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Marine F18 flying in Iraqui air space gets radio message attention aircraft identify yourself.This is Marine f18 how may I help you ?You are flying in Iranian air space if you continue you will be engaged.No sir I am in Iraqui Air space .Marine pilot leave or you will be engaged .Send them on up I'll wait for them says the Marine .The radio went silent never to be heard from again .I thought so said Marine pilot.OOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrraaaaah
BE WARNED
There's another DVD scam on the go.
The Tiger Woods DVD 'My Favourite 18 Holes' is actually about golf.
Damn waste of money...
THIS CAME TO ME IN AN EMAIL FROM A FRIEND....
President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York .
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t it can no longer fly!!
<SCRIPT type=text/javascript defer>var YAHOO = {'Shortcuts' : {}};if (typeof YAHOO == "undefined") { var YAHOO = {};}YAHOO.Shortcuts = YAHOO.Shortcuts || {};YAHOO.Shortcuts.hasSensitiveText = true;YAHOO.Shortcuts.sensitivityType = ["adult"];YAHOO.Shortcuts.doUlt = false;YAHOO.Shortcuts.location = "us";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_id = 0;YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_type = "";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_title = "Call for Donations, Please";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_publish_date = "";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_author = "hendrysac@msn.com";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_u rl = "";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_tags = "";YAHOO.Shortcuts.document_language = "english";YAHOO.Shortcuts.annotationSet = {};YAHOO.Shortcuts.headerID = "e2459278fbfe3603e84e1f37082e0fbc";</SCRIPT><STYLE></STYLE><LINK rel=stylesheet type=text/css href="http://d.yimg.com/jq/css/contextual_shortcuts.css" media=all><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD width="50%">Call for Donations, Please </TD><TD width="50%" align=right></TD></TR><TR><TD colSpan=2><HR>I just had a call asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people of the world.
I told them to kiss my ass!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes ain't starving!!
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HOW IS NORMA?
............. This is hilarious !!
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it
possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient
is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number
of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room
302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with
the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I
have
good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.
Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you.
That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your
daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me ****."
TRUE STORY
"99 Is An Important Number"
<TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in" vAlign=top>A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'."
The guy obeys and says, "99"!
The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, please take a deep breath and say, '99'. "
Again, the guy says, "99"!
The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis and your testicles, to keep them out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'."
The guy begins: "One ......... Two ........ Three........http://cdn-cf.aol.com/se/smi/2b000001b7/08
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Don't know if someone's already posted this, but, it's a pretty funny game, at poor Tiger's expense: http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html :bunny:
A cow suddenly jumps out into the road in front of Nancy Pelosi'sLimo, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'
The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
“You were driving. Go and tell the farmer,” says Nancy .
Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
“My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy .
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.'
“What on earth did you say?” asks Nancy . “I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur and I've just killed the old cow.’”
Finally, something to laugh about today! :banana: Thank you, S/F kenQuote:
Originally Posted by marine1955