John Kerry Votes For, Against Tsunami Aid
1/6/2005 - Matt Myford
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In a move eerily reminiscent of the infamous $87 billion controversy during the presidential campaign, Senator John Kerry voted against a tsunami relief package immediately after voting for it.
The curious vote occurred yesterday in the Senate, amid puzzled looks from Kerry's fellow Democrats and "outright chuckles and guffaws" from Repbulicans.
Kerry moved quickly to explain his non-position, giving a lengthy speech that "had almost everyone asleep in less than 10 minutes."
Kerry made a now-famous blunder in the last presidential race trying to explain how he voted for $87 billion to fund the Iraq war, after he voted against it.
President Bush knew right away who conducted the dubious voting: "That long-faced feller...whatshisname...oh yeah, Kerry, the guy I whupped in the election. Funny!"
According to political analysts, Kerry's brief crawl out of obscurity will have no lasting effects. "Most people will forget his name – again – by the end of the week," said an anonymous pollster.
In related news, many Americans were shocked to discover the word 'tsunami' has a silent 't.' Bob Clymer of Butler, Pennsylvania had a typical reaction: "It starts with a 't,' huh? Sheeeeeeeeit, who would've thunk it?"
