
The Mother Superior turns to...
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by...
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man...
Been busy, and have not had time to stop in. Hope everyone is doing fine.
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with queenly large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the...
One guy says to his buddy: What is a dilemma?
The buddy replied: Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that.
Imagine that you are laying in a big bed with a beautiful...
After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, a real southern gentleman beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, “Miss, y’all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y’all to...
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the...
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren....
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a...
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got...
3 virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period. Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon...
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